Chapter 90 Chapter 5: Nixie

Chapter 90 Chapter 5: Nixie
Nixie:

It’s been three days and I haven't received a single damn call from Ivan. I get that we broke up from our fake relationship or whatever, but he couldn’t even send a single text, it hurts. And to be honest, anytime I hear the pinging of my phone, I hurriedly check it like a pathetic maniac, hoping that it’s him and then disappointment washes over me when it’s just a school notification.

“Nixie, you are miserable from the breakup. All you have been eating is instant noodles.” Elva frowns, obviously not happy about my nutritional life, she reminds me of Ivan in a way that only saddens me the more. I miss his constant jab, and the way he adjusts his glasses whenever he is feeling flustered. I miss that look on his face whenever his ears go bright red.

I fear that Elva is right, but you can’t blame me for sleeping in. It’s Sunday, no classes, I am free throughout, so pardon me if eating instant noodles and drinking soda from a can is the best way to get over a fake breakup.

“Admit it.” Like a flash, Elva is by my side, hands folded across her chest. She has that scary expression on her face whenever she’s explaining something that someone doesn’t seem to get.

That expression gives me the chills every single time.

“Admit what?” I furrow my brows, and she rolls her eyes at me. Fair enough.

“You care about Ivan.” Elva says, raising a brow. The look she is giving me is different, it’s softer and I fear that if she keeps looking at me like that, I am going to burst into tears. “Hell, you might even love him.”

Tears start to fill my eyes, is this what love feels like? Because it sure hurts as hell. I can’t bring myself to sleep, even when I close my eyes, it is like I am seeing his face.

“I think I love him.” I say, sitting upright. “It’s blurry, Elva. I don’t know what to do.”

“I felt like that with Alex, that uncertainty whether or not you are in love with someone pricks at your insecurity. You start to wonder if you are, almost to the part that you might go insane.” We both stare at each other and laugh. I miss this. “But you deserve more, you deserve love. Maybe it’s worth giving it a chance.”

“How can I change it?” I ask, staring hopefully at Elva as though she is a love magician, who will magically make sure I get my happy ever after. “I already broke up with Ivan.”

“Maybe it’s not too late to go after him?” Elva suggests, coming closer and I wish that is possible, that I can run back to him and we are going to kiss until the day bleeds into nightfall. But unfortunately, that’s not how love works.

“He likes Kaela.” I admit bitterly. “I am not sure he ever came close to liking me, talk less of loving me.”

“Don’t say that, Nixie.” Her face softens, I am tired, I am hungry, I am scared and most of all I am angry just because someone doesn’t love me back. I know it’s a weird feeling but I didn’t know that this was what they meant when they said breakup is cruel.

“Girls!” Anna stomps into the room, flashing cards at our face while beaming. She’s practically squealing. “You won’t believe this!”

“You do know that you’ll save yourself the stress if you just tell us what’s going on.” Elva rolls her eyes. “What are the cards for?” she asks, furrowing her brows.

“Not cards, these are tickets.” Anna corrects, her eyes beaming at me. “I successfully got us tickets to one of Mick Conner’s parties. Girls, we got to get dressed right now, the party has already started.” My ear perk just by hearing Mick Conner’s name, he’s one of the popular dudes in college who thinks he’s entitled just because his rich as hell Alpha father contributes to the wellness of the academy.

He’s one of the few people that owns a private dorm. Anyone who owns a private dorm is living the dream, it’s basically like a suite in a school, which is why Mick throws insane parties since he has no roommates. Aside from that, getting a ticket to one of Mick’s parties is hard, now I am wondering how the hell Anna got a ticket.

“What do you think?” She is still beaming, flashing the tickets in the air.

“I think I am going to pass.” I reply tiredly and Anna looks at me in surprise. I am surprised at myself too, I never miss a party, and since we have never been to any of Mick’s parties before, I am supposed to be jumping in excitement.

“You can’t pass. This isn’t the Nixie we know, we know a strong Nixie, bold, fearless, not afraid to say what’s on her mind, you don’t sugarcoat bullshit.” Anna says and I agree with her.

I am not usually like this, so why is Ivan Vexmore making me this way?

“Fuck this.” I tell them. “Let’s go crash this damn party.”

I stare at the mirror, admiring my dress. The dress-  a black, velvet, off-shoulder with lace sleeves looks more dramatic than anything I have worn. My hair is half-pinned back, I am wearing combat boots instead of heels, because let’s be honest, we all have different fashion sense.

“Damn, Nixie.” Elva whistles, she’s wearing a deep burgundy corset top paired with a leather trouser. 

