Chapter 22 Chapter 22
The evening sir was cool against my sweat- damp skin as I pushed through the final set of drills. I could concentrate well now because Lucian was awake, my worries had been put to rest. I had completely ignored my ribs and even though it didn't hurt so much any more it ached from time to time.
After the hit to my rib, I didn't spar with Dahlia and luckily for me she didn't disturb me either. My training was peaceful and there was no one to taunt me. During training my wolf kept pestering me to check up on Lucian.
'Go to him, he's awake now' she urged me.
'I can't go to him. I was able to stay because he wasn't awake but now I can't face him. I don't even know if he'll be happy to see me'
'How would you know if you don't try?' She made sense but still I couldn't go.
My opponent hit me on the shoulder, interrupting my thoughts. The pain traveled to my neck.
"Distracted?" She said and I nodded.
"Let's take a break" my opponent said and I couldn't be any happier. My attention was divided.
Should I go to him or not? The bond was calling to me to be with my mate but I was hesitant. I didn't want to acknowledge this. I didn't want to feel.
"Impressive" Damian's voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to face him. He had a smile on his face.
"Damian" I whispered.
"You lasted longer today, I almost thought you'd be hit like last time." He said with a smirk and I rolled my eyes.
"Were you trying to forget something or you became good overnight" he said with a curious look.
"It's the latter" I said and we both laughed.
"I'm proud of you though. You arrived as a rogue that everyone disliked and now it seems people adore you now"
I knew he was teasing me and so I chuckled. It was true that everyone disliked me and I didn't believe even for a second that anyone adored me.
"You seem lost in thought? Is something bothering you?"
"N-no, not at all. I'm just tired. Sparring the evening can be quite tiring"
"Training is better in the night, that way you are more energized and concentrated"
"My body doesn't agree with you one bit. I prefer training in the morning. You know I have to work hard"
"You've worked hard already, I don't know why you have to keep proving yourself. You should be resting"
"I've not proved myself enough. I have to prove that I belong here"
"You've saved a child without even thinking of the consequences to your life. That's the most selfless thing I've seen in a long time" his gaze softened.
"Anyone would have done that"
"Not anyone. Most people would have thought of saving their lives first" for a moment, I didn't know what to say, the sincerity in his eyes made my chest tighten.
As if he sensed the thickening tension in the air, he chuckled softly.
"You should have seen the Alpha that night"
"The alpha?" My head snapped up
"Yeah. The alpha himself, you should have seen his face when you had gotten hurt in the field" I blinked, uncertain how to respond.
"He....was just doing his duty. Protecting a pack member, he could have done it for anyone else" he laughed and I frowned.
"Sure" he said. "If you believe that. I've never seen him act like that before....not for anyone. Not even when his mate..." he stopped, frowning slightly as if he had said too much.
Mate
The word rang in my head.
"What about his mate?" He hesitated.
"Nothing. Forget, I said anything. It's not my story to tell"
It was too late to go back now. The words stuck in my head. Lucian had a mate. I wanted to ask more but a bell rang and Damian straightened.
"Duty calls but I'm not done with you yet" his grin returned.
"Next time you owe me a proper conversion. We'll talk about you. I want to know everything about you" I shook my head still smiling but the warmth faded away quickly replaced by the weight of his unfinished statement.
His mate.
Who was she? And if he had a mate what was I? Where was she?
The words wouldn't leave me alone.
By the time I returned to my quarters, night had settled fully over the pack grounds. Dinner was light as usual but the chattering by others had me wanting to disappear. The corridors were quiet, shadows flickering over the light. I told myself to rest and forget about Damian's words but my mind kept circling back.
Lucian had a mate once. That much was clear. Was she gone? Dead or did he reject her?
The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't feel anything when it came to him. He was nothing to me, just like I was nothing to him. Yet when I remembered his face as he laid down motionless on the bed, my chest tightened.
I reached my door,hesitated ams heard footsteps behind me, slow and deliberate. Heavy with authority.
“Training again?” His voice was low,controlled and there was something sharp in his tone.
I turned my pulse quickening despite myself. Lucian stood a few steps away, dressed in black, his hair damp. The light caught his face illuminating his well shaped jaw. I wanted to caress his face and know how he was doing.
“I was cleared to train” I said, forcing my voice to be steady. “I can’t stay indoors forever” his eyes darkened.
“You were barely healed”
“I’m fine now. By the way, weren’t you hurt? Are you supposed to be out of bed?”
“You don’t get to ask me any questions” I folded my eyes.
“The last time I checked what ever I do is not supposed to concern you either” I looked in his eyes as I spoke those words and there was an angry look in his eyes.
“Have you forgotten so soon that I’m the reason you are still alive. I am your keeper and whatever you do here is my business”
“You are not my keeper. I am not scared of you”
I said those words slowly it would sink into his head.
The silence that followed was thick enough to choke on. His gaze burned into me, fierce and unreadable. I should have backed down but something inside me, something reckless and raw mad me stand my ground. Then he took a step closer.
“Do you ever think before you speak?” His voice dropped to a low whisper.
“You don’t have an idea what you do in this place. What you do to….me” his last words slipped out before he could stop it.
I saw it in the way his expression faltered, a flash of regret or surprise. I didn’t know which one it was. My heart slammed against my ribs.
“Then maybe you should tell me” I said quietly. “Because I don’t understand any of it” he exhaled, low and harsh.
“You’re not supposed to”
“I didn’t ask for this either, Alpha” I emphasized on his title and my voice trembled slightly. “But pretending the bond doesn’t exist won’t make it go away” his hands clenched at his sides.
“Don’t say that” his voice was harsh
“Why not? It’s the truth, isn’t it? It’s messing with my head. I just want everything to go away”
He moved before I could blink, closing the space between us until the air felt alive, charged with electricity. His scent filled my lungs as he trapped me in that little space.
“You drive me insane” he said, his voice was a growl.
“You disobey my every order, push my boundary….”
“It’s because you treat me like a problem to be fixed” I shot back. “Like you can’t decide what to do with me or…”
“Or what?”
The question hung between us, heavy and dangerous. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
My heart beat thundered in my ears,and his eyes….goddess, his eyes locked on mine like a predator that had seen its prey. Before I could say another word, his hands lifted. His fingers brushed my jaw, tilting my face upward. The touch was hesitant, almost trembling. I wanted him to make the move. I knew I should stop this before things got out of hand, but I wanted him too.
“Lucian……”
It was barely a whisper but it broke whatever control he had left.
His lips found mine, fierce and desperate like he had been fighting the urge for too long. The kiss stole my breath,burnt through every defense I thought I had left. For a moment, I forgot everything, the pain, the fear and the distance I should be keeping from him. There was only this….the two of us and the fire that
couldn’t be quenched.
But just as suddenly as it began, he pulled away breathing hard, eyes with something close to panic.
“This shouldn’t happen” he muttered, stepping back. “I can’t…” he stopped himself, shaking his head.
Then without another word, he turned and walked down the corridor, leaving me standing there, heart racing, lips still tingling from his kiss. The air felt colder without him.
I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to steady the wold beat of my heart. I was tempted to chase after him and demand an explanation for what he said but my feet felt stuck.
I opened the door quietly and climbed into my bed, a tear running down my cheek.