Chapter 45 Sleeptalking
My eyebrows furrow in confusion as my consciousness returns to my body. The way my pillow is oddly firm and warm only makes me stay there in silence with my eyes still closed. Why is my pillow hard and warm like this? Do I get a fever again? Oh no. It's not what I think it is, is it?
My eyelids open slowly, revealing the sight of a black object underneath my head. Everything stops for a second. My breathing. My heartbeat. Everything feels as though they freeze in place and time. Without any distance between us, I've been sleeping close, very close, to Dante with my head on his chest. The duvet envelops us, keeping us warm from the cold autumn air. His chest rises and falls in a slow rhythm. My head moves along with his chest as he breathes. In my ear, the sound of his heartbeat is steady, a sign that he's still in deep sleep.
How did this happen? How did we end up there? From what I remember, we were lying quite far from each other. I guess the nonexistent pillow barrier between us is to blame. Dante usually put up a line of pillows between us and he always made it clear that I couldn't cross the line. I don't mind this, though. Being in his arms and this close to him is very soothing and comforting.
I slowly look up at him, and my lips curve upwards at how peaceful Dante looks at the moment. A frown often mars his face while he's asleep, but this time, his face looks very relaxed. It seems as though no worries are clouding his mind, like there's nothing in the world that could disturb him. With how he hasn't moved away from me yet, I can confirm that Dante is still fast asleep. He's always been a light sleeper. Even the smallest movement I make will make his eyes snap open. So at this moment, he's definitely still in a far, far away land in his dream or in a tranquil void.
The movement under me makes me panic. I shut my eyes again and lay my head on his chest again, pretending to be asleep. With my eyes closed, I observe Dante's movement under me. From the way he's moving, it feels like he's still regaining his consciousness, still unaware of the situation we're in. I hear him let out a loud yawn. After a few seconds, he lets out a grunt as he stretches his body, arms, and legs. I then feel him freeze in place and hear the change of pace of his heartbeat. In my ear, I listen to how his heart is pounding frantically against his chest. I can almost hear his thoughts as he stays motionless, unsure of what to do next.
"How did-" Dante mutters and then stops himself midsentence. He begins to move again, and I frown as he grabs my hand that's over his chest and places it close to my body. With careful and slow movement, his arm that's under me begins to pull away from me. Without thinking twice, I grab his shoulder and nuzzle my face into his neck, keeping us close to each other again. He freezes in his place once again.
After a moment has passed, I feel Dante move again, attempting to get away from me. My grip tightens on his shirt, and he becomes motionless in his place. Noticing I won't let go of him anytime soon, he lets out a sigh and lies back on the bed.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Dante asks quietly.
I keep my eyes closed, pretending to be fast asleep with my ear now right over his heart. I continue to listen to his heartbeat as his breathing. His heart still beats as if he's been running for hours, and his breathing is shallow and frequent as he anxiously stay next to me. After a while, his heartbeat and breathing gradually slow down, and he's now calm again, but not as calm as he was when he was asleep.
We lie there in silence, and then I feel another movement from Dante. For a second, my heart stops as I worry he's going to try to leave me again. And then, I hear the sound of fast clicking. The noise comes from Dante's phone as he types in words after words while he's texting someone. A few minutes passed us by, and then I hear one last click and a soft thud against the nighstand. I guess he's done with texting whoever it is.
My hearing catches Dante's heartbeat going faster again, but not as fast as it was before. This time, my heart beats at the same pace as I feel the gentle touch over the side of my face. I try my best to breathe slowly and act like I'm still asleep while I pay attention to his finger brushing away some strands of hair from my face and tucks them behind my ears. Despite how rampant my heartbeat currently is, I continue to pretend that I'm fast asleep.
Calm down, Ale. Don't move and breathe slowly. You'll scare Dante away if he knows you're awake.
"I wish this could last forever," Dante says quietly.
My jaw clenches as I hold myself back from smiling. I can't smile. That's the same as snitching on myself. I can't let Dante know I'm actually wide awake. I must resist the smile and stay quiet and expressionless.
To make Dante buy my act even more, I bury my face in his neck again, smelling the fading scent of musk and bergamot from his perfume last night. I then put my hand over his shoulder and mumble some gibberish as I lay my head over his shoulder. After relaxing his once stiff body, Dante lets out a chuckle, making his chest and shoulders shake. He then sighs and continues stroking my head and hair while his other arm snakes around my back and waist.
Oh my god. I'm going insane. He's making me go insane. I can't believe this is actually happening right now. I've been waiting for this for so long.
"If only you know how much I lo- like you," Dante says.
Did he almost say he loves me? He doesn't like me, but he loves me. Oh god. I want to wake up so bad right now and tell him that I love him back, but I'm sure it'll only scare him, and then he'll start to push me away. I'm afraid that he'll become cold and distant again, like how he was when we first met. If he doesn't want to confess anytime soon, then I'll let him be. We'll find the right time to do it, whether it's soon or later.
An idea then pops into my mind. My stomach tightens at the idea, and I quickly calm myself down before giddiness takes over my body and blows my cover.
What if I pretend to talk in my sleep? Maybe just maybe, I can make him talk more about how he feels towards me through that. There's no way I can make Dante admit his feelings for me when I'm awake, so this is my only way to get him to talk for now. Yes. I should definitely do it. Now's my chance to make Dante confess his feelings to me again. This shit better actually work.