CHAPTER 86 - THE DILEMMA

Dean.

My father stares at me. “Dean, are you sure you want to do this?” he asks me. Honey sits beside him and stares at me.

“Yes,” I reply without hesitation, “you have to reopen the case. Dr. Jordan advised me to do this. She supports my decision.”

My father nods. “We have to tell your mother.”

I sigh. “Mom can be so dramatic.”

“Yeah, but she wants nothing more than to have your name cleared from this entire mess.” He runs one hand through his hair. My father does this only when he is super stressed.

“Dr. Jordan said that I remembered some crucial information from my hypnosis.” Despite my tension, joy surges through me. “Dad, I remembered that I wasn’t driving that night.” I smile. “I didn’t kill Dana.”

My father half smiles. “I always knew you didn’t kill your girlfriend, Son,” he says and pats my shoulder. We have to inform your mother about our intentions.”

“Sonia!” he calls. My mother is in her den undoubtedly gossiping with some of her friends in person or virtually.

“I’ll be right there,” she says.

My mother’s right there takes all of eight minutes and thirty seconds. My father rolls his eyes as we wait. Honey snuggles next to my father. I see she has now graduated from her own chair to sitting with my father while he watches baseball.

“I’m here.” She flashes us a bright smile.

“You should sit down,” my father says.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. Her smile is replaced by a worried expression.

“Dean wants us to reopen Dana’s murder case.” My father pauses.

“What?” Her eyes widen. My mother looks first at my father and then at me. “Are you sure about this, Dean?” she asks me.

“Yes.” I nod to reassure her. “I visited Dr. Jordan today. She advised me to do the same.”

Tears fill my mother’s eyes. “Are you sure you are mentally ready for this? The police can be quite aggressive when they are questioning and interrogating you.”

I am a little scared of going back in for questioning but I am ready for this. “Yes, Mom, I am. This time you and Dad will be there with me. I am not the angry, confused person I was a few years ago when all of this happened.”

She nods and a fresh round of tears fills her yes. “Okay,” she whispers, “I support your decision. But the moment this all becomes too much for you to handle I will make you stop. I don’t want to see you get hurt again and I don’t want the media and tabloids to drag your name through dirt again.”

“Your mother is right,” my father says.

“I agree,” I tell them. My heart thumps hard. I am so scared of what I am about to do but deep down it feels so right.

“You should tell Lace,” my father says.

“Yes,” my mother chimes in, “she should know what you are about to do.”

My heart races even faster. It hurts and shames me a little to have Lace know such intimate details of my past. It also pains me for her to know how I was betrayed. Lace will stop at nothing to prove my innocence. I know that in the depths of my heart and soul.

“If you’re coming clean with everyone, it’s best to come clean with Lace too. Trust me, it’s the right thing to do if you want to save your relationship,” my father tells me.

“Yes, it is,” I agree, “I will ask her to meet me tomorrow morning.” Too much has happened today. My body and mind are both exhausted. I just want to rest before I do anything else.

“Firoz prepared your favorite Pakistani biryani,” my mother tells me, “I don’t mind eating an early dinner.”

“I don’t mind either,” my father says.

My stomach rumbles as if on cue. “What are we waiting for?” I grin at them. I am so grateful for them right now. I don’t know if I would have visited Dr. Jordan and decided to reopen the case if I hadn’t returned home. Dinner is served within the next ten minutes. My parents chat to me throughout. Although I am mentally exhausted, I keep the conversation going. I am relieved when dinner is over. I immediately make my way to my bedroom and lie on my bed. My father goes back to watching reruns of baseball matches and my mother returns to her den to continue her virtual gossiping.

I fall asleep as soon as lie down and dream I am back at Lace’s apartment.

***

Lace.

“I am the best private investigator in the world,” Alison insists as she struggles to wake up from the couch. My mother prepared the guest bedroom for her. Luckily, Alison recently began traveling with an overnight bag just in case she goes into labor.

