Chapter 47 Ethan's Karma?

Chapter 47 Ethan's Karma?
Ethan lay inside the bathtub that was filled with soapy water and bottles of Hennessey that floated.

His hands were spread to the side, with another bottle in one hand.

He belched loudly and then bowed his head in a state of wake-sleep.

Ursula, who had just woken up, pushed the bedsheet down her body in irritation.

Her thighs felt a bit soaked with blood, like the pad had begun to overflow.

She raised her head and the room spun sharply.

She took a few deep breaths and managed to stand up.

One foot after the other, with her hand on her forehead, she reached the bathroom.

She struggled with the cold door knob a bit before it finally opened.

Her eyes first went to the toilet seat.

She staggered till she got there, pulled down her underwear and sat down on the toilet seat, peeing.

The bleeding seemed to have stopped.

Thank God.

Blood was something she didn't like seeing, even if it was hers.

She remembered when her mom would suggest being a doctor to her and she'd get very uncomfortable and always say "no" because the sight of blood disgusted and scared her.

She got up.

A very warm shower was what she needed now.

Then, her eyes landed on Ethan.

Wasted in the bath tub.

She frowned softly.

"Ethan?"

He responded with a grunt.

Why is he so drunk? What happened now? I didn't lose the child. Why did he choose the bathtub? My stomach still hurts a bit. I really want to take a shower.

She bent over him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her soft weak voice almost failing her.

"I hate myself.." Ethan started.

"What do you mean?" Ursula asked.

Is he finally regretting what he did to Taylor?

She took the bottle out of his hand and placed it gently on the floor, just like she once did for her mom the day she came home late after losing a job.

"Why...are you..taking the bottle, huh? Give it b-b-back?" Ethan stammered, his words slurring a bit.

My God, he's really drunk.

"Please, you have to leave the bathtub now. This isn't healthy for-"

"Do you.. have any idea what I'm going through?" Ethan said.

"What do y-"

"Do you know what it means to live in guilt of knowing you ruined everyone's life, for the rest of your entire miserable fucking life?" Ethan muttered.

What are you talking about? Whose else's life did you ruin apart from mine and Taylor's?

"What are you talking about?" Ursula asked.

"Do you know what it means to lose both your mother and father, causing yourself to be an orphan and also your sister?"

Ursula didn't say anything.

She kept trying to help him stand up even though she knew she wasting her little strength and precious time.

"I wanted to drive..they said no but I stubbornly insisted. I was so young.and always wanted to get whatever I wanted...I really wanted to take mom and dad on a drive and when they agreed, I did...I also wanted to drive really fast..."

Ursula's attention was brought to what he was saying fully, now.

"They asked me to slow down several times...I didn't.."

Ursula waited patiently, her mind connecting the dots with when she opened his journal before abd his reaction when she did.

"I-I-I..drove even faster and then...that man was about to cross the road, I wonder why didn't fucking look!" Ethan said, reached out for one of floating bottles and threw them against the tiled walls.

Ursula ducked with her hands over head as the bottle scattered into tiny shards from the wall to the ground.

Ursula began to pant a little.

"Calm down, please...I'll go call Mr Anthony ' Ursula said and stood up to go but he held her hand, preventing her from standing up.

"Why do you want to call him? He's been with me for years? He couldn't still save me from myself...I'm drowning everyday of my life, I'm dying in guilt" Ethan dragged his words slowly.

"You have to calm down"

"How can I calm down when I think of them everyday? I always think of how I tried to avoid that man and still I ended up hitting him, swerving into the woods, crashing into a tree and killing him and my parents" Ethan concluded, throwing his head backwards, eyes still shut tightly.

Ursula's eyes widened in shock.

He killed his parents. Is this why he's so cold? Is this why he's always been uncaring about my loss of my mother?

He held Ursula's hand tighter.

"Please, don't leave me, please, don't go. I need you to be sane.. please, I'll give you anything, just give me a child. I am so afraid something will happen to Camilla and I'd no longer have a sister, please stay and let have at least a plan B" Ethan begged, tears began to pour copiously from his eyes and they wet the back of Ursula's palm.

Ursula pitied him.

She hesitated at first but then, she placed her hand on his hair and began to smooth it backwards.

He kept mumbling things that were inaudible to Ursula till he fell asleep.

Her thighs soon started hurting, so she got up, slowly, avoiding waking him up.

I need to call someone to help me move him to the bed.

Her legs felt numb and prickly from all the bending down.

She walked towards the door, took one more look at him and then left.

It was 1am.

She walked around the house, looking for anyone on standby.

Oh God, I feel like the blood's drying between my thighs. I really need a hot shower. Where do I find these bodyguards when I need them but when I don't want them, they're always in my face.


And she bumped into one.

It was ironical.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am, I didn't see you coming, do you need anything?" one of the bodyguards asked.

"Yes, please, help me. Ethan, your boss, he's in the bathtub, he's drunk, I need help" she said, pointing towards their room like a child trying to explain something to it's mother.

"Okay, ma'am, let's go"

She walked behind the bodyguard, keeping up at the pace her body would let her.

Her eyes felt sore, a headache came and went, her throat parched.

She wanted to shower, she wanted to drink water, she wanted to sleep.