Chapter 21 Chapter 21
ALPHA LUCIAN'S POV
Darkness.
That was the first thing I became aware of. Thick, endless darkness. The kind that pressed into your lungs and made you forget where you ended and where it began. Was I dead?
Then pain.
A deep, raw ache in my side, spreading like fire licking up bone and nerve. I tried to move, but my body felt like stone. Heavy and foreign. Voices drifted around me, faint murmurs echoing like whispers through water.
And then I saw her.
Ailsa.
Not the real one....no, this was a dream. Her hair flowed around her like silk in the moonlight. Her eyes were soft and wide, but her mouth trembled with something like fear. She reached out to me, and I felt warmth bloom across my chest where her hand would've touched.
"Please," she whispered. "Don't die."
I wanted to speak. To tell her I wasn't going anywhere. To say her name. To reach for her. But the world slipped again, swallowing her in black.
I didn't know how long I floated there. Trapped between fire and ice, dreams and shadows. The pain tethered me to something...something real. But it was her voice that guided me back.
"Please... just let him live."
That voice didn't sound like a dream.
It sounded like now. My eyes snapped open.
The room was dim, lit only by flickering lamplight. The scent of herbs and blood was sharp in the air. My muscles screamed as I shifted.
A soft groan escaped my throat. Almost immediately, someone was beside me.
"Lucian?"
Aiden.
He leaned over me, relief flashing across his features. "You're awake."
I blinked at him, trying to piece the fragments of memory together. Everything was hazy. Flashes of battle. The rogue with the blade. The blood-soaked through my shirt. My claws sank into someone's throat. I forced my voice out, thick and hoarse.
"What... happened?" Aiden gently pushed me back against the mattress when I tried to sit up. The pain restricting my movements.
"You took a blade to the side. Deep. You fought until we reached you....you didn't stop even with the wound, brat." I grunted.
"Rogues?" I asked weakly.
"Driven back. Casualties, but not as many as we feared." My head swam.
"How long?"
"Two days," he said. "You've been unconscious since they dragged you in. The healer nearly lost you the first night. You lost a lot of blood."
That explained the bone-deep ache. The tightness of bandages around my torso. My eyes scanned the room, still adjusting to the shadows. And then I remembered the dream.
No...not a dream. A voice. Her voice.
Ailsa.
I licked my cracked lips.
"Was... someone here?" Aiden raised a brow.
"You mean besides the healer and warriors?" I shook my head slightly.
"A girl."
He didn't answer immediately. That told me everything. He knew what I was asking about.
"She was here, wasn't she?" Aiden sighed.
"You were bleeding out, Lucian. She saw it happen. She followed the warriors back like a ghost. Refused to leave until she knew you were alive."
A strange heat settled in my chest, pain mixed with something more fragile.
"She prayed," he added after a pause. "In the shrine. The guards saw her. Said she was crying." I swallowed, something thick and sharp forming in my throat.
"Why?" Aiden stared at me.
"Why do you think?"
I turned away from him, unable to answer. Because I didn't know. Or maybe I did and I didn't want to admit it. She was supposed to be a problem. A rogue. A threat. She isn't supposed to care.
But all I could see when I closed my eyes was the curve of her lips when she smiled despite her pain. The fire in her when she fought, even when she had no strength left. The softness in her voice when she thought I wouldn't hear.
Please don't let him die.
A memory or a hallucination...I wasn't sure which. But it felt real. Too real.
"She shouldn't have come," I muttered, dragging a hand over my face. He chuckled dryly.
"You say that, but it's the first time I've seen her look... terrified. Gutted, even. I was scared too."
I didn't answer. Because the image of her tears of her whispering to the Moon Goddess had lodged somewhere in my chest, right next to the pain.
"She's training again," Aiden said, changing the subject. "Took a few days to get back into it, but she's pushing hard. Her wound has healed properly."
"Good," I said. Then I winced. My side pulsed again. Aiden smirked.
"You know, most Alphas would rest after being gutted."
"I'm not most Alphas." I tried to grin but the pain in my side didn't let me.
"No, you're a stubborn ass who nearly got himself killed." He crossed his arms. "And I assume you'll want a full report. We found something during the cleanup something I think you'll want to see when you're able." My attention snapped to him interested to know what they had found when I was wounded.
"What?"
"I'll wait until you can focus. Trust me, Lucian. It's important." I gritted my teeth.
"Don't keep things from me, Lucian. If there's something you want to show me or tell me then do it now."
"It's not about her," he said quickly. "If that's what you're thinking. This is... something else. A lead we weren't expecting."
That gave me pause. Another threat? Is a shadow moving in the background? I'd deal with it. Just not now. I nodded slowly.
"Give me a few hours." He stepped back, his eyes flickering over my still-bleeding side.
"You sure you don't want a healer in here first?"
"I'll manage." He left without arguing.
I leaned back, head spinning, chest tight. Ailsa had been here. She'd stayed. She'd cared.
That wasn't supposed to mean anything. She was a rogue, a burden, a complication I didn't ask for.
But I still saw her in the dark. I still heard her voice and I knew no matter how hard I tried to ignore it she wasn't just a complication anymore.
She was a fracture in everything I thought I believed. And I didn't know what the hell I was going to do about it. I winced from the pain in my side.
'Send for our mate. Let her know we are alive
No. I wouldn't do that, I don't want her to see me at my lowest. I don't want her care. I don't want to feel anything.
'It's too late for this and you know it'
It's not too late. We can send her away now before things get out of hand.
'You won't be able to bear it if we send her away. We need her more than you realize if you haven't noticed that already'
I don't need her. I don't need anyone. She'll leave. They always leave. I don't want that.
'That woman is gone it's high time you accept it'
Don't call that name.
I couldn't deny it but I wanted to see Ailsa and touch her face. I wanted to tell her everything was fine and she shouldn't be worried. I wanted to see her smile. My body became hot when I thought about her smile and how it made me feel. I wanted her to smile for only me and no other man.
The kiss we shared came to my mind and I wanted to do it again. I wanted to hold her while she melted into the kiss.
'Stop it' I told myself. You are barely alive and you're thinking about getting laid. It has been a long time since I got laid.
That last thought on my mind as I drifted off to sleep was Ailsa.