Chapter 12

That evening, feeling tired but happy, Amanda sat on the lounge reading and browsing through her e-reader. She would visit the movie theater tomorrow and the day after that...

Well, she would have to think about that, why hadn't she thought about going out sooner, it would surely make her stop thinking about Xavier.

She heard a familiar heavy footfall and looked up to see Xavier leaning against the door frame. A shiver of foreboding slithered down her spine. He looked furious.

He strode in.

"Mind telling me what you've been up to"

Amanda frowned. "What are you..."

"Don't play dumb with me, for someone who has cramps, you sure had the power to indulge in an eating contest, didn't you know you were making a fool out of yourself, even if I had taken down that video, people will still talk about it" He yelled.

Amanda swallowed. The least of the things she expected was that she was being recorded. Was it a crime for a billionaire’s wife to have fun?

"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry? You were making a mockery of yourself and this marriage. Whether you like it or not, you are from a certain part of society and you would do well to remember that you have a responsibility to me as well as yourself. Your image will be scrutinized by everyone in our social circle, your every movement analyzed. And mine by proxy. I'm always involved in delicate negotiations. I can't afford to have a loose cannon for a wife"

Xavier heard the words coming out of his mouth and a part of him winced inwardly, he sounded like a pompous snob, but he couldn't stop himself. His inarticulate need to control her was too strong. Her behavior today had brought up far too many conflicting emotions for him to deal with. And he couldn't think straight when she was in front of him like this.

She had seemed so happy in the video, like a caged bird who was finally free. He didn't want her to feel that way. He wanted her to be happy like that inside this house too.

"It's boring being your wife," she muttered.

And the feeling those words gave him was indescribable. He didn't want those words to get to him, but they already did.

"From now on, I'll be sure to be appropriately attired every day and remember my Ps and Qs and not to think for myself again. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed, I've lost my appetite"

She walked out of the room and Xavier sat down on the sofa, arms resting on his knees.

Why wouldn't she stop crumbling his resolve of self-protection? He didn't want to be weak and vulnerable as he had been all those years before, when Selena had nearly destroyed him.

One thing he had to admit made a curious form of dread trickle through him...when he'd believed himself to be in love with Selena, he didn't really care about her opinion of him or what she really wanted, he didn't want to make her...

His phone rang disrupting his thoughts. He sighed staring at the caller's ID. It was his father.

He picked up.

"What is wrong with your wife?" Cesario yelled.

Xavier pulled the phone away from his ear for a while so that he wouldn't go deaf.

"I've taken the video off the internet..."

"Will that change anything? I thought she was classy. Put her on the phone. Let me remind her whose daughter-in-law she is."

Xavier froze. Knowing his father too well, he would say all kinds of things to her until she cried. Just thinking about her cheeks stained with tears hurt a great deal.

"She won't do anything like that again, you don't have to worry." With that, he hung up.

"It's boring being your wife."

Her words reeled through his head.

He leaned back against the sofa. His mother hardly smiled except on social outings, but at home, she would look as if she was going to her own funeral. He didn't want his wife to live a life like his mother's. He recalled how she would squeal and smiled while they went horse riding. She would think she was winning when he had only let her take the lead.

He wanted a happy wife. He had misjudged her; she wasn't like her peers who derived joy from material things.

Just what the hell makes her happy?

Wearily, he stood up and went to find a maid to take some food up to her room, even if she was upset, he knew she didn't joke with food.

Amanda stared at her phone, Isobel was calling, she looked away, she wasn't ready for another round of tongue-lashing. But when the ringing continued, she glanced at it and realized that it was Miguel this time.

She quickly picked up.

"The great waffle eater," Miguel teased, laughing.

Amanda laughed too... happy that he wasn't angry at her.

"Your mother is pissed as heck. She's going nuts that you aren't picking up her calls. I advise that you continue to ignore her till her anger subsides."

"I missed my life Miguel. I was free and could do anything I wanted to do; I wasn't monitored by unknown people. I hate this life."

Miguel smirked; he was glad that she did. "I'm not giving up on my search for Alisha, very soon, you would leave that house," he assured.

Amanda sighed. When was that soon going to be?

Towards noon, the following day Amanda was watching TV in her bedroom. When she had gone down for breakfast that morning, she was told Xavier had left already, she was relieved that she wouldn't have to put up with him. She was famished even if she had eaten the dinner sent up to her bedroom, she felt as if she hadn't eaten for days, she ate a lot and ate Xavier's meal too which he hardly touched, she noticed he hardly ate, he only finished his cup of coffee and at times glasses of whiskey but was that enough to live with? Was he too busy to eat?

As for her, food was something she didn't play with at all.

A knock sounded on the door.

"Come in"

A maid walked in.

"Sir Xavier's driver called. He's hospitalized."

Amanda froze. He didn't look sick yesterday. "Do you know what happened to him?"

"He said Sir Xavier passed out during a meeting."

"What?"

"For the umpteenth time, what is wrong with you and your wife?" Cesario yelled.

Xavier sighed, sitting up and staring everywhere else except his father.

"Imagine if I hadn't promised to add something to the employees’ salaries. If this had gotten to the press, the headline of the new tabloids would be, 'A billionaire suffering from malnutrition."