Anna walks out from the bathroom, twirling. “How do I look, girls?” her forest green top gives her a bold standout, dark jeans that hug her hips paired with sneakers.

“Like you’re going to kill tonight.” Elva says, and I nod my head, agreeing with that. Anna seems pleased enough because she smiles brightly.

“Ready to go?” She asks, and we nod. Maybe a party is all I need to get over this fake breakup. 

\--

Mick Conner’s party is everything I expected. Floating candles, flashing bright lights, loud music. Since his parents fund half the campus, the rules don't exactly bend to him.

“Damn.” Anna looks around, eyes twinkling. “Drink?” she asks, eying the bar at the other side of the room. The flashing lights and loud music are making my head dizzy. In a weird way, I am already starting to regret coming to this party.

“Yes, please.” I reply, if I have to push through this evening, then I might at least have to drown myself in liquor.

“Roger that.” Anna walks in the direction of the bar, students are dancing like crazy on the dance floor, swaying their hips, some are huddled in a corner, drinking from plastic cups. There’s a couple making out on the velvet couch.

Oh goddess.

The point of this party is to prove that Ivan can’t make me pathetic, but why am I searching for him in the crowd? I feel like an idiot just by looking, Ivan can’t be here, he simply won’t. He would rather be in the library, talking to books rather than interacting with humans. Even the thought makes me bitterly chuckle.

“Are you okay?” Elva asks, concern evident in her eyes.

“Yes.” Now, I feel like shit. “You don’t have to wingman me all night. You should text Alex, ask him to come.”

“I already did.” Elva blushes deep red and I pat her shoulders.

“Good, now wait for your boyfriend. I’ll be over there.” I point at the couch that is thankfully empty. Elva nods and I saunter over to the couch, propping myself on it. There are some stares and whispers, like ‘Isn’t that Nixie’ and ‘Where’s her hot nerd?’ and ‘I guess he isn’t the type to come to these kinds of parties.’

“Can I sit?” I hear a voice and see Kaela staring down at me with a polite smile. 

“Yes.” My voice is detached, rather tired. I try mustering up a smile, but it comes out crooked so I just go with my straight face. We both sigh, staring at the crowd. Maybe we both have this in common- observing people.

“I tried talking to Ivan.” Kaela starts and the mention of his name makes my heart start to pound. Honestly, I am not in the mood to hear some bullshit about their first date, or first kiss or whatever, or how he was nice and kind, and spitting out science facts. Why does everything just hurt like this?

“What happened?” I find myself asking, because even though I tell myself I don’t care, I fucking still care about him and it hurts.

Kaela looks me dead in the eye. “He rejected me politely, we both know how he is.” We share a laugh despite the hurt in her eyes.

“He rejected you?!” The news registers in as our laugh dies down. “How?”

“He told me he loves someone else.” Her eyes twinkle and my heart starts pounding so bad. I l look her in the eye for affirmation and she nods her head.

“Can’t you see it, babe?” Kaela sighs. “He likes you very much, scratch that. He freaking loves you, so what’s stopping you both?” She asks.

“We kind of broke up.” I wince, “I fucked up, didn’t I? I told him I never wanted to see him again.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fuck that, people break up all the time. My parents broke up three times and they’re still married for twenty-five years. Go get your man, Nixie. Love isn’t perfect, it’s messy but it’s beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I say, determination striking through me. 

“Anytime.” Kaela smiles weakly and I squeeze her hand with affection.

I start to look for Elva and Anna to tell them that I am going to look for Ivan in his dorm, but they are nowhere to be seen. The crazy dancing throng of people seems to have covered them up.

“Shit, shit.” I panic, pulling out my phone and sending a quick text to them.

Me: Don’t look for me; I am off to find Iva, xoxo.

I come out from Mick’s private dorm, rubbing my hands nervously against my dress. What if I am not ready for this? What if he is already over me? What if the someone else he’s referring to isn’t me? Sweat starts to drip from my temples and my body starts feeling light-weighted. Fuck, I am feeling uncomfortable

I need a dip in the water.

“Fuck.” I groan, leaning against the wall as I try to breathe but my chest is heaving like I am having a freaking panic attack. Why now when I am about to confess my feelings to a guy? I haven’t felt uncomfortable for the past one week so why now? If I make it to Ivan’s dorm without having a dip, I would probably faint in front of him before I even start talking.

Which is why I make the decision to go to the North Lake and have a quick dip, then I can come find Ivan in his dorm. As always, the North Lake is quiet, when my feet touch the cold water, I feel my racing pulse start to return to normal. My fins and scales form as I dunk into the water, the relief washing over me.

