Chapter 23 - Samuel's Advice

Blake POV:

"How's Dana doing?" I ask Jason over the phone.

"She's just there honestly. I see her trying to pull herself together and acting like she's okay but it's all just pretense in my opinion. The fight with her sister really messed with her and I don't think she'll be any better until the situation with her sister is resolved," he explains, and I sigh.

"I feel so bad that I can't be there for her now. Please do take care of her and make sure she at least eats something, so she doesn't fall ill. I'll be back soon to take the responsibility off your shoulders," I say to him, feeling terrible that I'm letting him take responsibility for her when I'm her husband.

"You don't have to worry about anything, Blake. She'll be just fine, and you don't have to feel bad about anything. She and I are friends and I have no problem being there for her," he assures and I'm little surprised that he called her a friend since he literally couldn't stand the idea of having her around for the first few weeks.

"I need to get back to work now. Let me know if anything else happens," I reply.

"Sure thing, babe but before you go off, when are you going to come back? It's been over two weeks already," he asks, and this was the moment where I had to lie.

"I still don't know when I'll be back, Jace. The entire agreement is taking much longer than I expected but I'll try to wrap things up with them as soon as possible and I'll most probably be back in about a week or two," I say to him, hating the fact that I had to lie to him but at the same time, not regretting the fact that I was lying.

"So, you'll only be back here in the next two weeks? Really Blake? My exhibition is in 12 freaking days. Are you really going miss it?" he asks. I honestly completely forgot about his exhibition.

"Oh, my goodness Jace, I almost forgot about that. I'm so sorry I let it skip my mind, but you don't have to worry babe, I'll be there. I won't miss it for any reason whatsoever, I promise," I reassure him.

"You better not or you can just delete my fucking number," he replies in a less serious tone, and I let out a sigh of relief that he wasn't exactly mad at me for forgetting about his big event.

"I promise I won't babe. Now, I need to get back to work because I have a lot to do but I'll call you back in a few hours," I say.

"Please do not bother calling me at least in the next eight hours cause just in case you don't remember, there's a time difference between both countries and I need to get enough sleep cause it's nighttime over here," he warns jokingly, and I let out a chuckle before hanging up.

I let out a guilty sigh as soon as the call ends before turning back to stare at the half-naked man on my bed. It's around 8 a.m. over here and I haven't been able to get back to sleep ever since I woke up.

If you're wondering why I have a half-naked man on my bed, well, it isn't exactly a long story, but the truth is, he's the reason I'm still here.

If anyone were to witness this, they'd probably think I was cheating on Jason but trust me, that isn't the case. At least, not yet. Lying on my bed is Samuel Carter, who happens to be the last son of an old friend turned nemesis of my dad's.

Samuel and I have known each other for almost twenty years and we used to be best friends till something went wrong between my dad and his and from one day to the next, dad had banned me from ever getting in contact with Sam ever again and that was how he and I stopped being friends but surprisingly, he was the first person I saw as soon as I landed in South Africa and saying I was surprised by that would definitely be an understatement from me.

I never thought I'd run into him ever again especially not in South Africa of all places but weirdly, he was at the airport when I arrived, and we just happened to run into each other.

Another thing that actually surprised me was when we started to catch up, he also opened up to me about his sexuality and it turns out he's also into men but the difference between he and I is, he is open about it with his family and with the rest of the world, while I had to get married just to keep my sexuality a secret. I couldn't help but feel like a coward when he told me about his life and how he almost got married but it didn't work out with his ex-boyfriend and how his mother had been happy for him when he came out and how they all supported him and unfortunately for me, I could not relate to his story cause I don't have the courage to face my homophobic family.

After catching me up on his life, cause one thing about Samuel was his ability to never stop talking, he decided to pry into mine and ask questions and after a lot of persuading and persistence, he finally got me to talk and to my own surprise, I actually told him everything about me. From how I've found myself since I was a teenager to how my parents are still not aware and everything surrounding my current boyfriend and my fake wife.

I honestly expected him to judge my cowardly nature but well, he didn't. He told me he could relate to my fear because before he could tell his parents about himself, he actually had to take his time to gather his courage and he was actually expecting them to react in the worst way possible but when his mother had said to him that he's her son and that she had no right to judge whatever made him happy, he was able to get all the confidence he needed.

"You're up already?" the familiar voice of Samuel asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh yeah, got up about an hour ago," I tell him, and he hisses.

