Chapter 63 - Time to Talk - mduno
"Try to understand a little, don't judge Veronica or belittle yourself. Look at everything from other points of view."
"It's good to know." I elbowed Roland, he smiled and moved away a bit. "So it's not necessary to continue with a nurse."
"It's not necessary, really."
The doctor looked at him, then shrugged, put his hands in his pants pockets, his eyes looked at me with sadness. What could be going through his mind?
"Thank you for everything, doctor."
My boyfriend accompanied him to the door. I went to the kitchen to prepare dinner, I saw him sit on the other side of the counter, analyzing me from that point, nerves took over me. I prepared crepes, set the plates on the counter.
"What's wrong, Veronica?"
He understood the looks I gave him while cooking, he was doing something on his computer.
"Nothing... And you?"
He shook his head, closed the laptop, picked up the cutlery, and started eating. I sighed, it seemed he wouldn't say anything. We ate in silence, he seemed uncomfortable, something was up. While washing the dishes, the stabbing pain returned to my chest.
I caught him looking at me, he quickly looked away. D'Artagnan, as usual, sat next to Roland whenever he could. I leaned in to kiss him, afraid of being rejected, but that wasn't his reaction. It was different, we kissed as if we had never done it before, we needed each other desperately, it was hard to breathe, the kitchen counter was enough. Little by little, the kiss normalized.
"I love you."
"You need to rest."
His comment was a slap, I tried to hide my urge to cry. He took his cell phone.
"Aren't you staying?" His phone rang.
"What's up, Rat?" His tone showed his displeasure at the call from his second-in-command. "What!"
I raised an eyebrow, left the kitchen, went upstairs, locked myself in the bedroom, there was nothing left but to go to sleep. He had to go. I grabbed the first comfortable clothes I found in the closet, then went to the bathroom to change. As soon as I closed the door, the tears came. You must know how to face the situation, clarify what you're imagining. I sighed before going out.
"You're still here," I said, seeing him waiting by the bed.
"I have to go, a... rather complicated situation came up."
"Can I know?" Once again, that look of sadness, then his coldness, which hurt even more.
"Veronica." He approached. "You'll never know anything about the world that almost took you away from me again, and I don't give a damn if you like my answer or not. You'll never put yourself in danger again." I smiled, you matter to him, silly. "What makes you laugh?"
"It's just..."
"Veronicaaa." His call sounded like a scolding.
"It's just." I sighed, he approached. "It's silly, love."
"What?" I hated how he forced me to talk.
"Do you still love me?" I looked down, feeling the heat in my cheeks.
"Listen to me very well, miss." He was still looking at the floor. "You're the only important thing in my life, don't forget that. I'm not one to repeat words, you should be used to it by now."
"Certain words are important to hear, there are words that need to be said constantly and shown." My eyes welled up.
"You know... I'm different, I've always made that clear from the start. I'm a different world." He wiped the tears from my eyes. "You don't have to cry."
"Are you coming back?" He shook his head.
"We'll talk another day. Beautiful." My heart tells me something is very wrong.
"Finally, you call me that again." My comment made him angry.
"It's clear you want to fight and believe me, I don't."
He kissed me as if he didn't want to, as if he was forcing himself. He kissed my nose and gave me a long kiss on the forehead. That gesture was worse for my ego. He doesn't want to stay with me. "And don't think silly thoughts." He left.
My only night companion during the past week had been D'Artagnan, my loyal and beautiful dog. Raul visited me four times. Roland came every day, we went out for lunch, to the movies, and due to his work as a boss, many issues arose at night. He didn't sleep in the apartment anymore. Our conversations were limited to trivialities that only widened the gap between us, and every day it grew more and more.
We lived in uncomfortable silence. He would come to the apartment, avoid staying in the same place alone with me. He seemed more relaxed when Raul, Simon, or Onion were with us. The moment we were alone, work issues would come up, an unexpected call from someone, and he had to leave urgently. He hadn't touched me again, he wasn't the same. I saw him very thoughtful, regretting something. He looked at me with nostalgia.
"Now tell me, what's wrong, Vero?"
Raul entered the balcony, I spent a lot of time there with D'Artagnan by my side, sitting on the recliner.
"Did you get here long ago?" I had given him a copy of the apartment keys.
