Chapter 97 Chapter 97
The thought wouldn’t leave me alone. It clung to my ribs and pressed against my lungs until every breath felt jerked.
Why is she still here?
I had been caught up in my loss that I had forgotten all about her. Seeing her now, caused something in me. Anger.
“What are you thinking about?” Lina’s voice cut into my thoughts. Her eyes followed my movements.
“I see you are looking at Elara. She has been acting like a pack member” Lina voiced out my thoughts. Luckily, I was not the only person seeing it.
“I still wonder how she was able to visit the children the same day we planned on going there. Makes me think she’s always listening to our conversation”
“I’ll be back” I simply told Lina and left her.
I marched to Lucian’s office, anger boiling in my veins. Guards and servants bowed as I passed but I spared no one a glance. I thought of all to say to Lucian when I got to his office. Maybe it was time to tell him the last thing I remembered before I became unconscious.
I lifted my hand and knocked once before pushing the door open. Lucian was behind the desk with his sleeves rolled up as he read through a stack of papers. He looked up instantly when I entered and for a second I forgot the reason I came to his office and admired him.
‘Now is not the time for admiration’ my wolf said and I composed myself.
If Lucian smells my arousal then he would use that to distract me.
“Ailsa, you should be resting” his voice was soft.
“I don’t want to rest” I replied closing the doors.
“I want answers”
“Have I ever lied to you?” He said leaning back slowly, studying me.
I pressed my lips together. I didn’t have an answer to that but we would come to that later.
“What’s wrong?” I took a step forward.
“Why is Elara still here?” He exhaled.
“We’ve talked about this before” I shook my head.
“No. The only thing we talked about was her leaving” I said quietly.
He stood and came around the desk, standing in my front. His close proximity made me want to wrap my hands around his neck and kiss him but I refrained from doing that.
“I have been so busy because we just lost…” he stopped himself, pian flickering across his face.
“I’m still looking into her claims. If I send her away now and something happens…”
“That’s not what we agreed on” I cut in, my anger rising. He drew his brows together.
“Ailsa..”
“You told me a week and I only agreed to that because I thought you would keep to your word” I said, my voice almost shaky.
“You told me you would handle it. And now she’s walking around the pack like she belongs here. That’s too say she has become too comfortable here”
“She’s under watch, Ailsa. She’s not free to do whatever she wants” I laughed bitterly.
“You call that being watched? She’s goes to share sweets to the children and she eats at the table and you say she’s not free to do what she wants?” He reached for me but I stepped back. I didn’t want his touch clouding my senses.
“I’m trying not to make a mistake. The moment I’m convinced that she’ll be safe when she goes then she’ll leave”
“Now you’re defending her” I added, the words slipping out before I could stop them. “Just like you always do” Lucian stiffened.
“That’s not fair”
“Isn’t it? But did I lie?” My eyes burned. “Tell me you don’t feel anything for her. Look me in the eye and say it” his jaw clenched.
“The only thing I feel for her is pity” my wolf stirred uneasily.
He didn’t look at me while he said it.
My heart twisted. I was not going to be a second option to anyone.
“Why do you keep finding reasons to keep her close?” He dragged a hand through his hair.
“Because I can’t act on emotion right now. I need to be logical. Look at it from my own perspective, please” his voice strained.
“You are being too kind to her, Lucian. You don’t want to admit it to yourself but you still feel something for her. You keep denying it, but it’s glaring” he flinched.
“That’s cruel” he said.
“So is this” I shot back.
“You keep telling me to trust you and you don’t feel anything for her but you keep ignoring what I’m telling you. I don’t trust her, Lucian. And I won’t pretend I do just to keep the peace” there was a pause, we were both breathing heavily.
“I will resolve this quickly. I promise” he finally said. I searched his face looking for certainty but I didn’t see any.
“See that you do because I won’t live like this. You would force me to make a decision that would hurt us” I said quietly.
I turned and walked out before he could respond. I’d wait a few more days and if he doesn’t do anything. It’s me that would be leaving.
By evening, I was calmer and Lina informed me that I would be having dinner with Lucian and some of his close men. It was a small gathering but also to foster unity.
I arrived at dinner in my peach dress and I took my seat beside Lucian. His hand brushed my thigh beneath the table. He gave me a small smile and mouthed a thank you. I had a choice of not being here but I wanted to play my part as Luna. I smiled at everyone on the table.
Moments later, Elara arrived. She wore a pale blue dress. Her hair was braided to the back, her movements respectful. She greeted the table with a bow. My whole mood changed immediately.
“Thank you for allowing me to join” she said gently. “I don’t want to intrude” Lucian nodded.
“You’re a guest. Have a seat”
My fingers tightened around my cup as I brought it to my lips. Lucian tried to hold my hands but I moved it away. The meal was served and it began smoothly. Conversations flowed, laughter rose and fell. Then Elara spoke.
“I wanted to say something” she said softly, her eyes lowered.
“Only if I’m permitted” she looked at Lucian. My eyes followed her gaze and he looked at her.
“Go ahead”
The attention had shifted and everyone was looking at Elara, waiting for her to speak.
“I wanted to thank you for allowing me the space to heal here. After everything…I’d forgotten what safety looked like”
Murmurs followed, sympathetic and warm. I continued eating, not bothered about Elara’s sympathetic display.
“I know my presence has caused a stir. Especially given recent events, I really would never cause anybody trouble or pain. I’m only here because the Alpha permitted me to” my head snapped towards Lucian. He wasn’t looking at me.
“I’ve tried to be useful. To help where I can. Not because I belong here but because I owe this pack my life. I don’t want to feel like a burden here and that’s why I’m trying to help out” Elara added.
“That’s enough” I said sharply.
The table went still. Elara looked startled and hurt. Lucian frowned.
“Ailsa….” I cut in.
“I won’t sit here and watch this” I said, standing.
“I didn’t mean…” Elara’s voice trembled
“She never does” I snapped. Lucian rose as well.
“That’s enough, Ailsa. Elara hasn’t done anything wrong”
The words hit me hard.
“There it is. You always choose her”
“That’s not what this is” he said.
“It doesn’t matter what you call it. It’s what it feels like”
I turned and walked out of the hall, ignoring the stunned silence behind me.
Laughter made me blink my eyes. Did I just imagine that? Why did I think of such a scenario. And that’s when Elara turned to me.
“Thank you for welcoming me. It takes a generous heart to accept someone who has caused this pack so much pain” I scoffed in my mind.
She was trying to garner sympathy and maybe it was working. I put on the fakest smile ever known. I’m sure she noticed it but didn’t speak on it. I didn’t want to cause a scene here. That would be left for Lucian when we were in our room. He would explain why Elara was invited to this dinner and I wasn’t aware.
“You’re welcome” her gaze lingered on me and she continued.
“I know how difficult transitions can be. Becoming Luna….its such a heavy role. If you ever need support…” Lucian cut in.
“That won’t be necessary” he said calmly. She dipped her head in a bow, a perfectly obedient bow that look practiced.
“Of course”
But as she lowered her eyes, I saw the triumph in her eyes, a small smile on her lips.
I realized something as I stared at Elara. She had no plans of leaving.