Chapter 19

“Michael… Wake up.”

I shifted to lay on my side as I tried to pull the covers over my shoulder when I felt it being pulled from my hand. “No, not yet,” I mumbled.

“Yes, come on. You were supposed to wake up ten minutes ago.” Elliot said as he scruffles my hair and I opened my eyes to look at him. “We should have breakfast before we leave.”

“I’m not hungry,” I answered, running my hand over my hair as I sat up.

“No, we have a long drive if we want to make it to school on time and if you skip breakfast then you won’t eat until lunch, and knowing you, you might not even have a big lunch,” he tells me. “You're going to eat something small, at least.”

I sighed as I laid back down, “Fine.” I said and noticed Elliot watching me. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just waiting on you,” he tells me.

I sighed as I slowly got up reaching to grab my bag to change, “I’ll get ready. You can go downstairs.” I said as I made my way out to go to the restroom.

I spent a couple of minutes in the restroom getting myself ready while trying to wake up and I looked at myself in the mirror as I thought about my whole weekend. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go and, yes, there were a few good moments, but none that I were memorable. Another thing to add to my list that my disorder got in the way of living my life and there was no way to go back to change it. I sighed as I turned away from the mirror knowing that if I kept looking at myself my thoughts would get worse and began to make my way downstairs to meet everyone in the kitchen.

I looked around and only saw Elliot talking with Lily so I’m assuming my dad left to work already; just like middle school, but I was alone then. Lily was cooking eggs while Elliot was grabbing plates and I walked over to them trying to see what I can help with. Elliot and I ate while Lily begged us to return as soon as we could and after we were done helping clean up I went over to hug Lily then we made our way out of the house heading to school.

We got in the car, started making our way back to town, and we were a bit quiet as Elliot turned on the radio to listen during our drive. I pulled out my phone to send a message to my mom informing her that I was making my way to school and put it away after turning to look out the window. Maybe I’m still sleepy, but I didn’t feel so engaging this morning and I hope my mood won't affect my day. For a while, I just sat back listening to the music as I pondered on these thoughts that I had to take a small breath to pull myself together and have myself ready before we reached the school.

“Are you okay? You were quiet?” Elliot asked me as he parked his car.

“Yeah,” I answered as I reached for my backpack and turned to him. “I was just thinking.”

Elliot walked over to me and poked me on the forehead soft, “Is it something you want to talk about outloud?”

I gave him a small smile, “No, it's okay.”

“If this is something that’s bugging you then you should tell me.” He complained as we started making our way towards the building. “Or are you still thinking about everything that happened over the weekend? Because if it’s about that then maybe you're not done talking about it…”

“That’s the thing, I don’t want to talk about it.” I paused at the outside entrance of the school building and stepped to the side finding an empty bench to sit at. “All that I said to my dad still feels like my words meant nothing in a way… I understood how he felt and he tried to listen to how I felt, but I just don’t know how much of it got through to him.”

Elliot didn’t say anything as he looked down at the ground then turned to me, “Maybe it’s okay to leave it like that. Maybe you should just give up on these feelings of trying to have him understand... You already expressed how you felt and you shouldn’t have to put all this effort if you're only going to be miserable about it later on. Don’t do that to yourself because that’s just not going to make you feel any better and maybe your dad might never understand.”

I thought about this for a second before I sighed, “I guess so.” I mumbled.

Elliot reached out to console me, “Come on, cheer up.”

“I’m not that bothered,” I said as I closed my eyes taking in his warmth. Maybe I needed this.

“If you say so. I still owe you ice cream later on today” He said.

“Ice cream? You're thinking about ice cream this early in the morning?”

I looked over hearing a voice cutting in our conversation and saw Luis walking up to us. “Yeah, Elliot is buying. You want to come?”

Elliot pouted for a second, “I didn’t know I'm going to be paying for everyone.” He said.

“Only for Luis and I,” I replied as I gave him a smile.

Elliot looked at me before turning to Luis, looking defeated. “Want to come along with us after school? My treat.”

Luis chuckled, “Sure. If you don’t mind.”

I got up, getting out of Elliot’s hug, and turned to them. “Sounds like a plan.”

Elliot stood up as well. “How was your weekend?” he asked Luis.

“Alright,” Luis said as he rubbed the back of his neck and I could see a hint of blush on his cheek.

“What did you do?” I asked, curiously.

“Well, after the hangout, I spent almost the whole weekend talking with Jennifer.” He started to say and cleared his throat as if he’s unsure how to continue on from there.

“Wait, so did this get serious?” I asked him.

“Well, no, not like it’s that serious as you think but maybe we might go out when we’re free,” he answered.

“Like a date?” Elliot asked.

“Yes, but I’m not sure when I should take her out or where to take her,” Luis replied as we started walking inside the building.

“Well, I was kind of hoping for all of us to try and hang out again this weekend…” I said, beginning to feel shy about the idea after our last hangout. “I was thinking maybe going back to the arcade or something… There is a bowling alley there so maybe we can all play a few games.”

Luis looked over at me, “You're not going to be drinking or jumping into pools right?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean all that to happen.” I said as I paused for a second while we're going up the stairs. “I wasn’t thinking and I just got all caught up-”

“It’s alright. I got over it. I was just joking.” Luis said cutting me off. “Look, the idea of going out bowling isn’t a bad idea and maybe that would help me out.”

We continued going up to the second floor then stopped near our classroom door. “Alright. We can see when we should go when I tell everyone else.” I said.

