Chapter 79 The Reason

Chapter 79 The Reason

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Lucian’s words still lingered in the air between them.
“Tell me to stop wanting this.”
The gym suddenly felt too small for a sentence like that.
Too quiet and too warm.
Elowen could still feel the imprint of his hands around her wrists from moments ago, firm but careful, like he had been holding himself back with every ounce of restraint he possessed.
She should have answered him.. Should have forced herself to say the one thing that still made sense.
Stop! This is a mistake.. We can’t do this.
Instead, the words remained trapped somewhere behind her ribs, tangled hopelessly with the frantic beating of her heart because the terrifying truth was that she did not want him to stop and somehow, Lucian seemed to understand what she was feeling.
Something shifted in his expression like a quiet kind of devastation softened by understanding it was as if he had already heard the answer she could not say aloud and as the tension between them stretched unbearably.
Lucian slowly released her wrists but even that small movement felt intimate now so Elowen stepped back first.
Not because she wanted distance, but because staying that close to him for another second felt genuinely unsafe for her sanity.
The boxing gym around them had long since emptied out and somewhere outside, rain tapped softly against the high windows.
Lucian dragged a hand through his damp hair before turning away abruptly, pacing once toward the edge of the ring like he was trying to physically outrun whatever had almost happened between them.
Elowen watched him silently.. Watched the tension in his broad shoulders, the rigid set of his spine, the way he exhaled hard like breathing itself had suddenly become difficult.
He also looked shaken, not by the almost kiss but by.. her.
That realization unsettled her far more than it should have amd just then, Lucian spoke without looking at her.
“You asked me something earlier.”
His voice was quieter now.
Elowen frowned slightly. “What?”
He leaned both forearms against the ropes of the ring, head lowered for a brief moment before he looked back at her.
“Why I can’t stand seeing people helpless.”
The reminder made her chest tighten faintly.
She had asked him that, after he paid for Kieron’s tests, after he looked at her like watching her break apart physically hurt him to the core.
At the time, he had avoided answering. Now, something about him felt… resigned.
Like he had decided to stop hiding certain pieces of himself from her.
Lucian stepped down from the ring slowly and grabbed the towel hanging around his neck.
For a moment, he simply stood there twisting the towel absently between his hands.
Then he said quietly.. “It’s because of my parents.”
Elowen’s breath slowed because there was something different about him tonight, the sharp edges he usually kept carefully in place seemed dulled somehow like exhaustion had stripped him down to honesty.
Lucian slowly walked towards the bench near the door and sat heavily, elbows resting on his knees and Elowen hesitated before sitting beside him.
Not too close but not far either.
“My parents were Harrington royalty,” Lucian said with a humorless laugh. “Or at least that’s what everyone called them.”
He stared ahead at the empty gym floor.
“Perfect marriage. Perfect family. Perfect image.”
The bitterness in his voice was subtle but unmistakable but still Elowen stayed quiet especially because her instinct told her this was not easy for him.
“They separated when I was seven.”
Her brows pulled together instantly. “What?”
Lucian nodded once. “But they never announced it publicly.”
A hollow smile touched his mouth. “Apparently divorce would’ve damaged investor confidence.”
Elowen stared at him and for a second, she genuinely thought she had misheard him.
Investor confidence… Not heartbreak.. Not family.
Business!
“They stayed in the same house,” he continued quietly. “Different wings. Different lives. Same fake smiles whenever cameras showed up.”
Something cold twisted painfully inside her chest and Lucian leaned back against the bench, gaze distant now.
“My mother disappeared into charity work after that.” His voice flattened slightly. “Galas. Foundations. International trips.”
He paused.
“She became really good at caring about strangers.”
The silence after that sentence felt painfully loud and Elowen glanced sideways at him, he was looking down at his hands now.
Like he always did whenever certain memories clawed too close to the surface.
“She wasn’t cruel,” he added quickly. “Not really.”
The automatic defense made Elowen’s chest ache unexpectedly.
“She just…” He shrugged faintly. “Stopped noticing I existed.”
Something about the way he said it nearly shattered her.
As though he had accepted it years ago.
“And Jack?” she asked softly.
The change in Lucian was immediate.
His jaw tightened slightly. “My dearest father noticed me when I became useful.”
There it was again.. That awful bitterness beneath his calm voice then he laughed quietly under his breath.
“At first I thought he actually cared.” His eyes stayed fixed ahead. “He started showing up to my training sessions. Bought me equipment. Hired private coaches.”
His mouth curved faintly. “He used to talk about discipline constantly. Legacy.. Greatness.”
Elowen listened carefully.
“He told me Langfords don’t break under pressure.”
The sentence sounded rehearsed, it sounded like something burned permanently into him.
Lucian swallowed once before continuing. “I thought it meant he believed in me.”
His next laugh was softer yet it was sad enough to make her chest physically ache.
“But it turned out he just liked owning something valuable.”
Elowen looked down, suddenly unable to bear the expression on his face because this explained so much.
The perfectionism.. The panic attacks.. The constant self-control and the fear buried underneath all that power.
Lucian had spent his entire life terrified of becoming disappointing.
“I was fifteen when the sponsorships started,” he continued. “Sixteen when they started planning my entire life around publicity.”
He rubbed a hand over his jaw tiredly. “Interviews before school. Meetings after training. Nutritionists. Publicists. Investors.”
His expression hardened slightly. “Half the adults around me talked about me like I wasn’t even in the room.”
Elowen’s throat tightened painfully because she had just found out that he was just a little boy reduced to numbers, profit margins and public image.
No wonder he looked exhausted all the time, no wonder he seemed a bit older than everyone else their age.
“Our house was always full of people,” Lucian said quietly. “And somehow it still felt empty.”
Something deep inside her shifted painfully at that because for the first time since meeting him, she fully understood the loneliness beneath him, not just the surface isolation or the arrogance people assumed he carried… Real loneliness.
The kind that came from never being loved without conditions attached.
Lucian looked over at her suddenly. “When I see someone struggling,” he said softly, “I can’t ignore it.”
His voice lowered further. “Because I know what it feels like when nobody comes.”
The words hit her hard enough to steal her breath and for a moment, Elowen could not speak.
Could only stare at him while something dangerously tender unfolded inside her chest.
This boy… This infuriating, complicated boy.
Underneath all of it was someone who had spent years silently drowning while standing in rooms full of people and before she could stop herself, her hand moved.
Her fingers brushed lightly against his, the contact lasted barely a second yet Lucian froze completely.
His eyes dropped instantly to her hand then  slowly lifted back to her face and the look in his expression nearly undid her it was like even this tiny moment mattered too much.
Elowen slowly pulled her hand back and her pulse suddenly uneven again as the air between them changed.
Lucian stared at her for another quiet second before asking softly.. 
“Tell me.. What was your father like?”
And just like that, the ache in her chest deepened because Gareth Sterling was not a simple answer.
He was discipline, safety, love and pressure.. He was the reason she knew how to survive and the reason why  losing everything still hurt so much.