Chapter 38 — Fagua

I relaxed in Winter's arms, wishing we could stay like this forever. Though I miss Sky too. And then there's Husk, but I don't feel any connection with him. Not like I do the other two brothers.

"I can feel you thinking," Winter said in a deep voice as he traced circles along my upper back and shoulder.

"Can't we just enjoy this moment?" I didn't want to bring Husk into this, but I know he’s going to come up.

"With all my heart and soul, I wish we could." He cleared his throat. "Fagua, the doctor's office called while you were out."

I tensed, unable to keep the knots from tightening in my stomach.

"Doc ran tests on Husk and it's confirmed. He's found his mate—you." He stopped rubbing my back. "You have to mate with him. It's the only thing that can save him."

"No." I push back and look into his bright blue eyes. "The tests have to be wrong. There's no way he and I are connected like that on any level, past, present, or future."

"The tests are never wrong. He found his mate, and that's you." Winter cupped my face, trying to make me see reason. "I have to tell you something and you need to understand that I never wanted this for him."

"What is it?"

"This doesn't just affect Husk. It affects all of us."

I frown, trying to figure out what he's talking about. "What do you mean?"

He brushed a finger over my lower lip and let out a huff of air, bringing the scent of cinnamon flowing over me. "Our powers will start failing."

When they first told me they were my mates, I had a hard time accepting it. Then I bonded with Winter and Sky. But I didn't think a fated mate would be this hard to accept. It feels like Husk and I are enemies, not even close to even tolerated acquaintances.

"Fagua, mating is the only way to save him." Winter moved his arm, breaking our connection. "Just like you mated with Sky to save him."

"That was different." I pushed up from the bed and snatched my clothes off the floor, pulling them on. Even with Sky, I had fled from here because I didn't want to admit I could possibly have more than one mate. But I couldn't stay away, and when I saw Sky in the hospital and how sick he was—something inside of me shifted. But when I saw Husk crumpled in the middle of the kitchen, I was concerned but felt nothing like I did with Winter or Sky. He had to be wrong. They all did.

Winter climbed out of bed, hiking up a pair of gray jogging pants over his ass and came over to where I stood next to the dresser.

"You have to mate with Husk. If you don't, he'll die." Winter put a hand on my shoulder as I grabbed my shoes from the floor.

I turned and pushed him away. "I can't do this."

"I can't lose you either." He gripped my shoulders, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I love you. There's never a day that goes by that I don't think about you."

"What? You love me?" I hadn't expected him to say that. Maybe I had wanted to hear it from him, but now it was too late.

I wrenched away from him. "Husk isn't going to die. He's not." Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Fagua—"

"No. You're wrong about me being his mate. I can't be." I pushed him out of the way and ran out the door.

"What's different?" Winter grabs my elbow, gently turning me to face him, narrowing his gaze at me.

"You, Sky, and I have something." I twist the hem of my shirt around my finger, not sure what else to say. "Husk… I don't know. I just don't feel it."

"Fagua." Winter's voice turned low and I knew he was trying to be patient. "You have to try."

"No." The word came out harsher than I wanted. "It's not that I don't want to save him." The thought of him dying was unbearable. "But I just can't do this. I can't give myself to him like that."

Husk and I have been at odds since the day we met. Getting close to him is like trying to pet a porcupine and not get stabbed.

I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. My makeup was smudged and I had just-fucked hair.

I grabbed a brush off the dresser and started to pull it through my locks. Everything in me wanted to scream, to run, to do anything but agree to what Winter and Sky wanted.

"Fagua." Winter grabbed my wrist, stopping the frantic movement. "I'm not telling you to do this because I want you to. I'm telling you to do this because it's your duty as his mate and ours. To save him and all of us. It's not a matter of what you or I want. If I had my way, you'd be only mine forever. But neither of us can deny fate. You have to mate with him." His fingers squeezed my hand gently. "Don't you see you're the only one who can save him? You're the only one who can save all of us."

I closed my eyes briefly before meeting his gaze. "Please don't ask me to do this."

"It's your choice." Winter raked a hand through his white-blond hair and headed toward the door. "But he will die without you. And our circle—our pack—will deteriorate."

I don't know how long I stood there staring at the spot on the floor where Winter had been. Maybe I was waiting for him to come back and tell me I was right.

Sky drifted in dressed in leather pants and a T-shirt that clung to his muscled chest. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, tears stinging the back of my eyes. "I can't do this. I can't mate with Husk. I just can't."

"You have to." He dropped down on the bed. "If you don't, you'll lose everything."

"I can't." I pushed the hairbrush back on the dresser and crossed my arms. "I'm not his mate. It was natural with Winter. And even with you it didn't take me that long to realize the truth. But with Husk, it feels forced."

"Everything in me, even before Husk's test and mine, I knew you were our mate." He reached out and touched my arm. "I can smell it. You're his. It's fate."

"I don't believe in fate." I stepped back, out of his reach. "I have to make my own."

"You can't fight fate." He shook his head. "No matter how hard you try."

Both he and Winter were saying I was wrong. I didn’t know what to feel.

I just wasn't ready for another mate. Not one I didn't want and who didn’t want me. I felt like I was trapped in a whirlwind.

I loved Winter and Sky. They were my mates and I fell in love with them.

But Husk? I don't think I could ever love him. Did that matter?

"I can't do this, Sky. I can't." I yanked on my hair, trying to think of some other way to fix this. "I can't."

"You have to or Husk will die." His sea-green eyes, so much like a tropical ocean it had my knees weakening. I wanted to see him happy. Wanted to feel his arms around me. Wanted to forget all of this and go back to how it was before Husk got ill. Just the three of us.

