Chapter 45 - Uncertainties

I had lost a day. When I finally appeared in Amelie's body, I realized it was a new day. I hadn't shown up the night before; why? I didn't know. It was late, a time when Amelie should have been working at Lowe's, but she wasn't. In fact, I wasn't there either. In fact, I wasn't there either. Everything was confused. I was in the apartment as if everything had been completely normalized. I was alone, for the moment. Given what we always did, either Axel or Dorian would pick me up soon to go to OWE. That day was no different. Axel was the one who picked me up.

Once in the car, I thought I'd ask him about the day before. He seemed quieter than usual. "Is everything all right?" I asked him, worried. I used to know things and only needed to confirm them, but at that moment, I didn't know anything. Lately, I hadn't been able to see the visions through Amelie, so I only needed to understand everything when we exchanged. The fact that the exchange hadn't happened the day before was puzzling me. Axel just said it was nothing. Liar. "What happened yesterday?" I asked him, wanting to know. I didn't want to have that conversation with Dorian.

"Why do you ask?" he said, without taking his eyes off the road as he drove. "I wanted to ask you that. It was strange not being with you yesterday," he mentioned. It sounded sincere. I mean, if it had been Dorian saying it, I would have doubted it, but since it was Axel, I could confirm it. Even so, the whole thing was still very strange.

"I don't know what happened; I was hoping that maybe Amelie knew," I said while waiting for him to pay me some kind of attention, but it didn't look like that was going to happen. "She hasn't said anything about it?" I asked, wanting to know, and also trying to extend the conversation.

"I don't think she cares much," he replied, still not looking at me. "I think she's happy when you don't show up," he replied. He was right; I kind of expected that kind of response from her. Amelie preferred for me to disappear, and I thought the same of her. I was sure that, in the end, one of us would disappear. Of course, I was looking forward to it being her and not me.

"I'm beginning to think it's not just her," I said, showing my dissatisfaction with how I was being treated by him. Axel wasn't very clingy or loving, but at least he always showed an interest. In fact, there were times when I needed to remind him that we weren't a couple so that he would keep his distance. Maybe it was finally working? I didn't want it anymore.

"Look, EVE, there's stuff going on, okay?" he said, finally making some eye contact. "We're just going to OWE. You'll understand everything soon enough," he said, returning his attention to the road. I decided that after that, I'd better keep quiet, or I'd end up stressing myself out. In any case, when we arrived, I was going to tuck into some good wine and do my job.

A few minutes later, we were in front of the club. Axel walked in and got ready in his security uniform. I thought about doing the same but headed for the bar. As usual, Dorian was there, washing and wiping glasses. Some guys were already drinking, while they watched the stripper show and spending their money. I sat down on one of the stools. "I want some wine, Dorian," I asked him. He stared at me, confused. "What? I want wine," I asked again, wanting him to speed things up.

"Are you really going to do that? We haven't made any decisions yet," he said as he drained a glass, staring at me. And then I was the confused person there. The day had been very strange ever since I'd shown up. What had happened the day before that I hadn't shown up?

"What are you talking about?" I asked him with confusion in my eyes. He looked even more confused. "Say it, Dorian. What's wrong?" I reinforced the question.

"You can't drink until we've decided about the baby," he finally said. And then I froze and stared. My mind went round and round until I could understand what was happening.

I remained motionless, stunned by Dorian's words. The news about a possible baby was like a wave that hit me unexpectedly, making me wonder what the hell had happened the day before. Confusion reigned, and I tried to understand how it had escaped my notice. I also wanted to know why Axel hadn't mentioned it to me. You bastard.

"A baby?" I repeated, the words coming out as an incredulous whisper. Dorian nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on mine as if trying to decipher my reaction. The silence between us was tense and heavy as I tried to process the information. "Am I pregnant? Is Amelie pregnant?" I asked, in a low tone, because I didn't want the OWE members to know.

"Axel didn't tell you? Shit," Dorian said cautiously, his expression indicating that he was perplexed by the situation. "You and he usually tell each other everything. I really thought he'd already contacted you, but it's a good thing I was here before you helped yourself," he said, relieved.

The revelation that Amelie was pregnant had really taken me by surprise. It had always been her responsibility to prevent it and take the injections. This was her fault. The exchanges were always fluid, so if I had seen things from her point of view, as I typically did, I would probably have known about them.

"Axel didn't tell me; actually, he was too pensive when we came here," I said. "Anyway, it's not as if we have to worry; after all, we won't have this child. Come on, give me my wine," I asked, signaling for him to fill his glass.

