Chapter 24 - Ximena's Wish

Dana POV:

"Can you come in with me?" I ask Jason.

"I doubt that would be the right thing to do Dana. Your conversation with your sister is a personal conversation and I doubt she'd be comfortable opening up to you with a stranger hanging around. You just go in there, talk to her like I said, assure her that you're ready to listen to her and understand her, persuade her gently and be patient with her so she can slowly tell you how she really feels," he reminds me, and I let out a nervous sigh as I nod in understanding.

"Thanks Jason," I say to him, genuinely grateful for his support.

"You're welcome, Dana and good luck with her," he replies, and I turn towards the door and hit the doorbell nervously.

After finding out that Ximena was staying with her best friend Jessica, I had called her to inform her that I would be coming to see Ximena. I expected her to deny that Ximena was with her but surprisingly, she was quick to admit it and she even asked that I come by this time when Ximena would most definitely be home.

The door flies open, and I expected either Jessie or her parents to open the door, but it turned out to be Ximena herself and the expression on her face immediately turned scornful as soon as she saw me.

"What the fuck do you want?" she hisses impatiently. I let out a heavy sigh before replying.

"Let's talk, Ximena," I tell her as calmly as I could.

"I have absolutely nothing to talk about with someone who disowned me already so do me a favor miss and get out of here," she hisses. I honestly wasn't surprised by her reaction.

"Ximena, please I beg you, let's talk. Even if it's just for a few minutes, I need to talk to you," I plead with her, hoping she'd at least agree to listen to me even if it'll only be for a few minutes.

"What could you possibly want to say to me Dana? Do you want to apologize for throwing me out of your life? Is that it? Cause if yes, I have no interest in walking back into your life so you can try to control me again. I already told you what I want to do, and I don't need you to walk back into my life and try to change my mind," she hisses and again, I'm not surprised by her words.

"I'm not here you to stop you from doing anything Ximena. In fact, I'm here to do the exact opposite of that but before we get into that, I want us to have an actual conversation," I say to her.

"What conversation Dana? Do we have anything to say to each other? Do you have anything different to say to me?" she asks.

"Believe it or not, yes I do have something different to say to you Ximena but before I say it, I need you to be honest with me. I want to try to understand you and reason with you so that I can finally see reasons why I should find dad. I want to understand why you want to find the man that left us to struggle by ourselves when we had absolutely nothing. If you can make me understand you, I promise I'll help you find him," I tell her, hoping she'd do just that. Talk to me.

"I don't think I can trust you not to be judgmental as usual though. At the end of the day, you hate dad and nothing I say would probably make any sense to you," she replies, and I sigh.

"Ximena, I need you to understand me the same way I want to understand you. I have every right in the world to resent dad and not want to see him ever at again and you know I do. Now, I want to try to understand why you want to see him again even after everything and the reason I want to understand you is so I can maybe relate with you and also help you find him. You don't have to worry about not making sense to me cause trust me, I'm willing to understand you regardless of what you say so please Ximena, talk to me," I plead.

"Don't you dare criticize me cause the moment you do that, I'll throw you out," she states calmly, and I chuckle.

"I promise I won't," I assure her, and she immediately steps aside to let me in.

I take a look around the living room, and surprisingly, it didn't look as tacky as I expected. For a shabby neighborhood, Jessie's parents definitely did a good job with the interior of their home, and I couldn't be more thankful that Ximena actually chose to crash here.

"What? You don't like the place? Is it no longer your style now that you're rich?" she asks in a somewhat disappointed tone, and I mentally roll my eyes at her childishness.

"You seem to be forgetting that just three months ago, a place like this was all I had. Don't treat me like I don't appreciate where I started because I do, Ximena. But just like anyone with a common sense, I want better and not just for myself but for you, Carlos and Carmen as well. Don't judge me for that," I reply.

She scoffs. "Whatever!" she replies dismissively before taking a seat on the nearest sofa and I do the same on the sofa opposite where she sat.

"Okay Dana, what exactly do you want to know?" she asks.

"Why do you want to meet with Dad?" I ask straightforwardly.

"Isn't it obvious? I miss him," she replies, and I sigh.

"Is that really the only reason you want to see him? Do you perhaps have something you want to say to him or ask him? Do you really want to find him simply because you miss him or is there something else Ximena? Please be honest with me," I ask her as calmly as I can, so I don't end up provoking her.

"Do I really need a reason to want to see my father, Dana? Can't I just miss him?" she asks.

