Chapter 43 Between Life and Death
Lara's pov
Damien had not opened his eyes yet, and the surgery was still ongoing for eight hours since the doctor had started it. He didn't even know I was here.
I couldn't sit down. I kept pacing back and forth in the waiting room. My legs were tired but I couldn't stop moving.
Ethan had woken up. He was sitting on the couch and watching me.
"Mommy, when is Daddy coming back?"Is he going to die?"
My heart was so broken every time he asked that question. He had asked this same question maybe twenty times already.
"Don't worry baby, Dad is going to be okay", I said.
But I didn't know if that was true. I was just saying it to make him feel better.
Marcus came back with food. Guess he went to get food when he left the hospital the other time.
"You both need to eat something."
I looked at the food with one kind eye. “I'm not hungry,” I said.
"You haven't eaten since yesterday."
“I'm not hungry”.
Every time the door opened, my heart stopped. But it was always just nurses or other doctors. Dr Chen hadn’t come out from the operation room. I haven't heard anything about Damien.
I needed to use the bathroom when I told Ethan to stay with Marcus.
No one was in the bathroom when I entered. I went to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror.
Honestly, I looked so shattered.
I looked like someone who was falling apart.
Because I was.
Suddenly, my eyes started turning. My hands were shaking and I couldn't breathe properly.
I needed something to hold myself, so I grabbed the sink but my legs slipped and I slid down to the floor.
This was all my fault. I killed him. I killed him.
The bathroom door opened. A woman came in. She saw me on the floor.
"Oh my God. What's wrong with you?"
I couldn't give out a word. I was trying to breathe but I couldn't.
"Okay.Listen to me, " she said. You will count from number one to ten. Can you do that?"
I shook my head.
“Yes you can. Give it a try. One”
"One," I whispered.
"Good. Two."
"Two."
We both counted to ten together. And I could breathe again slowly.
"There you go. You're okay. Just breathe."
I wiped my face. "Thank you."
"Is someone you love in surgery?"
I nodded.
"They're going to be fine, okay .The doctors here are really trying, in fact they are the best."
She pulled my hand so as to be able to stand up and then she left.
I washed my face with cold water. Took a deep breath. And went back outside.
It had been ten hours since the surgery started and I haven't set my eyes on Doctor Chen.
Until –
He finally came out.I jumped up so fast I almost fell over. Marcus stood up. Ethan ran over to me.
"How is he, Doctor? Please tell me he's alive."
Dr. Chen' didn't give any reaction.My heart was beating so fast.
"The surgery was successful. We removed the blood clot and relieved the pressure on his brain."
I almost fell down. Marcus caught my arm.
"Is he alive?"
"Yes”.
God, thank you.
"But," Dr. Chen continued. "He's still in critical condition. When he wakes up, we will know the extent of the damage.
"What do you mean by damage?"
"Brain injuries are unpredictable, Mrs. Montgomery. He could wake up fine. Or in some cases, there could be memory loss, personality changes, problems with moving."
My stomach dropped.
"We just have to wait and see."
"Can I see him?"
"Yes. Follow me."
I was taken to the room, Ethan didn't follow me because the hospital rules didn't allow that.
I looked at Damien, he was worse than the other time I saw him. He was wrapped with different bandages, more tubes and another bandage was wrapped around his head where they operated.
I sat down beside him and took his hand.
“Thank God you're alive."
The machines were still beeping. He was still connected to everything.
“I'm not leaving you. Not going anywhere until you wake up”.
I still love you, I never stopped loving you.I kissed his forehead gently.
A nurse entered. “You can now stay here with him. I will bring a chair for you so that if you want to rest or sleep, you can do that.
Thank you, I said. But, I didn't let go of Damien's hand.
It was another day and Damien hadn't still woken up.
I hadn't left the hospital. I was still wearing the clothes I wore yesterday. Marcus brought other clothes for me, so I just bathed in the hospital rest room and changed my clothes.
Ethan was now scared that Daddy wasn't waking up yet.
He threw a tantrum in the waiting room. Started yelling and crying.
“Why are you lying to me, why didn't dad wake up. Is he dead?”
"Ethan, stop it. He's not dead.God forbid”.
"The hospital rules don't allow children in ICU. That's why you weren't able to see him.
No, no….. I want to see him.
I decided to go to the nurse and pleaded with her so she could let Ethan see him even if it's just five minutes.
The nurse looked at Ethan crying and she nodded.
"Five minutes. Okay?”.
I took Ethan to Damien's room. He was shocked when he saw him. “Don't tell me this is Dad”, he said.
“Yes baby, he is the one.”
He wanted to touch him, but he was scared. “You can touch him,” I said.
He touched him gently and cried bitterly.
"Wake up, Daddy. Please wake up. I'm sorry for everything. Please wake up”.
I pulled him into a hug and we both cried together beside Damien's bed.
That evening, I was sitting beside Damien reading a book. Ethan had picked it out. It was one of Damien's favorite books to read to Ethan.
I was reading the book out loud and suddenly he moved his hand.
I stopped reading. "Damien?"
His hand moved again. Just a little twitch.
The heart monitor now started beeping slightly faster. I jumped up and ran to call the nurse.
"He moved! His hand moved!"
The nurse came in and checked everything.
"It could be involuntary. But it's actually a good sign. It means his brain is still showing activity."
“I went back to his bedside and held his hand tight. I know you are alive, you moved. You really did. Keep fighting”.
Three days later, I was getting coffee from the vending machine in the hallway when I turned around. Shocked.
