A baby

Amaya’s POV

I take his hand in mine leading him downstairs, the war is over and with Calla gone, I have never been happier. I made breakfast for Adric this morning, I haven’t cooked in a while.

“What is the occasion?.” He asks and I smile.

“Nothing, I just want to make you breakfast.” I smile.

I made waffles and chicken, who doesn’t like a heavy meal for breakfast? I haven’t seen Stephen since last night after all he is my friend too.

“Do you know what will go great with this?.”

“If you say sex, I will punch you.” I smiled, and his eyes widened before he covered it up with a smile.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I will but afterward I will take care of your wounds.”

“Sex.” He grins and I roll my eyes.

After breakfast Adric and I went upstairs. He has a meeting to be in so I figured I could visit Chanel; it’s been a while.

I didn’t tell her I would be coming, I wanted her to be surprised, Chanel knows nothing about the mafia and I would like to keep it that way. The farther she is from this, it safer it is for her. I glanced at her through the glass window, a smile appeared on my face.

She must have seen me because I saw the smile on her face, I walked into the cafe. I haven’t been here for a while, I’m sure they must have forgotten who their boss is.

“I missed you so much.” She smiles while giving me a hug.

“I missed you too.” I smiled, we went back to the office so we could talk.

“Dean? Where does he work?.” I ask, she is just telling me about her boyfriend, the one I haven’t met her.

“At a bank, he is perfect.” She smiles. “Maya you look different.”

“What do you mean?.”

“Raise your shirt.” She says and I raise my eyebrows, I was confused by what she meant.

I raised my shirt, she examined my body which I found a little weird.

“Are you pregnant?.” She asks and I shake my head.

“I can’t be.”

“You have sex, and I know you have been reckless.”

Fuck, I must have forgotten to take the pill. I checked my calendar and saw I was about three weeks late.

Fuck fuck fuck.

I can’t be pregnant, that is not part of the plan.

“Breathe maya.” She says.

I puff in the air, trying to calm myself from the different thoughts that ran through my head. I love the idea of having a child but not now.

“What am I going to do?.”

“It’s not the end of the world if you are pregnant.”

“You don’t understand, with my illness. I don’t want to have a child, I don’t need to bring a baby into this world knowing one day I am going to forget about her.” I whisper, I already broke my first rule and I fell in love.

I don’t want to forget having a child, I don’t want to.

“What if it’s genetic?.” I whisper.

“It won’t happen to your baby, I need you to breathe. I could be wrong Maya.” She says and I nod.

She leaves me in the office to run to the store to get the pregnancy test kit. It took her five minutes to get back.

“Promise me you won’t freak out.” She says and I nod.

I know Adric would be happy to have a child, fuck I would want a child too but not now. I always figured I would end up living with Chanel for the rest of my life.

“It doesn’t matter if you are pregnant because I know you will be the best mother this baby will ever have, fuck even if you forget the baby. I know your child will never will, he/she remembers how much you loved them.” She says and I nod.

My dementia could get worse and what happens when I start getting delusions and behavioral changes? I haven’t told Chanel but I think I have started experiencing that, that could explain my sudden love for the mafia and the torturing.

I am messed up.

I took one more look at the test after peeing on it, I had to wait for thirty minutes before I got the result.

“What would you name your baby?.” Chanel asks and I glare at her. “Just asking, come on answer me.” She smiles.

“I always wanted twins so I would name them Ocean and Blue, Ocean for the boy, and Blue for the girl.”

I know some may say it’s a stupid name but I found it cute and different.

“And middle names.”

“Adric would pick them.” I smile and she nods.

I tried to distract myself but it was to no avail, once I heard the timer ring.

“Please check,” I whisper and she nods.

She takes the pregnancy test.

“It’s negative.” She says.

A wave of emotions rushed through my mind, there was a large part of me that felt sad.

“I guess you are just adding weight, I’m sorry I scared you, Maya.” She says.

“It’s fine.” I smile. “It’s good news right.” I widened my fake smile.

Why are you sad, my subconscious asks, a big part of me wanted this child, a symbol of Adric and me, someone that will always be there for him even when I’m not.

“I have to leave.” I smile. She didn’t push it, she let me leave.

I took a cab to the cemetery, I hadn’t even been here for a while. I wish they were both with me, I bought flowers before walking in. We buried them beside each other just like Mother would have wanted.

“Hello mom, why did you leave us? Why didn’t you stay?.” I whisper. “Chanel still misses you, we don’t talk about it but we do. If you were here everything would have been easier.” A tear slips out of my eyes.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Maya.” I hear a voice I thought I would never hear again.