CHAPTER 15. I lied.

**— DEREK.**

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Why is that? Why am I so reckless when it comes to Vita?

Why does it feel like I have no control over my body, over my instincts, over my heart?

I’m so furious and heartbroken that I’ve turned over every piece of furniture in this damn room. My wolf is clawing at my chest, growling and begging to come out. And the worst part is that I know exactly what he wants — he wants Vita.

"Stop it!" I say loudly, between my teeth, feeling bitterness rush through my chest.

*"We need her!"* Nero, my wolf, says with his gruff, beastly voice reverberating inside my head like a damn bell. *"You can't keep rejecting her. You're hurting us!"*

"She's not our true mate! Have you forgotten? She killed Alice!"

*"We need her!!!"*

I growl, punching myself in the chest. "Shut up! I don't need you talking shit in my head! Just be quiet and let me deal with it!"

I expect Nero to say something else, but he remains completely silent.

And that should calm my nerves, but I still feel extremely reactive. Vita’s scent is still impregnated on my skin, driving me completely crazy and making my dick throb.

I scratch my own chest with my claws; maybe this foolish act, this physical pain, can bring some sense to my messed-up mind. But it doesn’t do much good because I keep thinking over and over about Vita’s words, the way she turned her face away and rejected me.

Why the hell did I kiss her?

That heartless bitch betrayed me and my poor sister, who loved her with all her heart. And not only that, she called some guy to have sex in the same room where it all happened. Her empty lies are getting lazier and lazier... maybe she’s tired of putting in the effort and realized that she breaks me every time she opens her damn mouth.

But how… How can I keep feeling like this right now?...

Why I’m reacting like this after seeing her in that lingerie?

That fire, that desire... When was the last time I felt that need throbbing through me?

Damn it.

I grit my teeth, running my hand over my face as the wrath sinks and gives way to a different sensation, to this need I’m sure I haven’t felt for over three years.

Her body is thinner, but... She’s still my Vita, her perfectly shaped breasts, her pink nipples marking that light fabric, and the curve of her waist that contrasts with her hips...

My mouth goes dry.

I breathe deeply, grabbing my hair almost to the point of actually pulling it out because, what the hell, I’m hard because of Vita! Even after everything this woman has done, I’m so turned on that it hurts.

“No, haha.” I laugh sarcastically, incredulously, shaking my head and muttering to myself, “I can’t be still desiring that woman... not after everything...”

I snort angrily at this steaming desire that spreads through my body, a throbbing need that drives me crazy...

If she had let me kiss her, what would I have done? What if I kept feeling the softness of her tongue against mine, the taste of her mouth? …

I would have ignored everything.

“Vita...” I call her name so pathetically that I’m grateful to be alone. But at the same time, I would die to be by her side right now.

If I could touch her now, feel her soft skin, her breasts against my chest... I definitely couldn’t handle it.

“Are you still wearing that almost transparent lingerie, Vita? That piece of fabric that reveals your body, like a gift to be unwrapped?”

I swallow hard, feeling my cock throb.

No, no... I’m not going to jerk off to Vita... That’s complete nonsense. I’ll look up for some woman, and that’s it… I can fuck someone else.

Yes, it doesn’t matter if Vita looked so hot in that damn lingerie... if I caught a glimpse of her nipples jumping through the fabric, or if her clit was only a cloth away...

Closing my eyes, I grunt — and my mind insists on going back to that moment, to her smooth skin, to the way she hugged herself and raised her beautiful hazel eyes to me, with that shyness mixed with fragility that I saw every time my Vita took her clothes off for me, even if her eyes always became intense and passionate when she gave herself completely, with the sweetest, most maddening moans I’ve ever heard in my fucking life.

My cock throbs and I feel a wave of excitement run up my spine.

Why?

In those three years, I didn’t feel anything that really made me alive... it was just anger, loneliness, and sadness. I didn’t feel any kind of joy, nor did I feel the pleasure of a woman’s touch. I tried so hard, yes... But even when I had sex with so many women, I felt no real satisfaction.

Since Alice died, I have been killed too.

So why now? Why Vita?

I hate myself... more than hating her, I hate myself. After all, how could I forgive myself for lusting after the woman who destroyed my life? Who betrayed me in such a painful way?

Vita destroyed me... And here I am, almost going crazy because of this woman.

But even if I try to deny it... I’m really hard for her.

I growl again, closing my eyes once more, fighting the craving to touch...

But I can’t resist anymore.

I take a deep breath and surrender, squeezing it slowly, trying to swallow down this desire that consumes me.

But remembering Vita and that lingerie...

I can’t help but remember her body under mine while we made love, her nails on my back, and her sweet moans that reverberated in my ears... And I definitely can’t forget how I put her on the floor and took her hard on all fours.

Unzipping my pants and holding tight to my erection, I moan hoarsely.

My body shivers at the thought of Vita, making me realize that I’m all reactive because of this damn woman... I’m going to make her pay for this... Oh, I definitely am.

I squeeze a little harder and swallow a groan. I close my eyes and throw my head back, straining my throat as I start to move my hand all over my cock, remembering when Vita’s little hands used to try to hold — and I shudder because the next picture in my mind is the way my scent turned her on...

Fuck that.

I move my hand faster, jerking off, with muffled grunts reverberating in the back of my throat. I hate being so turned on by Vita, but all I can think about is the way she pressed her knees together, how she rubbed her breasts against my chest, and gave me a taste of what I miss so much...

I want to fuck her. Damn, I feel like a hungry beast... I want to taste her skin on my tongue, her whole body, especially the middle of her legs, which smell so sweet. I want to bite and suck her until my marks are all over her body...

I increase the pace, my hand slides down my cock, applying just the right amount of pressure to the spot I know is most sensitive. And I also miss Vita’s soft mouth that always sucked me so good in this very spot, with her false shyness. Despite her innocent little face, she always drove me crazy, leaving me completely obsessed and needing her touch, her kisses, and her affection.

And now... I’ve lost everything.

The orgasm explodes and makes me moan louder than I intended. My throat tightens even more, trembling all over my body, shuddering as my hand slips from my pleasure.

I open my eyes slowly, still gasping for breath, and look at the cock that’s still hard, throbbing and unfulfilled... I’m still so needy that it hurts, literally hurts.

“What the hell?” I mutter, squeezing once more, feeling a wave of arousal mix with pleasure and make me swallow another moan.

It really isn’t enough.

I can try it with my hand as many times as I want. What I truly need is beyond what I’m capable of getting.

But I try to push these thoughts away, even if it’s in vain... After all, I can’t think of anything besides the way Vita used to take my cock completely inside her.

And this thought is my death.

[...]

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I’m sitting in my office, looking at the documents in my hand, but I confess that my mind is very far away. Something has been bothering me ever since I saw Vita in that damn room, but I don’t know exactly what.

“Alpha.” Shadow’s voice makes me look up, surprised by his sudden approach.

“Yes?”

“You ordered me to warn you when Miss Vita made a move,” Shadow says in his usual calm voice, his hood hiding the large scar that takes up his entire face.

“And what did my sweet Vita get up to this time?” I put the papers down, turning my chair to look out of the large window behind me. The view is really beautiful from up here.

“She’s working at the WoodBar,” Shadow says slowly, and his words make me hold my breath. “And tonight, she’s performing.”