Chapter 61 Spilling the beans.

Chapter 61 Spilling the beans.
Laramie:

Noah spun around on his heel, fire in his eyes, ready to storm off after Ethan - wherever he might have been - and confront him.

I lunged forward and grabbed onto Noah's arm, holding him back with all my might. Tears welled up in my eyes. My heart was beating so fast that it felt like it might rip my chest in two.

"Noah, stop! Please, just wait?"

Noah turned his head to look at me.

"What for, Laramie?"

This wasn't happenening. God, this wasn't happening. How the hell did I end up here? How did it all go wrong so fast? It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Just let me explain."

"Explain what? How that bastard put his hands on you? Choked you? Abused you? There's nothing to explain. Jesus, Laramie."

His words cut like a thousand tiny blades. They were true - I knew that they were. I knew exactly what Ethan had done, but hearing someone else say it out loud somehow made it real. Like I couldn't hide from it anymore. I couldn't deny what had happened. The truth was staring me right in the face and I didn't like the way it looked.

"Please, Noah? I'm begging you."

My voice cracked, sounding small, broken and miserably desperate.

The fire burning in Noah's eyes seemed to dissipate somewhat, his jaw relaxed slightly, and his features softened enough that he looked like himself again - not some mad-man on a hero's mission to safe my honor.

I could feel a liitle bit of the tension easing from his body as his shoulders slumped and he turned his body around to face me fully. He pulled his harm out of my hand and I let it fall limply to my side.

"I'm listening." He said in a tight dangerously low voice.

I took a deep, staggering breath. I wasn't ready to talk about any of this - I didn't know if I ever would be, but Noah wasn't giving me any other choice. The only thing I could do was man-up, scrape together some courage and hopefully a little dignity, and tell Noah the truth.

Well, at least the parts that he needed to know.

"It happened last night. He lost control of himself - he's never done it before."

Noah dragged his hand through his hair again, cutting his eyes in my direction.

"Is that supposed to make it okay?"

"No, of course not. Nothing is supposed to make it okay because it's not. I'm just telling you what happened."

Noah didn't respond. He just stared at me with a strange look on his face.

I felt utterly exposed - like my skin had been ripped from my bones leaving every nerve ending raw. I hated the way that Noah was looking at me. Hated the thought of what he must think of me.

Hated that things ended up like this.

"It doesn't matter anyway. It's over... me and Ethan... it's over between us."

I knew it the second I stormed out of his apartment the night before - knew that there was no other way, no going back, but hearing myself say it out loud for the first time still felt like a punch to the gut. The words made my chest constrict painfully and it felt like all the air had been forced from my lungs.

Noah raised both his brows and folded his arms over his chest.

"Is it?" He sounded skeptical.

I couldn't look at him anymore. I couldn't stand the way he was looking at me - the disappointment in his eyes was more than I could bare. All I wanted was for this horrible moment to end. I kept hoping that this was all just some awful nightmare and that I would wake up on my dad's sofa.

"Yes." I whispered, my voice barely even audible.

"It was stupid." I continued. "It never should have happened. I was a fool for getting involved with him in the first place... it was a mistake. But it really is over. I won't see him in that way ever again."

I bit back the traitorous tears that threatened to spill over. I simply refused to cry over Ethan in front of Noah. I've already given him more than I wanted to and that was all he was getting.

"Laramie..." Noah began, stepping toward me, reaching out a hand.

I took a step back without even realising it - I didn't think that I could take Noah's kindness right then. It might have broken me completely.

"Please, Noah. You can't tell anyone about this."

He pulled his hand back and stared at me with a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

"Laramie, he hurt you. You can't expect me to do nothing. What he did to you wasn't right and he needs to pay for that."

"Noah, you don't understand. If this gets out -any of this, it won't just affect Ethan. It'll affect me and my dad - he could lose his job over this. I could get expelled. Please, Noah. No one can know about this. You have to promise me that you won't say anything to anyone about this."

"Laramie... I don't know... I..."

"Please?"

I was beginning to feel more and more desperate. Like the walls were closing in around me. Like it was all about to come crashing down around me.

Noah took another step toward me, his hands raised in front of him like he was dealing with a trapped and injured animal. His voice was low and cautious.

"We can figure something out - together. We can go to my mother and tell her what he did to you, we can tell her that he manipulated you into having a relationship with him and that he's been abusing you. We can try to find a way to keep you and your father out of this. My mother will understand. I'm sure of it."

"What!? No, Noah! That's crazy! You have to realize how crazy that sounds - we can't go to your mother about any of this."

"Laramie, you've got to stop protecting him! He doesn't deserve it."

I threw my hands up hopelessly.

"I'm not protecting him, Noah! God, you don't understand!"

"Then explain it to me, Laramie. Make me understand."

"Ethan wasn't manipulating me - he didn't force me into anything."

"Then what, Laramie? I he wasn't manipulating you, then why else would you even get involved with one of your professors in the first place?"

"Because I love him, Noah! That's why!"