"An hour ago, Blake? You don't have work today so why would you get up so early? Don't tell me you're still sitting in the dark and thinking all by yourself like some overly depressed dude," he teases, and I roll my eyes.

"Jason called and that's why I woke up. Besides, I think four hours of sleep is more than enough for me. I'm not like you who enjoys sleeping all day," I jokingly tease his sleeping habits, earning a mock annoyed frown from him.

"Is everything okay at home? Do you perhaps have to leave soon?" he asks, his tone sounding serious this time.

"I should leave, I really should but I don't think I'm ready to go back to that life just yet and I feel horrible cause Dana needs me over there but here I am, having the time of my life and lying to them," l reply as a feeling of intense guilt overwhelms me.

"Did you give them a time you'd be back?" he asks.

"I told Jace I'll be back in two weeks I may have to leave sooner cause his exhibition is in twelve days and I can't miss it," I tell him, and he sighs.

"For some reason, I feel like I'm heavily responsible for the fact that you've had to lie to your family just to stay a while longer and that makes me feel slightly unhappy and uncomfortable," he opens up honestly and I can't possibly deny the fact that he isn't wrong. He's literally the only reason I'm still here.

"I'm not gonna try to lie and pretend that you're not part of the reason I'm still here but to lessen your worry, you're only one of the reason, not the only reason cause believe it or not, I'm actually sick and tired of the fake life I live back at home and the fact that I can actually just be me and do me here is also a major reason why I'm stalling and making excuses for myself. I just don't think I'm mentally prepared to go back and face that world just yet," I tell him honestly.

"Then don't," he replies.

I frown. "What do you mean by that?" I ask.

"I'm telling you not to go back and live that lie. Listen Blake, I get that you don't want to be rejected because of who you are so you're trying hard to do things just to please people but think about it sweetie, does it actually make any sense? Aren't you tired? Isn't constantly lying and suppressing yourself starting to feel like a burden? And most importantly, are you even happy? You may think all my questions aren't relevant because you've probably mentally told yourself that it's the life you have to live but no Blake, it's not,"

"No human, not even your parents should have so much power over you to the point where you completely live a false life just to please them. They shouldn't dictate who you should and shouldn't be just because they have outdated values and moral standards. Also, think about this Jason guy you've been with for over three years now. He has had to live the last three years of his life hiding behind several titles just to be around you and you think somewhere at the back of his mind, he isn't sick and tired? I get that he may love you but he's human and as humans, we all have our breaking point," he blurts, and I had to admit he struck a nerve with his words.

Have I really been caging Jason all this while? Could he possibly be tired of me but trying not to hurt me so he's staying regardless? Have I really been too selfish to notice how he really feels?

"So, you're suggesting I lose everything from one day to the next?" I ask in lower tone, knowing well my question sounded pretty idiotic.

"Losing what exactly Blake? What more could you possibly be losing at this point if not time? You're not getting any younger Blake. You can't keep depriving yourself of actually being happy. You think your career and reputation is really everything? Then what about your life? What about your freedom, your happiness and your peace of mind? Isn't it something? Shouldn't you also consider those factors in the long run, so you don't end up losing yourself in your own web of lies?" he asks rhetorically, making me feel even worse than I already felt.

"I think I've heard more than enough Sam, let's talk about something else or better still, you can just go back to bed," I say to him, hoping he would get the message and just drop the torture.

"You're really avoiding this discussion? After all I just said to you? Oh well, very typical of you, isn't it? You never appreciate hearing the truth from people who genuinely care about you. Do whatever you think is right for you Blake but don't come crying to me when it all starts go get bad," he hisses, obviously displeased by the fact that I asked him to change the subject.

"Come on Sam, you can't possibly be getting upset with me. I only said that cause I understood your advice perfectly and I honestly plan on considering it," I tell him, and his frown deepens.

"You plan on considering what exactly Blake? Did my advice sound like some sort of business proposal that needs thorough consideration? Did I ask you to consider or did I ask you to do the right thing? You know what, I'm going back to sleep because you are so annoying and you better not come anywhere next to me if you don't wanna get a beating," he replies in an irritated tone before lying back down and turning away from where I sat completely.

I let out a frustrated sigh, wishing I could actually take his advice like he wanted but even the thought alone scared me to bits, and I honestly don't see myself letting go of my false life anytime soon, except if something in me changes within the next two weeks that I spend here.