I float on the water, staring at the sky that is already starting to set, I swim for like five minutes, trying to get my head together. The moment I am done, I step out of the water, my hair wet, my body shivering.

“You might need this.” A familiar voice says behind me and before I know it, he covers me with a blanket. I freeze, turning slightly. Ivan is standing there, with a weak smile.

He adjusts his glasses and I can tell he’s nervous. “Hi.” He simply says.

“Hello.” I say back, still shocked. I drag the blanket across my body.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, but I have a few things to say, I don’t like Kaela, I like you, and the reason I pulled out from the kiss was because I was scared. I was feeling these scary emotions I have never felt with any one before, it was terrifying and I am sorry that I made you think something else. It’s all my fault and you might not want to get back together with me and that’s perfectly alright. I’ll be fine, that’s a bloody lie, I might die from heartbreak. Do you know that people die from-” I interrupt him by throwing my hands around his shoulders.

“Stop babbling.” I say, looking into his eyes. “Though, you look cuter when you are.”

He stares at me, smiling warmly. “I was nervous. I thought you were going to walk out on me again.” I see the hurt in his eyes. All these times, I have been so selfish of thinking about myself that I didn’t even stop to think about Ivan and how he might be feeling....I had no idea he was scared.

“I am so sorry.” I hug him tight, sniffling. We stay like that for a long time, just feeling each other’s warmth. “I am scared too, I have no idea what I am doing right now but I know that this is love. I love you, Ivan Vexmore.”

“You do?” He asks in shock.

“Shut up, you’re such a nerd.” I tilt my head back and laugh, which makes his ears turn the brightest shade of pink.

“I love you, Nixie.” He says back. “And I am not sure where we’re supposed to go from here but I think that according to research, when two people love each other, they are meant to be in a relationship which is popularly known as ‘dating’”

“Right.” I nod my head, still grinning. “Let’s try that.”

\--

Ivan:

Three weeks later,

“You have to multiply two by that number, not X.” I say softly to Nixie, but she’s too busy studying my face to pay attention. “Nixie, focus.”

“Uh-uh.” She replies, completely not interested. “Damn, why do you always look so sexy whenever you’re tutoring me?” She asks, grinning.

My face betrays me and my cheeks flush bright red. Damn it. We’ve been dating for three weeks, yet anytime she compliments me, I go bright red. What will I do without this woman?

These three weeks have been the most wonderful time of our lives, we’re still learning what we both dislike and like, but aside from that, we still always have our 3am video calls, in which Nixie makes sure to eat instant noodles just to spite me. Whenever she is feeling uncomfortable, I accompany her to the North Lake. She swims and I read by the bank. We share our thoughts on everything and nothing at once.

We fall in love with each other more and more every day. I got close with her best-friends, Elva and Anna. Nixie and I video call my mother every week and my mother adores her, Nixie’s older brother, Dom is quite terrifying on screen but he seems to like me, as long as I make his sister happy (his words, not mine)

“Why don’t we make out instead?” She suggests, that mischievous glint in her silver eyes. 

“Don’t even try to seduce me with your siren powers right now. You have a maths test tomorrow.” I say, trying to act like I am annoyed but of course, she reads right through and grins.

I am a total goner for that beautiful grin of hers. Last week, when I asked Nixie to the upcoming mating ball, she only gave me that grin and it was more than a yes.

She closes the maths book and sits on the desk. “Have you ever noticed that when you care less about something, you do better at it?”

I don’t bother asking what it has to do with the maths test, but I know exactly where it's going through.

I shake my head and mutter under my breath. “Screw the test.” I pull her onto my lap and kiss her, she kisses me back with the same intensity. The door opens and Mira bursts in, unannounced. We both separate, our chest heaving.

“Shit.” She says when she sees us. “Oh goodness! Sorry.” She doesn’t seem the least bit sorry because she’s holding back a laugh. “Right, right. I’ll fuck off; I just came to grab something.” She walks to her side of the bed and grabs her denim jacket.

“Let me leave you lads to do your thing.” She winks, giving Nixie a thumbs up. “Okay, bye now!” She closes the door, laughing so loudly.

Nixie chuckles at Mira’s odd behaviour, those two have gotten closer over the past few weeks, sometimes, I even feel like they’re plotting against me.

“Where were we?” Nixie asks.

“I think we were right here.” I brush my lips against hers, grinning and we resume kissing. All of this? I wouldn’t replace it for anything in the world.