Chapter 73—Better Late Than Never

Noah’s POV:

It is not easy, what I am doing.

I don’t even know how I should behave with her.

How do you behave when you marry your ex?

I don’t even wanna call her my ‘ex’.

I wanna hate her, maybe because I want a reason to keep myself distracted from the fact that I still love her and she doesn’t.

She might be sorry for everything and might even care for me but I know she doesn’t like me in that way anymore.

I don’t even know what I am doing. Every time I want to show her hate, like the wedding night, I ended up hugging her like she is my life.

I can’t be vulnerable, not again.

But I can’t help it.

The coffee I was drinking, was so tasty. Although I can drink it with sugar too, I tried to show her how much I hate her, or act as I do, but it didn’t make me feel any better.

She went upstairs, probably to take a shower. I went to our room after the coffee and sat down. I am gonna study.

I saw some papers laying on the suitcase. Her suitcase.

I took it. There were some names scribbled on it. They were medicine names… why?

I took it and sat down on the bed. I started thinking and all the thoughts clouded my mind. Why does she have these names?

I heard the bathroom door click and she came out. She was just wearing a towel and damn, she was embarrassed. “I-I didn’t know you were here” she whispered loud enough for me to hear.

“You probably forgot that you are not alone in this room anymore, you are my wife,” I said, a smile on my lips which probably shocked her.

“Uh,” she took her clothes while I made my way out. Making her uncomfortable is still the last thing I’ll wanna do.

I entered the room in ten minutes. She was removing all the decorations from our room.

“Astrid,” I called, and she looked at me.

“I’ll remove them from the main hall too, I just—”

“No, come here,” I interrupted her.

She hesitantly came to me. I showed her the papers.

“Why are these names on your paper?”

She looked nervous. “N-Nothing”

“Astrid, tell me,” I insisted.

She sighed. “These are the names of the medicines kept in my mother’s closet. I didn’t get time to research on them, so I just noted down the names”

“Your mom?” I raised my eyebrow.

“Yes. Wait. You are a medical student. Is it serious?” she looked serious and concerned. Of course, it is about her mom.

“Uh… No! It is not serious. It is just… h-headache pills”

“You sure?”

“You doubt my skills?”

“Nope,” she looked down. “They are just too complicated names”

“That doesn’t mean that it is a complicated disease. Moreover, they are scientific names, so”

“Oh okay,” she smiled slightly. “Thanks! You saved a lot of time. I really don’t know how to research; it drains all the time!”

I tried not to smile when she was finally behaving normally and friendly. She noticed it and went back.

“I-I will take off these decorations” she whispered, and I nodded. I went downstairs.

I called Xander.

“Xan…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Um…” I took a deep breath. “Astrid’s mom has cancer”

Astrid’s POV:

I was removing the decorations when he asked me about the medicines. It didn’t take me long before I realized that I was behaving very normally and opening up and he… he wasn’t liking it at all. Of course, he wants to keep a distance in this relationship. It isn’t even one, we both know it has been nothing, but an arranged marriage.

I wish I had a love marriage with you, but who am I to dream when I was the one to destroy it in the first place.

I went downstairs when I finally completed all the work and as I stepped downstairs, I saw he was talking to someone on the phone. As I went downstairs, he suddenly cut the call.

“I’ll… I’ll meet you later,” he said, and, picking the car keys, he went out.

What’s going on?

I didn’t say anything, what can I say anyway?

I just removed the balloons and every other thing from every corner of the house and finally sat down.

Damn, I never worked this much.

But I need to be a good wife, which means I need to do everything he tells me to while trusting that he’ll not say something I’d not wanna do.

At least I can trust you now, Noah.

Better late than never.

I went to the kitchen. I don’t know when he’ll return, should I make his breakfast? He didn’t even eat it and also, he went out so early.

I debated and then I decided to call him. Whatever it is, he is still my husband, and I can’t cut myself off completely.

Noah’s POV:

“WHAT? You kidding me?”

“Not the best time to joke now, is it?” I replied to Xan.

“Gosh…” I could practically imagine him sighing. “Now what?”

I heard Astrid coming down. I can’t let her know this. “I’ll meet you at your place in 10 minutes”

I cut the call before he could reply and taking the car keys, I went to the car.