“Well, I still have to go that way, I’ll see you later on during lunch or P.E.” Luis said as he slowly started walking away from us.

“See you later,” I said watching him leave then turned to Elliot and took a breath. “Can I just graduate with you this year?”

Elliot turned back to me and smiled, “And miss out your own senior year?”

“I don’t care about that. Like, going to prom with you is honestly enough for me. I don’t even have to go to mine next year.” I tell him as we start walking closer to the classroom door.

“Oh no, you're still going to your own prom,” he said, shaking his head as if disapproving my opinion.

I pouted, “Why would I go to another one if I’m already going to one?”

“Because it’s a great time of your last year of high school. I know you said that you never went to any of your school dances, but it’s just nice having the time to hang out with friends all dressed up and just spending the whole night together,” he said trying to convince me.

We entered the classroom, “Say all this again next year and see if I change my mind.” I said then moved to walk over to my desk.

Jennifer was at her seat, distracted talking with Karen, I began to look over my assignment waiting for class to start and I pulled out my textbook following along with the work that the teacher wrote on the board until I realized that there was a two-partner presentation that’ll be due in a month. I glanced over at Jennifer and wondered if she’ll join me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she does it with Karen. I looked around the room realizing that I still don’t know everyone's name or even bothered talking to them, but that’s just about the same as the rest of my other classes. I took a breath as I looked over what the project would be about deciding that I’ll worry about getting a partner later and focused on my work until the bell rang.

“Hey, Michael, sorry I was busy. How are you?” Jennifer asked as she stood up and moved closer to my desk.

“I’m good. And you?” I asked, putting my stuff away before turning to her.

“Alright. So, they said you're restricted from jumping into pools unless you're supervising.” She said, giving me a smile.

I chuckled, blushed slightly. “Oh my god, I don’t even want to talk about that. Everyone is just not going to let that go… I decided to never drink again. I shouldn’t have to begin with.”

“Did the guys intimidate you?” she asked. “I know they like to act all manly and whatnot.”

“It’s not like I was intimidated… I was just nervous.” I said getting up as we started making our way outside the classroom and I noticed that Elliot was talking to the teacher.

“You don’t have to join them if you don’t want to. They can be stupid sometimes. You're smarter compared to them,” she said, giving me a soft smile before making her way down the hall.

I watched her leave thinking about what she said when I noticed Elliot was beside me, “We should start heading to class before the bell rings.”

Elliot followed beside me while we started making our way, “Wait for me by the library during lunch?”

I nod, “Okay.”

I spent the rest of my class period engaging more on my work when I received one of my tests back that I took last week and it was good to see that I passed it with a high score. I looked over it and it felt nice that I have been doing well in my classes compared to my previous school. I was worried for a while that I would have to make up some of my classes during the summer because I’ve missed a few days when I first started school and with my transfer grades that might not be enough to cover it by the end of the semester. Time went by a lot faster that I barely noticed when the bell rang and I began to make my way to the library looking at everyone that was passing by then glanced at the ground. Stepping to the side making sure there was space between me and everyone else that was passing by feeling like I shouldn’t be in the way.

“Did you wait a long time?” I heard Elliot as he stood in front of me.

I looked up at him shaking my head, “No.”

“Alright. Let’s go get lunch,” he said as we both started making our way to the cafeteria making line with everyone else.

Elliot was telling me about his schedule for the week since he'll have to stay after school for practice, that meant Luis will be busy as well, afterwards we started making our way to the table where the group was sitting and I saw Luis talking with Jennifer on the side end of the table. I watched everyone as I picked a bit on my food and I wasn’t too sure how I felt since it was starting to bother me that people kept bringing up the pool incident, but if Luis doesn’t mind what happened then I’m sure it should be fine with everyone else. Karen was talking with Alex when I saw Fernando walking over to take a seat beside me.

“Michael! You're still alive.” Brian said as he sat across from us. “I was telling Fernando that we should see if you want to join us next time we hang out at my house.”

I looked at them pausing for a second as I thought about what he said, “You still want me over?” I asked.

“Of course. We were trying to see if we should still hang out this weekend or not since I can’t have anyone over at my place,” Brian said before turning to Fernando. “How about we chill at the park and have a game?”

I turned to them. “How about we go bowling at the arcade?” I suggested.

“I haven’t been there for a while. We can do that instead,” Fernando said then nudged at Karen who was beside him. “Hey, Michael said we should go bowling. You coming?”

“I’m down if you pay for the game,” Alex said, cutting in the conversation.

I glanced over at Elliot and he gave me a small smile. “We can do it Saturday,” I added.

Everyone agreed to the plan and our time was spent with conversations of what everyone did over the weekend. For a while, Luis and Jennifer were talking quietly to themselves until he came over to sit beside us for the rest of the time we had until the bell rang and we started making our way to our next class. I walked with Alex since we’re in the same class and once inside the classroom I suddenly came to the realization as I looked around the room. I waited until the bell rang before turning to Alex when we had a chance to talk.

“Have you seen David?” I asked her. “I haven’t seen him for a while.”

Alex looked up from her paper before looking over at where he usually sits. “Oh, I forgot about him. I heard that he got caught bullying some freshmen and that he’s suspended,” she tells me, shaking her head. “It seems like that’s true. He just doesn’t get it…”

I thought about this and it was a comforting feeling knowing that he hasn’t been around because he hasn’t been attending school, but it's sad to hear that he wasn’t just targeting me. “Sometimes people like him just don't understand the damage they cause,” I said, returning to my textbook to work out the questions.