Chapter 51 Torn.

Chapter 51 Torn.
Ursula reached home clutching her hands in chest with the necklace pendant in between.

She panted.

Tears spread down her cheeks as she immediately rushed, laying on the bed.

Finally, her mom's ashes.

But she knew it wasn't just it.

It was also the intensity of everything she felt when she saw Jared.

And she hated herself for still feeling anything, even hurting for him.

The door knob turned.

She wiped her cheeks, hid the pendant in her dress, pulled the duvet over her body and acted like she was fast asleep.

The door opened.

A drunk Ethan.

He fell to the ground.

Thud!

Then, Ursula turned around immediately to see.

She sat up.

"Ethan?"

He struggled to get up but he finally did.

And dragged himself to the bed, falling on it like a huge log of wood.

Ursula tried to tap his shoulder to tell him to get his shoes off.

How did he get drunk? All he did was go to the beach? Where's Taylor?

She shook him.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.

"Please...don't leave me, I beg you, please" he cried.

"What...you're drunk..you need to call down... please you'll be fine, I promise, you need water, I'll go get water" Ursula said.

She tried to stand up but he pulled her hand tighter and she fell on his body.

"Ouch!" she exclaimed as the pendant poked her chest.

"Please, stay" Ethan cried even more.

"..you see me more than anyone sees me... you tolerate my worst and still decide to help me, what will I do if you leave me...I know I didn't do anything to Taylor. Yes, something happened between us but I promise...it wasn't intentional, I just..." he cut and then began to vomit.

Ursula sprang up from the bed, immediately.

She rubbed his back, and tried to make him sit up to avoid the vomit from getting into his head or choking him.

She pulled her hand out of his, forcefully and ran out of the room to call a maid for help.

The maid came in, helped her change Ethan's clothes, change the bedsheets, get him water which she made him drink till he no longer vomited.

Soon, he was fast asleep.

And i thought things couldn't get worse than his meanness to me. Now, he no longer sleeps at night and neither do I.

She ran her fingers through her hair, in frustration.

Then, she lay down.

She tried to close her eyes, fingering the pendant thinking of her mother finally resting in peace all thanks to Jared.

Jared?

The immediate thought of him caused an image to flash in her mind.

No, not just flash.

It stayed there like a doodle written with a permanent marker and refused to leave no matter how much she tried to redirect her thoughts back to her mother.

Ursula, you can't be thinking of him. You no longer have feelings for him. You shouldn't. Be ashamed! No matter what he does for you, you shouldn't ever think of him. Think of it this way, if he had helped you on time, your mother wouldn't have died. Yes.

She wiped the tear off her cheek.

Ethan's hands wrapped themselves around her even though he was still fast asleep.

He pulled her closer to himself, turning her to make her face him.

"Ursula, I love you"

Ursula convinced herself that she didn't hear him clearly.

She told herself that he was probably calling one of his mistresses and thinking it was her in his arms.

Ethan continued.

"Ursula, don't ever leave me. Even if I ask you to, just don't ever leave me, please"

What in the name of alcohol is he saying? Is this how bad alcohol gets to people? Why is he making my night worse with what he's saying? Love doesn't exist. If love existed, I'd still have my mom, Shania and Jared. If love existed, I'd probably have met you when I had made it in life not now when I've lost everything.

Etnan pressed her closer to his body.

Yes, she didn't want it but at least it distracted her from thinking of Jared.

So, she hugged him back, feeling a bit relieved surprisingly.

When last did someone hug you Ursula? When last did someone love you? And apart from your mum, did anyone ever love you? Did your mom agree to let death take her because she was tired of you? Did you mum never tell you about your dad because he left? And did he leave because he didn't think that you deserved to be loved? Was he right, huh?

She breathed in, to avoid the voices in her head.

Her eyes stayed on Ethan's innocent face.

The face that would be mean to her, tomorrow until he remembered that she was helping him get over his guilt.