Chapter 37 — Husk

I reached for the cup of water on the table next to the hospital bed and my fucking hand shook so much that I knocked it over. It bounced along the linoleum floor and rolled under the bed.

"Shit."

I groaned, leaning back down on the pillow. Couldn't even get a damn drink of water. I hated this. Hated being so fucking weak. Hated that I was crammed into this shitty hospital bed while my brothers were out there fighting wolves who were trying to take Fagua back to her father.

They needed me. And here I was, stuck, unable to get up.

I felt the anger building up inside me. I hated the weakness. I hated the guilt. I hated everything about my life.

I hated the fact that this was my own damn fault.

That I had been the one who fucked up and hadn't mated with Fagua. And now her own father wanted to take her away. I gritted my teeth, warring with myself. And I was paying the price for it every second of every hour of every day.

I deserved to be here.

I deserved everything that was happening to me.

I deserved it.

Punishment.

The word rang through my head. What an eloquent word. I was being fucking punished. By the gods. By the rules of the wolves and mates. By whoever the fuck was in charge of this shitty world.

I wanted to yell with every ounce of strength I had left. A howling, seething, desperate thing that wanted to rip out of my throat and tear at the sky.

I needed to shift. To become the wolf. To run and hunt and run and fight and run and drink from a fresh kill.

The wolf and I were both trapped, yoked together.

Everyone here including Doc told me I was the one who had screwed up because I hadn't claimed Fagua as my mate.

She deserved better than this. Better than me and how I hated that my brothers had her. How could I live with that?

The anger burned through my body, rushing through my veins and making me feel like I was going to explode with the sheer pressure of it.

I clenched my teeth. I could hear Doc talking to someone outside the door. I tried to pay attention but it was hard. The anger filled me until I felt like I was going to burst.

The door opened and I growled, baring my teeth and curling my fingers into fists.

I didn't care who it was.

Doc entered, then paled when he saw me. "We're doing everything we can to get you better."

About fucking time. "Great. How?"

"There's some experimental drugs we can try." His gray eyebrows furrowed. "But it's not a cure. The most it can do is buy you a little bit of time."

"How much?" I asked, letting a fragment of hope burrow into my chest.

"Two weeks? Maybe three?" He shrugged. "There's no guarantee that this will even grant you more than a few days."

"I'll take it."

"There are possible side effects."

"Do it. I don't want to fucking wait." My brothers could be in danger right now. Fagua could be hurt. I couldn't stand being in here one more fucking second.

Doc bobbed his head quickly, then pulled a syringe out of his pocket along with a bottle of bright green liquid. It looked like fucking alien blood.

Couldn't back out now.

He prepped the shot, then looked up at me and, after my nod, stuck the needle into my arm. "You might feel a slight burn."

Before I could ask "what the fuck?" he pushed the plunger down. His bald head shone in the fluorescent lights and he pulled the needle out. "There. I'll come check on you in half an hour."

He rushed out of the room like the devil was on his ass.

A tingling stretched from where he injected me and up my arm. If this stuff turned me into a monster, Doc was the first one I was murdering.

I watched the clock on the wall slowly tick the minutes away. Wondering if this was going to work.

The wolf wanted out.

To run.

How?

I couldn't get out of this fucking hospital bed. My body was wasted. The sheets and blankets wrapped around my unmoving form. My body, my prison.

I gritted my teeth and sucked in a lungful of air. I pulled myself upright, groaning at the pain in my chest. I was going to fucking die.

I could sense the wolf inside me. It was the only thing that kept me going.

Damn, I'd allowed myself to be injected with some shit that probably hadn't even been tested yet.

Half an hour passed and Doc hadn't returned. I held out my hand and it didn't shake as much as before.

Maybe I could get out of this fucking bed.

I lifted up, my legs prickling with the same feeling as my arm. I sat on the edge of the bed and forced myself to stand. My legs wobbled and I crashed to the floor.

"Fuck!"

Sitting on my ass, I leaned against the bed. The edge of the cup from earlier peeked out about an arm's length away. I reached under the bed, feeling around for the cup. Goddamnit, if I couldn't get a drink of water, I was going to go fucking mad.

My fingers finally closed around the cup and I pulled it out from under the bed. I smiled, a weak expression, but one that was full of victory. Mine! I'd done it!

I held the cup in my hand and looked around the room. Then I set the cup on the bedside table.

The anger and rage filled me and fired through my veins like lava. I wanted to kill, to tear, to run. The wolf wanted this. And I wanted to give it to him.

I don't know how long I lay there. An hour? Two hours? It might've been longer, but the medicine was working and I felt better. Stronger than before. There was a sharp banging on the wall.