"Forgive me if I can't understand why you would miss someone who stopped being active in our lives about eight years ago before suddenly disappearing from our lives from one day to the next. Forgive me Ximena, but I just can't bring myself to understand why if you don't give me a much clearer explanation," I state as clearly as I could, hoping she would be understanding enough to get where I'm coming from.

"Dana, it's not that I don't resent dad for abandoning us. For a long time, I resented him very much for taking away the best part of your life and for making you responsible for all three of us when it should have been him taking care of us but now, I want to understand him. Why did he leave? Where did it all go wrong? What could have gotten over him? Why didn't he consider us for once? I want to meet him and ask him in person why he suddenly became a different man from one day to the next. This is why I need to see him.

"Don't get me wrong, Dana. I'm not trying to make excuses for his decision to abandon us but rather than pretending like he no longer exists and telling myself every day that I hate him and never want to see him ever again, I'd rather meet with him. Even if it's just once and ask him why he left. That is the reason I need to meet Dad," she explains, and I could hardly believe what I just heard.

This has to be the first time Ximena actually sounded mature, and to say I'm impressed by that would be an understatement. It may seem as though my sister has the courage to seek answers to questions that I haven't been able to bring myself to ask all these years and now I feel embarrassed.

"I don't know what to say to you," I mutter in a low tone, burying my face in my palm.

"What? It still doesn't make any sense to you. Do I still need to explain even more?" she asks.

"No Ximena, I don't need you to do that. I completely understand you and you know what, I'm proud of you for wanting answers because I want those answers too. I guess I've been way too busy all this time and I don't think I have the courage to actually ask him to his face," I tell her honestly.

"Why though? I get you've been busy but why would you be scared of asking him why he left you to do his job? You of all people deserve an actual explanation," she responds, and I let out a shaky breath.

"I know that, but I just don't think I'm ready to hear it yet, Ximena. You know, his absence all this while has become like a wound in my chest that keeps getting deeper and deeper each passing day and I'm afraid that whatever excuse he'll give will actually break me. It's been really hard keeping it together all this while, Ximena, and all by myself and I don't think I'm ready to face him just yet cause I might just end up breaking down completely but if it's your wish to meet him, I'll let you do that cause I don't have the right to deprive you simply because I'm not ready yet," I reply and she furrows her brows in confusion.

"Just like you want to understand me, I'll understand and respect your decision as well but Dana, you'll eventually need to clear things up with him so you can finally let go of your resentment. I want to have a very solid reason to hate him and never want to see him again and I know he abandoning us is more than enough reason but I need to let go of this anger and yell out my frustrations at him once and for all so I can go on living my life without wondering whether or not he's alive or dead and I'd advise you and Jencarlos to do the same thing. Like you said, our life has changed so we should as well but none of us can do that if we carry hate within us. Try to give yourself peace Dana, it'll help," she advises.

I let out a small sigh, still finding it hard to believe that I was actually talking to the same Ximena who I've always believed was thoughtless up until a few minutes ago. I guess Jason was right after all, she just needed me to listen to her and try to understand her and I couldn't be happier that I did just that.

"I promise I'll think about it Ximena but as for Carlos, I don't think you should talk to him about dad. You know how he got when dad left, I doubt he'd want to be reminded of that feeling once again," I remind her, recalling how my brother became a total wreck for months after dad left. I almost couldn't control him but thankfully, Kendrick, my ex-boyfriend was able to help tame him and snap him out of it.

"I understand but what about Carmen? Do you think she'd want to see dad?" she asks.

"You know what Ximena, let's just find him first and then you meet with him. I'll only let Carmen meet him if he has something meaningful to say to her cause if not, I'd rather not bring back old memories for her," I say, and she nods in understanding.

"So, would you like to come back home?" I ask.

"So now you want me back?" she drawls.

I chuckle, "Go pack your bags kid," I reply and almost immediately she gets up and heads towards the back of the house where I assume the bedrooms are.

She walks back a few minutes later with a small bag and I'm actually surprised to see that was all she had with her.

"This is all you brought?" I ask.

"Well duh, did you really think I'd move in permanently with Jessie? I was expecting you to show up sooner or later. You can't possibly live without me anyway. Who's gonna bother you and get you all worked up?" she blurts, and I gasp.

"You little pretender," I say to her, and we both let out a short laugh.

"By the way Dana, I don't actually have those tattoos and piercings, they were just fake. I only wanted to tease you, but you took me too seriously," she confesses, and I let out another gasp. Didn't even notice her body wasn't tattooed anymore since I probably didn't even think of them.

"Thank you for simply teasing me," I tell her with a smile before grabbing the bag from her and heading out of Jessie's house.