Lucas.
He was standing opposite me. He was looking dirty.
“What are you here? How did you get out of the prison? Who released you?”
“I heard everything that happened to you and Damien. I came to see if you are okay”.
"How did you know I was here? Who invited you?”.
The news carried it.
“I don't want to see you here. I don't have time for this. Leave”.
"I still care about you, Lara. Despite everything."
I felt anger rising in my chest.
"I'm tired of all of your stories. Please leave”.
"I know. I was wrong. I'm sorry.”
He looked through the window and saw Ethan sleeping on the couch.
"Is he here? The kid?"
“What kid? Don't you dare go near my son”.
"I just want to see him."
“See who?"He was never yours. And he was never going to be yours."
A security man was walking towards us. I guess Marcus called him.
“Excuse me, you need to leave, he said.”
Lucas looked at me. “I'm not giving up on us, Lara . We are still legally married.”
“Get out”…..
The security man escorted Lucas out. But his words stayed in my head.
We're still married.
Oh God. I never filed for divorce. We separated but we never actually divorced.
Which meant I was still legally Mrs. Lucas Ward.
The thought made me sick.
In the night, I was sitting down beside Damien. Ethan.m had slept. And I was just thinking about Lucas and what he said.
How did that bitch come out of the prison.?What rubbish did he say to me?.
“Damien, you have to wake up,” I said. I need to divorce him.
"And I need to stay with you till forever ."
I squeezed his hand.
I want to be your wife, Damien. So please wake up.
I put my head down on the bed next to his hand and closed my eyes.
I fell asleep and I dreamed. I was wearing a white dress and walking down the aisle with Damien. I was happy.
Damien was waiting for me at the front. He was happy and smiling, but as I started walking towards him, he was fading.
"Don't leave me. Please don't leave."
But he kept fading until he finally disappeared.
I was standing alone in an empty church.
"Damien!"
I woke up crying and gasping for air.
It was just a dream, God.
The next morning, Dr. Chen came in.
He checked Damien's vitals and other things.
"His brain activity is increasing. This is very good."
My heart jumped. "What does that mean?"
"It means we're going to start reducing the sedation medication. If all goes well, he should start waking up in the next 48 hours”.
I hope so.
They started reducing Damien's medication throughout the day.
I watched them as they did everything.
Marcus brought food and we ate. But I refused to leave the room where Damien was.
"What if he wakes up and I'm not here?"
"Then we'll come and call you," Marcus said. "You need to rest."
"I can't.”
That evening, I was talking to Damien when I suddenly noticed his eyelid moved.
I stopped talking. "Damien?"
His eyelids moved again. Like he was trying to open them.
His fingers moved.
The heart monitor beeped faster.
I told Ethan to get the nurse.I leaned close to Damien. "Damien, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."
Nothing at first.
Then I felt it. A very small squeeze.
So small I almost thought I imagined it.
But no. I felt it.
"Oh my God. Oh my God, you're in there."
Dr. Chen and nurses rushed in. Ethan came in behind them.
Dr. Chen checked everything. He shined a light in Damien's eyes.
"Mr. Otto, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."
Damien's hand squeezed the doctor's hand. Everyone saw it.
"Good. That's very good. Can you open your eyes for me?"
Damien's eyelids started moving slowly.
"Come on, Damien. You can do it. Open your eyes."
His eyes opened halfway.
Damien's eyes moved slowly. Trying to focus. Then he saw me standing there with Ethan.
His mouth tried to move but the breathing tube was still in.
"Don't try to talk yet. We're going to remove the tube."
They removed all the tubes until he finally took a breath on his own.
Damien looked at me and tried to speak. He finally whispered my name.
"L...Lara..."
I ran to his bedside and grabbed his hand.
"I'm here baby. I'm here”.
Tears filled his eyes.
"You...stayed..."
"Of course I stayed. I never left. Not once."
He looked at Ethan. "E...Ethan..." Don't cry baby. He said.
Dr. Chen put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't let him talk too much. He needs to rest."
But I didn't want to stop looking at him. He was awake and he was alive.
Dr. Chen started asking Damien questions. He was able to answer everything.
"Good. Very good. Do you remember what happened?"
Damien's face changed. He looked at me.
"Car...accident..."
Dr. Chen and the nurses left to give us privacy.
Ethan climbed carefully onto the bed. He hugged Damien very gently.
"I was so scared, Daddy."
"I'm sorry...buddy...I'm okay now..."
Ethan curled up next to him and fell asleep like that.
I pulled my chair close and held Damien's hand.
"I'm sorry," Damien whispered. "For everything."
"Don't. Don't apologize. This was my fault."
"No...I was driving...I wasn't paying attention..."
"Because I broke your heart."
We looked at each other for a long moment.
Later that night, Damien fell asleep.
Ethan was still curled up beside him. Both of them sleeping.
I sat in the chair watching my family.
My phone buzzed.
A text from a number I didn't recognize.
I opened it.
It was a photo. Of me and Damien in the hospital room. Taken from outside the window.
Someone had been watching us.
My blood went cold.
Below the photo was a message.
"Enjoying your happy ending? Not for long. -L"
L. Lucas.
I stood up immediately and looked outside but it was empty.
My phone buzzed again.
Another text.
"You're still my wife. Don't forget that."
Lucas wasn't done. He wasn't going to leave us alone.
I looked at Damien and Ethan sleeping peacefully.
They didn't know what was coming.
But I did.
And I had to protect them.