"How? How can I?" I let out a sigh, trying to calm down. "I don't feel anything for him."

"Love is complicated. It takes time."

"I can't love him! Not when I love you and Winter. It would be a betrayal to you both."

"Fagua, you loved Winter before your tests showed we were your mates." He reached out and cupped my cheek. "And you trusted the tests with me."

I closed my eyes and I could see Winter, Sky, and even Husk in my mind. I just didn’t feel it with Husk like I did with the others.

"I'm scared, Sky."

"We're here for you. We can help you. Just let us." Sky gave me a tight smile. "I'm going to talk to Winter. Don't worry, we'll figure something out."

Sky left me alone, and even though he and his brother were both still in the house, I felt more alone than I had since I met them. Could I give Husk my body and not my heart or soul? Maybe that would be enough.

Except even the thought of that sent bile rushing up the back of my throat.

Winter and Sky were wrong about this. They had to be. Husk was the only one affected. What if it was because I wasn't his mate? That the one for him was out there and they'd all confused this. I mean, I didn't know of any other wolf who had more than one mate, let alone three.

I swallowed hard. No, I'd already have the connection with Husk if he was one of my mates.

I rubbed my aching chest, wondering what the hell I was going to do.

After taking several breaths to try and calm myself, I strode out into the living room. Winter and Sky both stopped talking as soon as they heard me.

"Fagua." Sky's voice was so low, it was almost a growl.

I collapsed between him and Winter on the couch. "I'm scared."

"I know, love." Sky pulled me into his arms and I pressed my face into his warm embrace.

Winter enclosed his arms around us, sandwiching me in the middle.

"I feel like I'm being torn in two." Their arms made me feel safe, like I could tell them anything.

"You know how to love two people, so why not three?" Sky lifted my face so I'd have to look at him. "You can save Husk."

"How?" I pushed away from him and Winter. Standing, I paced back and forth in front of the couch. "I don't feel anything for him. I can't be his mate!"

Winter's phone rang. He glared at it but looked up at me and Sky. "It's the hospital calling. I'll be right back." He left us alone as he headed into the kitchen.

My stomach cramped. Was the hospital saying Husk was back in a coma or worse? My throat worked but no sound came out.

Sky closed the distance between us. "Give him time. You'll see how you and he are mates just like us."

"No." I shook my head. "I can't do this."

He smiled at me, a soft smile that let me know he understood. "I'll talk to him. Maybe together we can figure something out."

"This isn't going to work." I lifted my chin. "No matter how much you and Winter want this, Husk and I don't."

"You don't know that." He frowned, pulling me into his arms.

I sagged against him. "Yes, I do."

"Just spend some time with Husk. Alone." He rubbed my lower back, pressing me against his erection. "You've never done that, have you?"

"No," I confessed. "Not since he locked me up in the penthouse my first night here."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Well, Husk is about as stubborn as you are."

"Husk hates me." I leaned back, looking up into Sky's gorgeous face. "He doesn't even want me."

"How do you know?" He traced my bottom lip. "Maybe he's scared, deep down."

Sky's words hit me in the middle and I knew I was guilty of fear too. "So, I have to give in to him?" I blanched at the thought.

"No, but you have to give him a chance. He's as much a prisoner to this as you are." He kissed my mouth. "Spend time with him. Get to know him without prejudice from either of you. Look into his eyes, Fagua. You'll see that he's your mate."

"He won't change his mind." I pulled away from Sky and crossed my arms, shaking my head. "And I don't think I can either. I know what I feel and what I don't feel."

Sky touched my face, gently pushing my hair behind my ear.

"This isn't fair. I'm not ready to love three people." I sucked in a breath, wanting to say that I could never love Husk, but I held back. They knew how I felt.

"He's your mate. Just as we are." Sky's eyes were stormy and I knew he didn't agree with me.

I sighed, dropping my arms and letting them fall to my sides.

"Meet him halfway." Sky waited for my response.

I looked up into Sky's green eyes, willing him to understand. I wasn't some puppet to be manipulated.

"Just give it a chance, love." He reached out and grabbed my hand.

"He doesn't want a mate." I shook my head. "He's too broken to care about anyone but himself."

"That may be true, but you're the only one who can show him he's wrong." Sky gave me a pleading look. "Don't let your mate die because you're afraid."

"He doesn't want me," I insist again.

"I think you're wrong." Sky cupped my cheek and I leaned into his touch. "I want to spend my life with you. I'm willing to give you time to get to know Husk. And I know Winter feels the same way. You're ours, Fagua."

Winter ran back into the living room. "Husk is okay. He's out of the coma and the doctor gave him something to help him cope with the pain for now."

"That's great." I wished the news would loosen the tightness in my chest, but it didn’t.

"But rogue wolves attacked the hospital. They killed Doc and a few others."

I pressed my hands to my throat, backing out of Sky's arms. "My father's?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

"I'm afraid so."

Despair and rage bubbled in my throat. My magic pricked against my skin. I had to let it out before it whipped out on its own and destroyed something.

But nothing happened. My power fizzled out like a toy with expired batteries. I turned to the couch, holding out my hand and concentrating on a pillow, willing it to levitate to me. Sweat beaded across the back of my neck, but the pillow didn't move.

My power wasn't working.

I shook my head, still trying to sort through the feelings inside me. Fear, pride, loss, anger, hatred, sadness, and dread. With my power not working, Winter's prediction was coming true. Without it, I couldn't save myself or anyone from my father and the other wolves.

My chest ached and I felt an incredible weight on my shoulders that was beginning to crush me.

I didn't have a choice. I had to mate with Husk.

Seconds later, I left my room, waiting for Winter and Sky to drive me to a bar to meet Husk, my hands shaking.

How was I going to go through with this?