Chapter 46 A Confession
"I like you too," I mumble.
"Shit. Are you-" Dante frantically moves away from me. I hold on to him, preventing him from leaving my side. He stays in his place, poking at my face and my sides. Thankfully, I can hold myself from being ticklish. His method of making sure I'm awake by tickling me won't work. What a good time to know this trick.
Dante then lets out a sigh, relieved that I'm not awake. From how relieved Dante sounds, it seems my acting skills are improving. He said that he can see through my acts before, but this time, I have successfully fooled Dante. Thank goodness this actually works. If not, he's going to freak out and distance himself from me. I don't want that to happen. Never.
"Thank god. She's just sleeptalking," Dante says.
Silence sweeps over us once more. From how stiff Dante is lying right now, it's just a matter of time before he tries to escape from me again. I should begin my next act right now before it's too late. I can't let this chance go to waste.
"Don't leave me," I say, slurring my words to convince Dante that I'm sleeptalking and not awake. I frown as I feel Dante shift in his place again. My mind is filled with anxiety as I think of my next move.
No, no, no. Don't leave yet. Dante, stay in your goddamn place. Now what should I do? I can't let him leave just yet. I haven't even started questioning him.
"Fuck. I need to get up before she wakes up," Dante says.
With my eyes closed, I can only rely on my other senses to monitor Dante's movement. Without wasting any time, Dante slowly grabs my hand that's on his shoulder, prying it away from him. After he gently puts my hand back close to me, I pout and put it over his shoulder again. This time, I put a bit of my weight on his body, almost pinning him down. Just like before, he freezes in his place again.
I'm not letting him get away from me. I need him to confess his feelings to me before he leaves. I should start asking him questions now. It should work just fine. Hopefully, it'll actually work very well.
"I like you, too. Why don't you tell me about it sooner?" I ask sluggishly.
I sound like I'm drunk. It should be done, though, or else Dante will get suspicious. Keep going, Ale. Don't reveal your lies just yet. Calm down and keep on going.
"You're lying," Dante scoffs.
Is it that unbelievable to him? Has he watched me with his fucking eyes closed all this fucking time? I've given him so many hints! Is that not enough to convince him that I actually like him back? What makes him not believe that I like him back?
"How?" I ask.
"How? You said it yourself. You've fallen for Antonio. And even if I told you I lo- like you, we can't be together. Not now. Not ever," Dante says.
So, that's why he thinks I don't like him back. All the time we've spent together, what went through his head? That I just see him as a friend of sorts? Oh my god. I can't believe he's been so dense all this time. I clearly show him that I like him. Last night should be enough to let him know that I like him.
Gosh. What should I do with this man? Is this a sign for me to confess first? Is that how things should go? No. No way. I'm not doing that. No. Don't even think about that, Ale. Let him do it first. After this, it should be enough to let him know that I actually like him back. Maybe this will motivate him enough to confess his love for me.
"I know. I know I've said that, but I like you first. Not him. And who said we can't be together? Of course, we can," I ask, getting myself closer to him and nuzzling more into him. Dante sighs, trying to push me away, but I stay in my place.
"No, we can't. You know very well why," Dante says.
Why does he think like this? Why does he think we can't be together? Is it because of Antonio? Or is it because of my father? He should've known that I don't want to be with Antonio after what we found last night. I mean, why would I want to be with someone whose family is involved in the kidnapping and murder of my mother?
Fuck Antonio. I want you, Dante. Can't you see it? Can't you see how badly I want you? Are you that blind to not notice how much I like you?
"If you're worried about my father, I won't let him stand between us," I say, pouting and fisting my hand. I hit him weakly on the chest, proving my point. Dante lets out a sigh, not believing my words.
How should I convince him even more? I don't think I can. With my father up in our business, it will be difficult to get Dante on my side. After all, my father is his true boss, not me, and he's also in control of everything. He's in control of Dante. So, no matter the things I've said to Dante, he will always obey my father's order at the end of the day. Damn it, father.
"He can. He's done things to me for letting myself get too close to you," Dante says.
What has my father done to Dante? Has he actually punished Dante before? So that's why Dante always acts strangely when I'm too close to him. It's because of my father. No wonder he let his guard down a bit more last night. It was because my father wasn't around.
