Chapter 78 Almost again

Chapter 78 Almost again

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Neither of them moved.
The gym seemed to contract around them, the silence thickening into something sharp and electric.
Elowen could feel every point of contact with excruciating clarity.
And judging by the way Lucian’s chest rose and fell, he wasn’t faring much better.
For one suspended heartbeat, neither of them seemed capable of remembering how to exist outside this moment.
Then reality crashed back in.
“Let go.”
The words came out softer than she intended which somehow made them more dangerous.
Lucian’s jaw tightened, he didn’t want to but his fingers loosened immediately yet, he didn’t step back and neither did she.
The narrow strip of space between them remained charged with everything neither of them had the courage or perhaps the recklessness to acknowledge.
“Elowen.” Her name came out low again and the sound sent heat crawling up her spine as goosebumps made their way around every part of her body.
She forced herself to straighten as well as to gather what remained of her already scattered and messy composure.
“This.. this has to stop.”
The second the words left her mouth, something shuttered behind Lucian’s eyes.
“Which part?” His voice was calm and it made her pulse kick painfully.
“This.” She gestured vaguely between them, immediately hating how inadequate the motion felt. “This… whatever this is.”
Lucian studied her face with that unnerving intensity that always made her feel transparent.
“And what exactly is this?”
She hated the question because she had no answer.. No clean, manageable label she could slap onto the chaos knotting itself tighter in her chest.
Because what was this?
It wasn’t just a simple attraction, at least not anymore.
It wasn’t just the involuntary pull of chemistry.. That would have been easier.
This had become something heavier.. Something threaded through weeks of shared silences and fractured confessions, through quiet understanding and reluctant trust, through every moment he had looked at her as though he saw all the pieces she kept hidden and had chosen not to turn away.. And that terrified her.
So instead of answering honestly, she did what she always did when cornered.
She reached for anger. “You keep crossing lines.”
Lucian’s expression darkened. “Crossing lines?”
“Yes.”
“The hospital?”
“Yes.”
His gaze sharpened. “I paid because your brother needed care.”
“That wasn’t your decision.”
“No,” he agreed quietly. “It was mine.”
The bluntness of it hit her like a slap and her composure cracked just a little. “Why can’t you just listen to me?”
The strain in her voice surprised even her and Lucian’s face shifted instantly.
“Elowen.”
“No.” She stepped back at last, dragging in a shaky breath. “You don’t get to keep deciding what’s best for me.”
His eyes followed her every movement. “And you don’t get to keep pretending you’re fine when you’re drowning.”
The quiet certainty in his voice shattered the last fragile edge of her restraint.
“I am not.. drowning.”
The lie rang hollow.
They both heard it.
Lucian’s gaze didn’t waver. “Yes, you are.”
Her throat tightened because the awful part was that he wasn’t wrong and she hated him for seeing it.. Hated herself even more for wanting him to.
She laughed bitterly. “Of course you’d know all about being rescued, wouldn’t you?”
The second the words left her mouth, regret hit and Lucian physically flinched while guilt twisted sharply through her.
His expression closed instantly. “That was unfair.”
She swallowed hard. “Yes.”
The apology sat heavy on her tongue but before she could force it out, Lucian spoke again and his voice was a bit quieter now.
“Do you know why I paid those bills?”
She looked away. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“That’s not an answer.”
Her chest tightened. “Lucian.. ”
“No.” This time, his interruption carried steel not anger and he stepped towards her again as if he was approaching something fragile enough to shatter.
“You had asked me why I care.”
Her pulse stuttered and he stopped just in front of her but now he was so close that she had to tilt her chin slightly to meet his eyes and when she did, the raw honesty there nearly stole her breath.
“I care because I can’t stand watching you suffer.”
The words landed hard.. For a second, the world seemed to still.
Lucian held her gaze. “I can’t stand seeing you break yourself apart trying to carry everything alone.” His voice dropped lower. “And maybe that’s selfish.”
The next words came slower as if it was being dragged out of him against his better judgment.
“But I needed to do something because standing there and watching you hurt feels impossible now.”
Her composure fractured completely as something sharp and aching cracked open inside her chest.
No one had ever said anything like that to her, no one had ever looked at her struggle and spoken of it like it mattered.. Like she mattered.
The realization made her eyes sting and she looked down quickly but Lucian’s fingers lifted to her chin and tilted her face back toward his.
“Elowen.”
Her name sounded wrecked in his mouth making her breath hitch and every rational thought in her head scattered.. All she could focus on was the warmth of his fingertips against her skin and the way his thumb brushed lightly along her jaw.
Slowly, his gaze dropped to her mouth and this time.. he didn’t look away.
Elowen’s heart pounded so violently she thought it might split her ribs apart.
She should move but her body refused to obey especially as Lucian leaned closer slowly and calmly so as to give her enough possible chance and space  to stop him.
His breath ghosted over her lips and God.. she wanted it.
The realization hit with devastating force.
She wanted this… She wanted him to actually kiss her and the terrifying truth of it sent panic surging through her.
But at the last second, she jerked back and that movement broke whatever fragile spell had held them suspended.
Lucian’s hand dropped instantly and Elowen stumbled another step backward, her chest heaving.
“I.. We can’t.”
The words came out fractured barely audible but pain flashed openly across his face before he mastered it.
For a long moment, he said nothing then his expression shifted into something quieter.. Something almost unbearably vulnerable.
When he finally spoke, his voice was rough enough to scrape.
“Tell me to stop wanting this.”
Elowen's eyes widened in shock because the worst part and most dangerous part was that she couldn’t.
She couldn’t tell him that.. because also she couldn’t stop wanting this.. Whatever this actually was.