SIXTY ONE

I look into his eyes and wait for a moment to come to open my mouth to tell him everything. I don't know where to start or what words should I use so he won't be offended. I gulped and started opening my mouth.

"What Wayang had said is true, I am cursed. Cursed to become an ugly person and to live for eternal. That means, I have lived here for thousands of years already and Wayang is a witch who always helps me with everything."

I saw his forehead furrowed by what he had heard. He is confused and it can be in his facial expression that he can't process everything that I told him. "So, you mean you have been living on Earth for thousands of years? Are you that old enough? That is ridiculous! Are you joking with me, Charlotte?"

I knew it, he wouldn't believe me.

"Am I joking with you right now, Karsen? All of it was true, you can ask about it to Kalsey! She knows about this because she has been talking with my best friend, her ancestor! And now they are plotting to do something bad again between us! Hear me out, please? I am not joking right now!"

He shut up after I shouted. He tried calming himself. "I thought you would understand. I thought you would listen, why are you saying this to me now? You're making me crazy— look at yourself now, Karsen. You are looking at me as if I have some mental illness! If all of it weren't true why and how did you encounter Kalsey a few days ago, huh!?"

He bowed his head and squeezed my hands. My eyes again started crying for what he had done earlier. Ridiculous? Does he think I am joking? What the heck? The hell would I be joking right now!?

"I am sorry, please continue. I'll listen to everything first." His voice. It is cold, why? How could I continue speaking if he was like that? This is not Karsen. But since he told me to continue, I started speaking again.

"A-and." My voice began to stammered. I am feeling pain inside my chest and I am trying my best not to cry. I looked up and started speaking. "And, Kalsey is my best friend's descendant. I don't know if it's true but I am sure of it that you are the reincarnation soul of Karius Del Valle. Your ancestor, Karsen. You are the person that Kalsey loved before and the person whom I also love. You are my love, Karius."

He lifts his head with his eyes wide in surprise. "And, to break the curse I needed you, Karsen. I needed you to love me—" I wasn't able to finish what I had said when he spoke.

"Are you saying to me that is why you love me because I am Karius? Do you think I am Karius Del Valle? And what? You needed me to love you for what? To break the curse? Are you using me Charlotte for your own?" I shook my head in response and held his hand but he slowly took it off my grip and looked me in the eyes causing me to be surprised.

"Continue." That cold gaze, the voice. It was echoing in my mind. How could I forget that cold stare of him? Why does it hurt so bad? It was tearing my heart and soul apart. The Karsen that I knew wouldn't do this. Why?

"It doesn't mean I am only using you Karsen. I really love you, and my feelings for you were true. It's just that time was the time that I badly want you to love me back. I wanted to be free from my curse. To do that, you have to sacrifice your life so I could be free but now, I don't want it anymore Karsen! However, if I won't let you do that, Kalsey will continue to reincarnate your soul, forever and that is the worst! I don't want you to feel what I am feeling now.

"I don't want you to suffer either just like how I suffered up until now by living forever. Your soul will be exhausted because of the reincarnation, and I don't want it either. I don't want you and Kalsey to be together. I am selfish I know but, I love you Karsen. I don't want anyone to love you."

I was looking at his eyes but while looking, his eyes were still cold as ice. It was like he was piercing and stabbing me by looking at me. I am trembling. I know what he gonna say to me. I know that he is mad, he doesn't like what he has heard now.

"I don't know, Charlotte. I didn't think you were like that. I thought you were good, I really can say that you are insane." My eyes widen even more. "Free you from the curse? Sacrifice my life? You are just saying that in the beginning, your only intention is to use me, to use me so you could be free from the curse. You are taking advantage of all of it."

"Like what I said—"

"Hush, don't give me any reason it can't justify your actions are innocent. You are using me, Charlotte and I couldn't help but pity myself."

I am crying right now. This is the first time that we fought. We are fighting for something very serious. Without a word he stood up and left me here, crying while sitting on his couch. I covered my eyes with my hands while remembering how cold his gaze was.

"Don't find me, I needed space to think, Charlotte. Don't wait for me, I don't know if I will be back tonight."

After he said that, he completely left me here in his room. He left me crying and I can't help but touch my heart for feeling the most heartbreaking moment in my life. That is why I am scared of saying everything. I am scared of losing him and what happened today made me realize that not everyone who loves you will continue to love and understand you.