"This had better be fucking good, Doc," I growled.

A whine sounded in the hallway followed by a snarl, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Shit! I threw open the door.

Doc and a nurse lay dead with their throats ripped out.

"Shit!" Doc didn't deserve this. Rage boiled in my veins and my skin felt hot and tight.

I bent down, closing the nurse's eyes, then the Doc's. Crimson wolf prints lead down the hallway. Didn't have to ask what the hell these monsters were doing here; they were going to die regardless.

I stalked down the hallway, following the prints. They ended in a room with the door halfway open.

I pushed inside and three wolves snapped their heads in my direction. The dirty laundry from my bedding and hospital gown I wore this morning lay on the floor from an overturned laundry bin.

The cleaning woman trembled in the corner.

"Get out," I said to her, clenching my fists and blocking the wolves' path to her.

Their mouths curled up, showing their fangs. Blood coated their muzzles. The woman let out a squeak and ran out of the room, sobbing.

My wolf howled in my chest, but I couldn't shift. Son of a bitch.

I punched the first wolf that leaped at me and kicked aside another.

Cursing, I swung at the third wolf and kicked it in the side, knocking it against the wall. "Hey, dickheads."

One of the wolves howled, then lunged forward.

I ducked to the side and swung my leg as hard as I could. My foot connected with his stomach and the wolf fell to the floor.

Another wolf pounced, aiming for my arm, but I was able to twist and land a kick to the wolf's head. My heel crashed into his jaw, making him hiss.

He raised his head and lowered his paws.

His eyes fell on me and he snarled, his eyes shining yellow.

I could smell the wolf's excitement and rage. He wanted blood, and I was going to give it to him.

The wolf leapt forward, hitting me in the face. My head snapped back, striking the wall behind me, then bounced forward. The wolf slashed at me and I rolled out of the way.

Kill them quickly. I chanted in my head, even as the room spun.

With my jagged teeth bared, I pushed to my feet with a grunt. "What the fuck are you doing in here, assholes?"

The wolf in front of me bent down to spring at me and I punched it in the jaw. It howled in pain, then rushed me. I blocked it and pulled it in closer. It snarled and I twisted its front leg, making it howl. Then it snapped at my face and I shoved it away.

The wolves circled me. "Come on, suckers."

I grabbed one of the wolves, tearing it to pieces. Then I grabbed the other and twisted its head, snapping its neck.

"Are you fucking crazy?!" A second nurse's voice rang in my ears like a siren as she entered the room.

The wolf clamped its teeth on my arm, using my distraction with her to get the bite in. I shouted, the pain shooting through me.

I felt my body shake. I could feel the wolf inside me trying to take control.

But I couldn't give in. Not yet. I had to keep the wolf in check. "Get out of here," I half-yelled, half-growled.

She paled and spun on her heel, disappearing out of the room.

A shiver ran through me, and I could smell the wolf's intense feeling of hunger. I pulled myself together, coiled my muscles, and faced the remaining wolf. My right arm hung limp.

I slammed my foot into the wolf's chest and the bones shattered. He hit the ground and I kicked his neck.

The wolf tried to crawl away, but I had my foot on its throat.

Then the creak of a door sounded and footsteps followed.

Someone was coming down the hallway.

I picked up my foot and grabbed the wolf by the neck, ripping its head off.

The flesh parted company and I could smell the thick scent of blood.

I pushed myself to my feet. Blood dripped from the wolf's neck, dripping off my hands.

I could feel my strength slipping away, and I gnashed my teeth, trying to keep focused. Stumbling, I pushed myself out of the room and into the hallway. My vision blurred. Fucking keep it together, I growled in my mind. I approached the doc's body and saw a vial full of the liquid he'd given me in his half-closed fist.

If that was more wolves coming, I needed this. I grabbed the vial and forced myself to keep walking, using the wall to keep me upright.

"What are you doing out of bed?" a nurse asked, then gasped out a breathy scream when she saw the two dead in the hallway.

"Get me a syringe," I barked. "Rogue wolves killed them and there might be more coming."

Where the hell was the other nurse and cleaning lady? Had they bolted out of the hospital without telling anyone what was going on? Can't say that I blamed them, as I probably looked like a monster killing those wolves.

"Call my brothers. Tell them to get here pronto." I had a feeling I was going to have to go through with this bonding bullshit with Fagua. There was only maybe one more dose of the doc's miracle drug and the lasting effect of it was mere minutes if I had to get into another fight. "And tell them to bring—Fagua."

Fuck, I couldn't even call her my mate out loud. How the hell was I going to mate with her?