Chapter 60 An unconvincing lie.

Chapter 60 An unconvincing lie.
Laramie:

I looked around the crowd of students still staring at us nervously. As if for the first time, Noah noticed all of them too and led me away so that we were standing alone, beneath a large tree with low hanging branches - giving the impression that we were hidden away from the rest of the campus - alone, just the two of us.

"Tell me the truth, Laramie."

Noah was still holding onto my arm. His face no longer held any of the softness it usually possessed, nor did it show any of his boyish charm. Instead, the lines of his face were hard, his eyes bore into me like they already knew the truth, and his usually plump mouth was drawn into an unnervingly thin white line.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Noah. It was nothing... really."

Luckily, my voice sounded a lot more certain than I actually felt. Because honestly, my stomach felt like it had turned upside down, I had a massive lump in my throat, and my legs felt like they were made of jelly.

Noah's jaw clenched as he stared down at me, his grip around my arm tightened slightly.

"Stop lying to me. You and Zoey were fighting about Professor James. I heard you."

"That's ridiculous, Noah. Why would we be fighting about our professor?"

Colour rushed to my cheeks immediately. Noah's expression remained unchanged. There was no way he was letting this go.

"Dammit, Laramie! Is he the guy you've been seeing? Is that what all of this is about?"

My world stopped and began spinning way too fast all at the same time - I suddenly felt very dizzy and very hot, like I needed to take some of my clothes off. Like I desperately needed to create some distance between Noah and me. I yanked my arm out of his grip and took a big step back.

"What?" I laughed nervously, tugging awkwardly at my scarf.

I could see the truth dawning behind Noah's eyes. He knew - I didn't have to say anything because Noah knew. I didn't know how and I didn't know for how long, but he knew.

That's the only thing that mattered.

"Deny it." I hear a little voice in the back of my mind say.

"No. Of course not."

Noah just stared at me.

"Do a better job." The same little voice scolded.

"That's crazy. Why would you even think that? Romantic relationships between teachers and students aren't allowed. I would never get myself involved in something like that - you should know that, Noah."

I tugged at my scarf again, feeling like my blood was boiling. I could feel sweat pooling between my armpits and running all the way down my spine. Noah didn't have the look of someone that was convinced by anything that I was saying. Instead, a deep frown drew his brows together and his eyes narrowed to tiny little slits.

Better than that, Laramie." That same little voice sounded up again, more adamant this time.

"I could get expelled - my father could lose his job. Noah... I would never..."

My voice began to fade along with the rest of my resolve. It was astonishingly clear to me that Noah didn't believe a single word that was coming out of my mouth and that I was just making things worse by trying to lie to him.

Noah didn't believe my lie simply because I didn't believe it.

All of a sudden, Noah's face went pale, the colour draining so fast that it made my head spin. He dragged his hands through his hair in an exasperated fashion as he took a few steps back.

"Jesus, Laramie. Do you have any idea how bad this is?"

His voice was hoarse and loaded with emotion. His bright eyes gleamed in the pale background of his face.

But the thing that hit me the hardest was the look of disappointment that fell over his face the longer he looked at me - not anger, not jealousy - disappointment.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do.

I just stood there, staring up at him like some kind of mute idiot, hanging onto the edges of my scarf like they were some sort of lifeline that could save me from this horrible situation.

"Of course you do." Noah sighed, dropping his hands to his waist and resting them on his hips. He began to pace the small, covered area beneath the tree. "You just told me all the reasons why it would be wrong. And yet, you're still doing it. I really thought that you were smarter than that, Laramie."

I was more grateful than ever for the little bit of cover that the branches provided. I already felt mortified - I did not need an audience to my shame and embarrassment.

"Noah... I... I don't... Noah... it's just that.... I."

I had no idea what to say. Nothing seemed appropriate enough to explain to him what was going on. I guess I should have taken some time to come up with some sort of explanation to give to people just in case someone ever found out, but I was so sure that no one ever would. And suddenly, telling Noah that I met Ethan in a college bar the day before classes started and that we hooked up in the bathroom, and that I just couldn't stay away from him after that sounded like a pathetic joke.

In fact, I sounded a little pathetic to myself.

Then -

Noah stopped pacing and turned to look at me. Our eyes met and for a split-second, his features softened and some of the colour returned to his face.

He didn't look so disappointed anymore - he looked a little sad for me.

But then something caught his eye, and he clenched his jaw so tight that I could almost hear his teeth grinding on top of each other. Noah rushed toward me and before I realized what was happening, he pulled my scarf off around my neck and stared in disbelief.

Without realizing, I exposed the bruises left by Ethan with all my tugging and pulling. I tried to reach for my scarf and pull it out of Noah's hand, but he yanked his arm back and found my eyes again.

I've never seen someone's eyes look the way Noah's eyes looked right then. The way that he was looking at me made me want to retreat into myself - made me want to disappear.

"Did he do that to you?"

His voice was low, yet it sounded loud and intrusive anyway.

I didn't want to answer him.

I didn't want to be here anymore.

I wanted to run away.

"Laramie, I..."

"Noah, it's not what you think."

"It's not!? Then what the hell is it, Laramie?"

I felt stupid for saying that. It felt like I was defending Ethan... and I wasn't.

Was I?

"Noah, please? Just let it go."

"Let it go? Let... it... go? Are you being serious right now?"

I just stared at him.

"That motherf... just wait till I get..."