Chapter 54

“He and I have been fuck buddies for a while. He knows I’m seeing you, and he knows how I feel about you. I told him as soon as you and I talked about this, I’d see if you were open to having him join us. He’s really a sweet guy and a lot of fun in bed. It’d be kind of a test run. You know, to see if it’s something you’d be okay with.”

Before Dan could wrap his head around this and respond, his cell phone rang. It was the answering service. There was an emergency.

After Dan took the information, he turned to Bill. “I can’t process this right now. I have an emergency call. I have to go.”

* * * *

Dan couldn’t ever remember being glad he’d gotten an emergency call before. In fact, just that morning as he’d stood on the deck enjoying the sunrise, he’d crossed his fingers that nothing would happen to interrupt what seemed to be an idyllic time with Bill. All indications were things were headed in the right direction. That was until Bill had thrown him this curve ball. Now he was glad he’d been able to get away from the situation and have time to unravel the twisted ball of yarn that was his brain.

Dan had done it again. He’d worn his heart on his sleeve and thought with his heart instead of his head. He’d fallen in love with Bill, so deeply in fact that, much to his surprise, he’d told Bill to wait for him to come back home to talk about this and not asked Bill to leave as he had Steve.

This was different, Dan rationalized. Steve had betrayed him by not disclosing he was married. Bill was being honest. When he saw the direction things were headed he’d told Dan that a relationship with him came with strings attached. The question was—could Dan accept those strings?

Dan knew you could love someone without having sex; you could have sex without feeling love. But for him, love and sex were closely fused. For Dan, sex was an expression of love, and love was expressed in sex. Even that night he and Wesley had comforted each other, the sex they’d shared had elements of love that assuaged the hurt each had experienced at Rocky’s hand.

Dan tried to imagine it. He thought of Marty. Marty was young, cute, and certainly Dan found him attractive. He pictured himself having sex with him. He pictured Bill having sex with the vet tech. Both instances produced a response. However, when he thought of the three of them being together, Dan having sex with Marty while at the same time making love to Bill, the pieces didn’t fit.

Dan put these thoughts aside as he attended to a horse which had been turned out on a new pasture for the first time and had been kicked by another horse in the scuffle to determine who was dominant, The wound required a thorough cleansing and several stitches as the attacker had been shod. A shoeless horse would be less likely to inflict such damage.

On the way back home, Dan was still in a quandary. Bill would be there waiting for him. He’d want some sort of answer from Dan, and Dan still wasn’t sure what that answer would be. Did he love Bill enough to try? If he did try and found he couldn’t do it, how much hurt would that cause them both?

He pulled into his driveway, still debating with himself what to do. He noticed Bill’s mustang was gone. Had Bill answered the question for him? Dan wasn’t sure whether he felt relief or sadness at seeing the empty space where Bill’s car had been parked.

Dan entered the house to the joyful greeting he always received from his dogs. Dogs were so uncomplicated. They simply loved: totally, unconditionally. Why couldn’t humans be that simple in their love?

Dan let them out and turned to the kitchen counter. There was a note from Bill.

Hope all went well with the farm call. I will be right back. Bill. xxx

Before Dan could even try to fathom where Bill had gone, and why, he heard the man’s car pull into the drive. Dan walked to the door. Bill’s car doors opened. Bill got out, followed by Marty

* * * *

Dan stopped and stared open-mouthed. Bill came over to him, hugged him, and gave him a kiss. Dan looked over Bill’s shoulder at Marty. The young man stood in the doorway, looking as uncomfortable with the situation as Dan felt.

Bill broke their embrace, and with one arm around Dan’s waist, turned to Marty. “You guys know each other, right?”

Dan grunted a yes. Marty nodded his head.