Dorian sighed, setting aside the drying glass. "EVE, it's not a decision you're going to make. We're all going to decide whether to have this child," Dorian said, as if out of patience. "Don't think that it's all just in your hands. It's not. It's great that you finally know, but that's not how it's going to be resolved," he said seriously. Likewise, it was clear to me that he was in favor of having the child.

The news of the baby hung in the air, creating a tense and charged atmosphere. Axel, still wearing his security uniform, approached, noticing the heavy atmosphere. "Is there a problem here?" he asked, noticing the conflict.

"Issue is too light a word," I muttered, looking at Dorian. "Why didn't you tell me about the pregnancy?" I asked him, visibly angry that he hadn't told me.

Axel, realizing the seriousness of the situation, remained silent, watching as Dorian and I waited for an answer. The OWE, with its loud music and vibrant lights, became the unusual setting for such a personal and crucial conversation. At that moment, I wanted to slap Axel.

"I didn't tell you anything because I was afraid you'd have an abortion without telling us," he said. "I know you would, EVE, and I'm not going to cover for you this time," he said. Then Dorian's gaze became angry, and he stared at me.

"Have you ever been pregnant, EVE?" he asked me, while also looking at Axel for answers.

Dorian's words cut through the air, and, for a moment, time seemed to freeze. The revelations, now unfolding before me, were like sharp knives, piercing my understanding and challenging my preconceived notions. Dorian's question hung in the air, weighing on me like a subtle accusation. Axel stared at me as if it were his plan for me to reveal that secret. Bastard, again.

"Yes, I was pregnant once," I muttered, my voice filled with anger at having to tell him. The memories of that time resurfaced, bringing up a complex mixture of feelings. "It was a long time ago, right when we started OWE. I was more involved with Axel, and Amelie hadn't had the injections yet. We didn't say anything, of course. I had an abortion," I said, not caring. Neither Axel nor I have ever regretted that decision. At first, I thought he would tell someone, but apparently, up to that point, no one knew. Axel looked away, his face wearing an expression of discomfort as if the situation put him on delicate ground.

"I can't believe you've kept this from me and Amelie for all this time," Dorian said, visibly disappointed. "Anyway, now is not the time for that. We're here to decide what we're going to do now. EVE, you have to understand that it's not just about you. It's about all of us. This decision affects all of us. Axel, I don't know your decision yet, but I know that I'm willing to have this child, and Amelie clearly wants it too," Dorian said.

"It's not as if I've decided to do it again," Axel interjected, trying to lighten the charged atmosphere. "I don't particularly see myself as a father, but I also can't decide something that I don't know is entirely mine. Back then, the child was mine, but now, I don't know," Axel confessed.

"So what do we do now?" I asked, looking from one face to another, seeking guidance, understanding, and perhaps even a little consolation in the confusion that was unfolding before us. "If there's that question in the air, I imagine Carbon is also an option," I mentioned.

Dorian sighed, picking up the glasses in front of him on the counter before replying. "Unfortunately, there are many involved. If I could, I wouldn't even tell him, but I think at some point Amelie would feel bad. I also know that the chances of finding out who the father is while the baby is still in the womb are complicated, which means we'd have to wait until the baby is born to find out which of the three of us is the father," Dorian said, explaining. Axel nodded in agreement.

"If you and Amelie hadn't started your sexual life, maybe we wouldn't be in this situation. And if we did, it wouldn't be a problem for Axel and me to decide what to do," I said. I wanted to make my point clear to them. The biggest stumbling blocks were Amelie and Dorian.

"That doesn't matter now, EVE. The point is to decide whether we're going to have it or not," Dorian said. "Apparently, if we were to decide by vote, the score would be tied. However, we have one more person in this story, and he doesn't know it yet." We nodded. "First, we need to think of a way to tell him, and then make the decision."

Axel stood up from the bench. "We'll talk about it later. The club is starting to fill up, so I need to go take care of security. EVE, I hope you take care and don't do anything. We'd all better get back to work and think about it later," Axel said as he said goodbye. "Stay away from each other, so you don't fight."

As Axel walked away, a wave of exhaustion and confusion washed over me. The reality of being involved in a decision that wasn't entirely mine bothered me. I, who had already experienced refusing motherhood, felt an even greater yearning to refuse this time. As well as not knowing who the father was, I couldn't say that I was the one who had conceived. Amelie took up too much of my time, and with her present most of the time, along with Dorian, it was a risk.

While the customers applauded the strippers' performances and the music pulsed through the speakers, I decided to leave the bar without taking a single sip of wine. I got ready and tried not to mention anything. Not even Cindy and Mandy would know about it. Unfortunately, the client list included Carbon, so I knew I'd have at least one real challenge that night.