“Yeah, I know but it’s getting pretty hard for you to move around now that you’re approaching your due date,” I remind her.

She nods. “You make a valid point, Lace,” she says as she waddles to the guest bedroom. “My back hurts like I spend the entire day fucking.”

I shake my head. “Will you be happy if your baby’s first word is fuck.”

She glances at me. “Shit happens. Fuck is still a word.”

“I give up, Ali.”

Alison laughs so loud that for a moment I forget all about my worries. My mother is in the kitchen baking a red velvet cake. My father is working late. My siblings went out with their friends for movies and dinner.

“I think you should tell Dean that you hired your own private investigator to help clear his name,” Alison tells me once she is lying down on the bed with her feet propped up. “Remember that the reason you moved out in the first place is because of the secrets he kept from you. You’re doing the same thing. Don’t you think he will be just as pissed as you were when he finds out that you are keeping secrets from him?”

Alison is right. “That baby of yours wins the Nobel Prize for Righteousness,” I tease her.

She sighs. “I’ve come a long way with Zane. The easiest way for a relationship to survive any situation is to ensure that both of us remain honest at all times. It’s helped Zane and I create a whole new level of trust,” she tells me.

“I’ll call Dean in the morning and ask him to meet me somewhere private where I know we can talk.” I sigh. “What if he gets pissed off with me for not telling me about hiring a private investigator?” My shoulders immediately droop with the weight of the secret that I am keeping from Dean.

“Deal with it, Lace. Fight for your relationship. Tell him the reason you hired your own private investigator. Explain to me as if you are talking to him,” she suggests.

Alison and I have practiced talking to each other before having serious conversations with other dozens of times so why does this time feel so damn difficult for me?

“I’ll start.” She lowers her voice. “So, what do you want to talk about, Lace?”

I giggle a little at her deep voice. “I hired a private investigator, Dean. I am so sorry I did that without telling you but all I wanted was to clear your name.”

“What?” she feigns shock. “Don’t you trust me? I would have been more than happy to support your decision if you had just told me you wanted to hire someone to dig into my past.”

I flop on the bed next to Alison. “Do you think he will really say that?”

“He could. The worst case scenario is he could storm off in a huff. One thing is certain thought that no matter what happens, you will help him clear his name. there is no denying that. Sooner or later, Dean will have to admit that.”

Alison is right. “But what if he never wants to speak to me again for keeping a secret from him?”

“Then I suppose it’s one of the things you will have to deal with, Lacey.” She takes my hand and places it over my belly. “Do you feel that?”

Her baby is furiously kicking inside. “Oh my. That is pretty amazing.”

“Yeah. I doubt Dean will break up with you,” she tells me, “there will be rough patches and there will be smooth patches and in the end that’s what makes staying worthwhile. Whether Dean realizes this or not, you are fighting to save your relationship. If he doesn’t see that then I will be forced to have words with him.” Her baby kicks hard as if in agreement.

I laugh. “Thank you.”

“Now you should stop agonizing over how your hot, huge cocked boyfriend is going to react. Rest, and let tomorrow happen as it is intended to happen,” she says.

“Thank you.” I try hugging her but it is a little awkward. I let Alison rest and head to my bedroom. I open up my chat apps and check if Dean is online. He was last online yesterday. I am a little relieved. I would have been forced to chat if he was online. I close the app quickly because I am not in the mood to chat with anyone else.

I want to prove Dean’s innocence. I want him to live freely and not worry about anyone threatening our relationship. I will tell him all this tomorrow. And if he decides that me going behind his back to hire a private investigator is too much for him to handle then so be it. I will accept whatever decision he makes and eventually move on with my life. I fall asleep and dream of Dean breaking up with me. I wake up the next morning with tears streaming down my face. I hate dreams that feel so real that I am all emotional when I wake up. I rush into the shower and hope the steaming hot water will help me feel better. It does. I call Dean once I am dressed. His phone rings and rings until the call is diverted to his voicemail. Does he already know I betrayed him?