"Long enough to notice you're on the verge of tears." He smiled at me, he knows me. "What's wrong?" He sat down on the bench next to me.
"Something's wrong with Roland. He says nothing is, but I know..."
"Why do you say that?"
"He doesn't want to be alone with me. More than that, he doesn't want to touch me."
"So, nothing at all yet?"
I shook my head. My friend sighed and raised one of his eyebrows, then his eyes sparkled.
"What are you thinking?"
"Maybe he feels a bit guilty. Let him know how willing you are, you know."
He made those gestures he only does to imply bedroom activities. I thought it was a great idea.
"And what should I do?"
"Let's get you looking killer." He checked the time. "It's nine in the morning. Call him and invite him to dinner tonight."
He helped me up from the chair. D'Artagnan ran off to his house to keep sleeping.
"Where are we going now, Skinny?"
"You, call Roland, invite him, then we'll go to the spa, hair salon, buy some seductive clothes. I'll have just enough time to help you with the romantic dinner."
"What!" I couldn't stop laughing, it was an excellent idea.
"We're going to knock out a kingpin."
At the mall, we bought a daring robe, a black trench coat. To Roland's eyes, I would appear dressed. The idea was to throw him off balance. I would wear a vulgar Brazilian thong which was disrespectful and cost a fortune.
Raúl wanted me completely naked, to which I flatly refused. It still hurt to think about the amount paid for those three thin strips of elastic, which wouldn't cover any of my shame. The robe would reach just to the start of the underwear. We bought some knee-high boots with heels, gorgeous.
We got to the spa before noon; they did waxing, a massage with aphrodisiac oils, styled my hair, did my nails, and I let Skinny do whatever he thought of. By four in the afternoon, we entered the apartment and he took over the kitchen. I set the table, placed the two plates, glasses, wine. I started to get nervous. I picked up the phone.
"Hi, love."
"Hi, Beautiful." I smiled like an idiot.
"Roland, I know you're very busy, and I'd like us to have dinner tonight."
"Where?" His tone was tense.
"At the apartment." He stayed silent for longer than necessary. "Are you busy, or don't you want to come?" I choked back tears.
"I have an important visit."
"Okay." My voice broke. "No problem. Another day."
"I didn't say I wouldn't come, I just have a couple of hours, Veronica. I understand we haven't seen each other much." I heard him sigh. "Things are complicated."
"What time will you get here?" I wanted to scream at him not to come, but I needed to talk to him and close the gap between us. I swallowed the urge to scream.
"How about seven?" He sounded obligated.
"Roland, if you can't... I already said, no problem."
"I'll be there at seven."
He spoke firmly and ended the call. I stared at the phone for a while. Raúl came into my room.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I hope all this is worth something. I don't want to make a fool of myself."
"Vero, one thing I'm sure of, that man loves you. My doubt disappeared when I saw him suffer during the days you almost died. Give him the benefit of the doubt, he needs to put his network in order. I know from Onion that things are heating up." I sighed.
"I'm going to get ready, he'll be here in an hour."
Seeing myself dressed in front of the mirror was daring, I felt a bit uncomfortable, I was naked. I put on the boots and the trench coat. With it on, it was a different story. It hid the nudity.
Raúl left twenty minutes before Roland's arrival, who, as always, was punctual. When he saw me, he smiled. He seemed pleased. I can't deny the nerves, he arrived looking very casual, black jeans, a gray t-shirt, and a wool jacket. I sighed. He didn't look like the mastermind of a drug trafficking network. Does he ever dress badly? He kissed me on the lips and pulled away too soon.
"You look beautiful, I'm not that elegant." I bit my lower lip. "What's the special occasion?"
He smiled, and with his attention to detail, I imagine he noticed the candles lit on the table.
"It's time we spent some time alone." He clenched his fists, and I felt a rush in my chest. "Sit down."
I headed to the kitchen, he sat at the dining table, started typing on his phone. No matter what he says, something was different. I took the dinner out of the oven. What Raúl had prepared smelled delicious, in a couple of hours he had organized an exquisite dinner. Baked meat in a sweet and sour sauce, mashed potatoes, and a delicious green salad. He quickly put away his phone when he saw me coming. What is he hiding from me?