Chapter 156 Caitlyn Finds Out
CAITLYN’S POV
I found the envelope by accident and I wish I could say I was not snooping but I was not snooping and that almost made it worse because it meant he had just been careless enough to leave it somewhere I would find it.
I was looking for the insurance documents in the drawer in our bedroom where we kept important papers and the envelope was right there mixed in with everything else and it was not sealed and I opened it without even thinking about it and there was cash inside and a lot of it and a small piece of paper with an address and a number written on it that meant nothing to me but the cash meant something.
I stood there looking at the money for a long time and then I put it back and closed the drawer and sat on the edge of the bed and I thought about how much extra money had been showing up in our bank account over the past few weeks and how Jason kept saying he was picking up extra work but he had never told me exactly what work and I had not pushed because I was relieved that things were getting better.
But this cash and this envelope and this address and the way he had just left it in a drawer like it was nothing told me that whatever he was doing was not something he wanted me to know about.
He came home that evening and I was sitting on the couch and Emma was already asleep and I waited until he sat down next to me and then I said it.
"What are you doing for money Jason," I said.
He looked at me. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I found the envelope in the bedroom drawer," I said. "The one with all the cash in it."
He did not say anything right away and that pause told me everything I needed to know about whether I was going to like the answer.
"I am doing some transport work," he said.
"What kind of transport work," I said.
"I drive things from one place to another," he said. "That is it."
"What kinds of things," I said.
"Packages," he said.
"Jason," I said and I said his name slowly so he would understand I was not playing around. "What kinds of packages?"
He exhaled and he ran his hand over his face and he looked at me and he said "I do not know what is in them. I pick them up and I drop them off. Marcus sets everything up and I just drive."
"Marcus," I said. "Marcus who you used to run with before."
"Yes," he said.
I got up off the couch because I could not sit still and I walked to the kitchen and stood by the counter and I thought about what he had just told me and all the different ways it could go wrong and how I had been sitting here relieved that our money was getting better and the whole time he had been doing something like this.
"You are serious," I said.
"Caitlyn I was trying to help us," he said. "We were running out of money and I needed to do something."
"So you went back to that," I said. "After everything. After all of it. You went back to Marcus."
"I am not back to anything," he said. "It is just driving. It is just a job."
"It is not just a job," I said and I could feel my voice getting louder and I did not try to bring it back down. "You do not know what is in those packages, Jason. You are driving around with who knows what in your car and if something goes wrong you are the one sitting behind the wheel."
"Nothing has gone wrong," he said.
"You do not know that nothing will go wrong," I said. "You have no idea what you are carrying. You have no idea who these people actually are. Marcus might trust them but you do not know them."
"I have done eight runs," he said. "Eight runs and nothing happened and we have money in the account now and you are not stressed about the bills anymore."
"You lied to me," I said.
"I did not lie," he said.
"You told me it was extra work," I said. "You let me believe it was something normal."
"Because I knew you would react exactly like this," he said and he stood up from the couch. "I knew you would make it into a bigger thing than it is."
"It is a big thing Jason," I said. "You have been sneaking around doing dangerous runs and not telling me and I had to find out from a cash envelope you left in a drawer like it was nothing."
"I was going to tell you," he said.
"When," I said.
He did not answer.
"That is what I thought," I said. "You were not going to tell me. You were just going to keep doing it and keep the money coming in and hope I never found out."
"I was trying to take care of us," he said.
"I know you were," I said. "But not like this. This is not taking care of us. If you get arrested or if something happens on one of those runs what are Emma and I supposed to do then?"
He did not say anything to that and I let the silence sit there because he needed to actually think about it.
"We said we were going to figure things out together," I said. "We said that. And then the first time things got hard you went and made a decision this big without me."
"You said you did not want to ask for help," he said.
"From family," I said. "I said I did not want to ask family for help. I did not say go find Marcus and start running packages across the city."
"I am sorry," he said. "I was scared and I did not want you to be scared too and I thought I could handle it without you having to worry about it."
"I do not want you to handle things without me," I said. "I want you to talk to me."
"I know," he said. "You are right. I should have talked to you first."
"You need to stop," I said.
"Caitlyn," he said.
"No," I said. "I need you to promise me you are going to stop. Call Marcus tonight. Tell him you are done. No more runs."
He looked at me and I looked at him and I was not going to back down from this one and he knew it.
"Okay," he said. "I will call him tonight."
"Promise me," I said.
"I promise," he said. "I will call him and tell him I am done."
"Thank you," I said and I sat back down on the couch and I felt exhausted in a way that was hard to explain because I was not angry anymore I was just tired and worried and I needed a minute to just sit with all of it.
Jason sat next to me and he did not say anything and neither did I for a while.
"We will figure out the money," I said eventually. "Together. The right way."
"Yeah," he said. "Together."
I heard Emma stir in the other room and I got up to check on her and she was fine and I stood over her bassinet looking at her for a long time and I thought about how much we could not afford to mess this up and how we had to figure it out the right way or not at all.