"I'm sorry..."

"Just get your acts together, Xavier. I thought that woman would make a perfect bride for you but it seems you're getting too careless with yourself, just yesterday she was among in an eating contest scandal and now this, she doesn't even know how to take care of you, I really need to see that woman and talk sense into her head."

Xavier silently prayed that she was at home, his prayers probably didn't get to the ceiling when the doorknob bent, and she walked in.

Amanda froze seeing the livid look Cesario was giving her.

"Since you don't know how to get your wife under your control, I'll help you," Cesario growled advancing towards her.

Xavier quickly tore off the drip from his hand.

Cesario lifted up his hand to hit her. Frantically, she shut her eyes.

"Don't touch my wife!" Xavier's angry voice made her eyes snap open to see him holding Cesario's wrist.

At that moment, she felt like his wife.

Cesario yanked his hand away.

"I thought I' taught you well enough not to appear weak in front of a woman?"

"I'm not weak! I don't have to hit my woman to tell her what's right or wrong. No woman deserves that. And this isn't her fault."

"Xavier..."

"I don't care if it's normal for you to hit your wife, but I won't let you lay a finger on mine."

For some tense seconds, both men stared at each other angrily, Cesario was slightly scared at this murderous look his son was giving him.

He glanced at Amanda then walked away.

Xavier slowly sat on the bed.

"I'm sorry about that. You must've been startled"

Startled? She didn't even know how she felt. But she definitely felt protected... fervently protected.

And now, seeing him looking so stressed made her feel guilty, she knew for a fact that he cared about her but because she wasn't his real bride, she had retreated herself from paying too much attention to him, she had known he hardly ate but didn't even bother to coax him to see reasons why eating was important than any other thing.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, concerned.

"I'm okay. The doctor said I just need a lot of rest..."

"And food"

He snickered. "I had almost forgot that I have a food maniac as a wife."

She chuckled. "This food maniac can never be diagnosed of malnutrition."

"Are you really concerned about me, Alisha?" He asked, not wanting to hear her reply. He added. "Can you please get me a doctor?" He gestured to his drip.

She nodded and walked away.

"It's getting late. You should go home now," Xavier announced.

Amanda lifted up her head to look at him, was it strange that she didn't want to leave him all alone?

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

Xavier grimaced. Why was she suddenly concerned about him? She had practically made him finish his dinner all the while telling him stories of all the eating contests she had indulged in college, he was laughing all through and he couldn't believe he found her obnoxious eating contest extremely funny.

"If you're scared that my father might try to hit you again for not caring about me, please don't be. I won't let him touch you so..."

"I just want to stay with you tonight, you see, I hate being alone when I'm sick, I won't talk too much again, just let me stay with you"

Xavier's chest felt tight with the way she was looking at him. Her gaze was so... penetrating and full of some undefinable emotion. Something was rising within him and he wondered just how much longer he could fight it.

"I'm not sick," He corrected. "If you want to stay with me tonight, I can't let you sleep on the couch, you might wake up with a stiff neck"

"Where should I sleep then?"

He patted the space beside him and saw her eyes widened.

He arched an incredulous brow. "Stop thinking about that. Do you really think I would consummate our marriage in a hospital bed?"

She swallowed.

"Come on," he urged.

She timidly walked up to the bed and lay down beside him. She stared at the ceiling but could sense that he was staring at her.

"You once asked me if I’ve ever been serious with a woman before," he began.

She turned to face him.

"I did. She was called Selena Perez. We met in college; I gave her everything she asked for...money... clothes... I took her to places she wanted to go all over the world. I thought she loved me, and I foolishly wanted to do everything to make her happy. She found out about my arranged marriage to you and as expected, she was hurt. I promised to call off the agreement. I approached my father, but he threatened to take everything away from me if I went against him. I wasn't scared of that threat because I could get back to my feet again. I told her about it, and she started acting up... I thought maybe she was scared that I might give up on her, so I bought a ring. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I wanted to prove to her that she meant so much to me, but she turned me down and told me she was engaged to a rich Greek business tycoon."

His mouth thinned into a bitter line.

Amanda felt sad for him, she had never thought that he had loved a woman so passionately before and something which curiously felt like jealousy ripped through her chest.

"Recently, when I think back to what Selena and I shared, I wonder if it was really love. My experience with her made me bitter and cynical, I shut down my emotions, didn't want anyone to fool me into believing that I was in love but each time I see you...you keep crawling into my heart, you're affecting me, terribly"

Her heart melted, was it okay to feel this way?

His thumb flexed on her cheeks, could she ever get used to the waves of aching weakness she experienced whenever he touched her?

"From now on, let's do everything you want to do. I don't want you to live a boring life with me, let's do everything that makes you happy... including eating contest but not in public though, I could be your opponent at home"

Amanda giggled just picturing that in her head. She stared at the broad grin on his face full of sexuality and fantasy, his dark golden eyes dancing with amusement and hot pink drenched her cheeks.

He reached down for the covers and tucked them in. She didn't know if it was the drugs that was making him like this, but her heartbeat was out of control when he muttered in Italian.

"I miei sensi sono pieni di te." (my senses are filled with you).