Chapter 157 Tommy's Offer
JASON'S POV
Tommy called me on a Tuesday morning and asked if I could come by his place and I said sure and I drove over not really knowing what he wanted to talk about because he had not said much on the phone just that he wanted to catch up and have a conversation.
When I got there Marcus and Dre were already there and that was when I knew it was not just a casual visit because when all three of them were in the same room at the same time it was always about something specific.
"Sit down," Tommy said and I sat on the couch and he sat across from me and Marcus and Dre were on either side of him like this was some kind of meeting.
"What is this about," I said.
"We want to talk to you about money," Tommy said.
I looked at him and then I looked at Marcus and then I looked at Dre and none of them looked like they were joking.
"I am fine," I said.
"You are not fine," Tommy said. "And I am not saying that to make you feel bad. I am saying it because we know what is going on and we want to help."
"How do you know what is going on," I said.
"Because I pay attention," Tommy said. "You have been stressed for weeks. Caitlyn lost her job. The legal fees are piling up. It is not hard to figure out."
"We are handling it," I said.
"Jason," Dre said and he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "There is no shame in things being hard right now. You have been through a lot. Both of you have. Nobody is judging you."
"I know nobody is judging me," I said. "I just do not need help."
"We want to give you a loan," Tommy said and he just put it out there directly without any buildup and I looked at him and I did not say anything for a second.
"No," I said.
"You did not even think about it," Tommy said.
"I do not need to think about it," I said. "I am not taking a loan from you."
"Why not," Tommy said.
"Because you are my friend and I am not going to mix money into that," I said. "It always causes problems. You know that."
"This is different," Tommy said. "This is not some random situation. This is me helping you because you need help and because I can."
"I said no Tommy," I said and I said it firmly because I wanted him to hear that I was serious.
Tommy sat back and crossed his arms and looked at me and I could tell he was not done with the conversation even though I wanted it to be done.
"How much are you short," Marcus said.
"Marcus," I said.
"Just tell me," Marcus said.
"I am not telling you how much I am short because I am not taking anyone's money," I said.
"We are not just anyone," Dre said. "That is the whole point. We are your people. When something is going wrong with one of us we fix it together and right now something is going wrong with you."
"I have it handled," I said.
"You called Marcus about the transport runs," Tommy said and I went quiet because I had not told Tommy about that and I did not know who had told him but it did not matter because he knew.
"That is between Marcus and me," I said.
"Caitlyn found out," Tommy said. "You told me she found out and she was furious and you promised to stop. So now you have stopped the runs and you still have the same money problem and you have no plan."
"I have a plan," I said even though that was not entirely true.
"What is the plan," Tommy said.
I did not answer right away and Tommy looked at me and waited and I still did not answer because I did not actually have a solid plan and he knew that.
"That is what I thought," Tommy said. "Let us help you."
"I do not want to owe anyone anything," I said. "I already feel like we have leaned on people too much. We stayed at your place for over a month. You have already done enough."
"Letting you stay here was not a favor," Tommy said. "That was just what you do for family. And this is the same thing. It is not a favor. It is just what you do."
"It is a loan," I said. "That is different."
"Then pay it back when you can," Tommy said. "No interest. No timeline. When Caitlyn gets a job and things stabilize you pay back whatever you can and we are square. That is it."
"Tommy I am not comfortable with this," I said.
"I know you are not," Tommy said. "But you need to think about Caitlyn and Emma and not just your pride. Your pride is not going to pay the rent."
That landed and I knew he was right even though I did not want to say it out loud.
"How much are we talking," Dre said.
"We are not talking numbers because I have not agreed to anything," I said.
"But you are thinking about it," Marcus said.
I looked at him and I did not say anything and that was basically saying yes.
"We put together five thousand," Tommy said. "The three of us. It is already done. You just have to say yes."
"You already put it together," I said.
"We did," Tommy said. "Because we knew you were going to say no at first and we wanted to make it harder for you to say no."
"That is manipulative," I said.
"That is love," Tommy said. "Same thing sometimes."
Dre laughed a little and even Marcus smiled and I sat there looking at all three of them and I thought about the rent and the legal fees and Caitlyn lying awake at night worrying and Emma who did not understand any of it but needed things to be okay anyway.
"If I take this," I said. "I am paying every single cent of it back. I am not taking it as a gift."
"We know," Tommy said.
"And I get to decide the timeline," I said. "Not you."
"Fine," Tommy said.
"And nobody tells Caitlyn it came from you all," I said. "Not yet. Let me tell her when the time is right."
"That is on you," Tommy said. "We are not getting in the middle of that."
"Okay," I said and I sat there for another second and then I said "okay I will take it."
Tommy nodded and Dre nodded and Marcus leaned back like this was exactly what he had expected from the beginning and maybe it was.
"Thank you," I said and I said it quietly because it was hard to say and they all knew it was hard and none of them made a big deal out of it which was the right thing to do.
"You would do the same for any of us," Tommy said. "That is all this is."
"I would," I said. "And I will. When I am back on my feet I am going to do the same for whoever needs it."
"We know that," Dre said.
I drove home that afternoon and I sat in the car outside our building for a few minutes before going up and I thought about how hard it was to let people help and how sometimes letting people help was actually the harder thing to do and not the easier thing and how I needed to stop confusing pride with strength because they were not the same thing.
Then I went upstairs and Caitlyn was feeding Emma and she looked up at me when I walked in and she said "how was Tommy's" and I said "good" and she said "yeah" and I said "yeah everything is okay" and she looked at me for a second like she was deciding whether to ask more questions and then she just said "good" again and went back to Emma.
I sat down on the couch and I told myself I was going to tell her soon about where the money came from and that
I was going to do it the right way and not let it become another secret and I meant it when I told myself that.
I really did mean it.