Damn it. I can't believe my father actually punished Dante just because we're getting closer. He should be grateful that Dante and I are close because he singlehandedly makes me want to stay here and not escape this place as I did before. Other than that, I've always been the one who approaches him first, not Dante. I should be the one who gets punished instead.
"What did he do to you?" I ask.
Dante stays silent, and then I feel him moving again. He's trying to leave. I won't let him. He must tell me what my father did to him. If Dante keeps getting punished because of my fault, then I guess it's better if I stay away from him, but I don't want to. I can't. What if he thinks I don't like him anymore? I don't want him to second-guess what I'm saying right now. Goddamn it. I want to wake up right now and let him know the truth. Scream it to his fucking good-looking face. Hell. I'll even kiss him just to prove that I love him back.
"Tell me. What did he do to you?" I ask. Dante grabs my hand. His touch makes me realise I'm already gripping onto his shirt out of anger towards my father.
"Damn it. How could you be this strong in your sleep?" Dante mutters. He keeps holding onto my hand, and I slowly loosen my grip, not wanting to rip a hole in his shirt. Dante continues to hold my hand in his, but nothing has come out of his mouth. No word. Nothing.
As we stay silent, I can hear Dante's heart pounding against his chest as he contemplates his choices. I wait in suspense, hoping that he'll tell me what my father has done to him. If he won't say it now, there's no chance he'll say it when I'm awake either. So, this is my only hope in finding out about my father's wrongdoings towards Dante.
Please, Dante. Please tell me what my father has done to you. I want to know what he did to you because of me.
"Fuck it. She won't remember this anyway," Dante mutters to himself. He inhales deeply, preparing himself to explain the punishment he's gotten from my father.
I hope it's not something as bad as the torture methods he's done to many of our traitors. Just imagining Dante getting tortured by my father already makes my stomach churn. I don't think I can stay quiet for too long if it turns out that my father has done the unthinkable to Dante.
"He beat me up a few times and threatened to kill me once. After he realised I'm too important for him, he spared my life and gave me another job. That's why I've been busy with him lately. I have two jobs now. One is guarding you, and the other is his informant of sorts," Dante says.
So, my father has been beating Dante up this whole time. All that just because our relationship is getting deeper than a bodyguard and a protectee. Well, my father should be thanking Dante for making me stay here instead of punishing him, because without him, I would've fled this place a long time ago. Dante is the only one who can make me stay here.
"He did those to you? I'm going to make him pay," I say, rolling to the other side of the bed slowly as I pretend to leave. Dante quickly grabs onto my waist and pulls me back to him, holding me close. He keeps me in his embrace, and I put my head on his chest again, melting into his arms.
"Don't. Don't do it. I'm fine. It's my fault for letting myself get too close to you," Dante says.
Out of nowhere, I feel my eyes tearing up. I try to hold my tears from falling, but it's already too late. My tears fall and stream down my face and onto Dante's shirt. This is like that time I burst into tears in front of him after my mother's death all over again.
Why is this happening right now? I guess I'm just feeling guilty. After all, it's my fault Dante got beaten up by my father multiple times. If we had kept our distance from each other, this wouldn't have happened. However, if we do stay away from each other, I won't be here now, and Dante would probably die in my father's hands because he failed to keep me caged in this prison called home.
"Don't leave me," I sob, gripping onto his shirt as I bury my face in his chest. This probably would make him realise I'm awake, but fuck it. I don't care.
"Are you crying? Shit. I didn't know someone could actually cry in their sleep like this. What should I do now? Uh, I won't leave, okay? Don't worry. Please don't cry. I'm here. I won't leave you," Dante says. His reassuring words only make my tears flow even more, defeating their true purpose.
Why am I so emotional right now? Fuck. It's definitely because my period is getting closer. That was the case when I cried in front of him that day.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck. I should've kept my mouth shut," Dante mutters.
Not knowing what else to do, Dante rubs my back and keeps holding me close to him. I let my tears flow freely as I sob and sniffle. I'm so going to regret this later, but I can't stop myself. My emotions have overridden my logic once again.
After who knows how long, my crying finally subsides. The loud, uncontrollable sobs now turn into quiet sniffles. Even though I'm grossed out by my own snot that is still flowing from my nostrils, I can't do anything about it. I don't want to let Dante know that I'm already awake. I need to stay committed to my act.