I got to Xan’s place and he looked at me like I did a really big mistake by coming here.

“What?” I rolled my eyes.

“You really like disturbing my vacation, don’t you?”

“Seriously? All these serious issues and all you can care about is your freaking vacations!?”

“Okay, I didn’t mean it” he sighed.

“Don’t you even dare take this lightly!” I went inside.

“So what now?” he questioned as I entered the house and greeted his parents. I went to his room.

“Now, I take oncology as my major”

“Are you kidding me? You are not the last doctor on this Earth that you need to learn oncology to save her mother”

“I am not blind either, Xan” I sat down on his bed. “Her mom just gifted us a very beautiful house, not to say, an expensive one. They aren’t billionaires, and you know the cost of a cancer operation in LA. Or anywhere, frankly. Her mom should have saved the money for her treatment because she knows that she has cancer, and she is taking the medicines. But she used the money at this wedding, didn’t she? To make it better? Shouldn’t I pay on her expectations from this marriage?”

“So you are gonna give up your dream of becoming a cardiologist? Noah…” he looked pissed. “You have given much for her already, haven’t you? Why more sacrifices?”

“Maybe because I still love her, and I can’t deny it anymore” I stood up. “I am taking the extra classes, I have no time to waste on vacations”

“No, WE are taking the classes”

“But Cardiology doesn’t have—”

“I am taking Oncology too now”

“No, Xan. not you!” I sighed.

“Please” he sat beside me. “You know that I will take the same major as you. So?”

“Xan you don’t need to!” I insisted. “You deserve to—”

“You deserve it too; Noah and I really want to do this. Let’s go back to the university tomorrow”

“Thanks, Xan you’re the best brother” I hugged him and he smiled.

You are really a great friend, Xan, I treasure you more than anything.

“Thanks but you will take Cardiology as you wanted to, not this”

“Noah…”

“Please, for me”

“But we will be separated”

“It is fine”

And after a lot of while, he finally agreed.

“But I’ll go with you, okay?”

“Yes, okay” I smiled and got up. “Now, I gotta go back, bye”

“Bye”

I took out my phone and saw two missed calls from Astrid.

Shit.

I called her back.

“Hey.. um… my phone was on silent” I explained.

“Oh, you coming? I made breakfast”

“Yes on my way” I cut the call. I need to not let her know about my feelings. I don’t wanna be vulnerable again, but I don’t know, I wanna be loved by her.

Maybe I am too desperate for her.

I went back home at full speed and went inside. The dinner was arranged at the dining table.

“Thanks,” I said as I sat down. She sat across me.

“It is my duty”

I looked at her. Why is she the perfect wife?

I ate the breakfast and I’ll be damned if I say that it wasn’t the most delicious breakfast. It reminded me of the day I went to her home, and she made me pancakes. I accidentally said that how lucky her husband would be.

The irony is now I am her husband, and I can’t even tell how delicious the breakfast is and how lucky I am. A true waste of skills.

I need to tell her that I am returning to the hostel tomorrow. I know her holidays are gonna continue. How pathetic I will leave her alone.

“Um... Astrid?” I called and she looked up from her plate to me. “I am leaving for the hostel tomorrow”

“Huh? Tomorrow?”

“Yes.” I shouldn’t explain. I don’t even know what lies to make and I shouldn’t… show any feelings.

She sadly nodded. “When you’ll return? Will you come on weekends?”

I looked at her while I thought of it. I can’t, I will have to study harder.

“No”

She looked hurt for a moment, but she nodded. “Okay,” she whispered and ran to her room.

Was she crying? Why?

I went upstairs and knocked on the door. I can’t hurt her. I shouldn’t.

She opened it and I could see a small tear down her face while she had wiped the others.

“See... I’ll…” I looked down. “I’ll come back on Sundays, okay?”

She smiled and nodded. “I’ll wait”

I wanted to hug her, tell her about everything, how I have missed her like a crazy person in the last year. But I can’t.

“Then…” I said and she looked at my eyes. Our eyes connected and the connection I felt with her was different. “Will you go out with me?”

She was shocked but recovered. “T-Today?”

“Now”

A shy smile appeared on her face. “Yes”

I smiled at her and went down as she followed me. Maybe, for once, I will not let you down.