SHE

SHE
 At some point last night, we must have fallen asleep, when my eyes peel open the next morning, I find that we had halved the bottle of wine, and my head banged, I wince at the stream of sunlight that poured into the room, pulling myself up to sit in bed, the room was empty, Richard had disappeared, my stomach twists, and my throat tickles, I pull myself out of bed and into the bathroom, my head in the toilet bowl, and I dry heave, my chest tightened with feelings of abandonment, I chastise myself, I had no right to feel that, I had abandoned Abed.
 By the time I finished brushing my teeth and was back in the main room, the smell of warm, and freshly made food hits me.
“Good morning Rachie.”
I jump at the sound of Richard’s voice, clutching my chest, it seems he was also startled by me, he almost spills the food he had been arranging on the table.
 “You didn’t leave?” I ask, matching straight to the table.
“Why would I? Are you tired of me already?”
I pull a seat for myself at the table, tucking my hair behind my ear, I stare wide eyed at the food.
 “Even if you are, bear with me, you are an ex competitor, I have to make sure you don’t pull any dirty tricks even after claiming you dropped out of the race.”
 I bring my eyes to meet his, shaking my head,
“You speak like you did that quite a lot, lie about dropping out and then stabbing Abed in the back.”
He shrugs as he finally sits, taking an exaggerated inhale, he shuts his eyes, a smile that did not resemble Abed’s at all, lines his face.
 “Just to let you know, I don’t usually do this for my competitors, ex or not.”
I pick up a spoon and dip it into the soup,
“Right, you just fall in love with them.”
He bursts into a laugh, clutching the sides of his stomach, even as I ate, he continued to laugh, I shake my head, the food was too good and just the right amount of warm to say anything.
 “That was so funny.” he says in between laughs, I don’t tell him it is not half as funny as he was making it out to be.
When we were done eating, I trudge to the bed, ready to get under the covers again when he makes me pause.
 “I didn’t forget, thank you for the food.” I murmur.
“That’s not it, are your plans moping around?”
I blink, glancing around as if watching with new eyes, and then realizing that I have zero plans.
 “Yeah, that’s about it.”
He scoffs, “It sounds to me like you are waiting here for him to come find you.”
Maybe. But I jut out my chin defiantly,
 “No I am not.”
He smirks, “Good, because I am actually in need of someone to go somewhere with me.”
Wearily I eye him, knowing I have walked into some kind of trap,
 “Where?”
“I finally admitted to myself that it isn’t just a phase, it is real, I am who I am. I found a group of people like me, they gather once a month, and luckily that is tonight, but I can’t go alone or I will chicken out.” 
  My mouth stretched into a small smile,
“If it’s tonight, then you should let me mope around the entire day.”
“Not when we both have to shop for clothes, we definitely cannot go in these ones, and none of us can go back home.”
 He had a point, I look down at the bed with longing, I was hoping to replace Abed’s warm arms around me with the blanket, but I guess that is not in my future.
 “You owe me.”
He hums in response as he steers me with my shoulders, towards the bathroom, I groan just before slipping inside. Richard didn’t even have to ask, I would do this for him in a heart beat. He did so much for me, when I was certain I was going to give up, he was right here to pull me back up, and he was fighting his own battles.
   By the time I was out, I find something was missing,
“Did you drink the rest of the wine? Where is the bottle?” 
He blinked up from the magazine he was reading,
 “Oh that, they cleaned the room while you were in the bathroom.”
They cleaned the room? My eyes scan the room, it was the same as I left it, save for the missing bottle. I shake my head, that was none of my business, dressing in my old clothes, I find my phone, still switched off, I leave it that way just before matching out of the room with Richard who claimed to have showered while I was sleeping.
 “Do you think it would be a good idea bringing me? I have bad rep right now, and I don’t want to steal your spotlight.” I tell him as we walk through the mall. I had my hoodie up and my eyes still darted around just in case someone recognized me.
“It is a community of acceptance, I think they would be accepting of you.” he says with a smile that dissolves when he sees me.
 “Haven’t you been in public since the thing happened?”
I shake my head, the only public i have been in was Manumit, an accepting public, here children ran around and their mothers ran after them.
 “Well, the public should go fuck themselves, you shouldn’t let it get to you.” 
I tell myself that over and over, but once I am lost in a sea of really cute outfits, I forget all that the public have against me.
 “Give me your old clothes.” Richard asks as we walk out of the mall together, sunglasses perched on our noses.
I give it no thought and hand him the clothes, he takes me to a hair dresser, dropped a wad of cash on the table and the woman gets to work, making sure nobody takes a picture of me, and nobody tells anyone what they have seen.
 By the time we were done with our shopping(Richard seemed too eager, stopping at every store to get one thing or the other, where does he keep pulling all that cash out of???)
 His answer to the last question,
“It’s a trade secret, but you need to have cash everywhere, in case of emergencies.” he says with a shrug, and the only time I got close to understanding him was when I spot him pulling out a bag of cash from the stairs of one building. What the hell was that??!
 “You haven’t been shopping in a while right?”
He laughs as the car he got from the parking lot, he insists it wasn’t stolen he left it there for himself to find if he needed a quick getaway, rolls into the parking lot.
 “Are you ready for this?” I ask him,
He turned to me, a smile on his face, one I didn’t trust,
 “Are YOU ready for this?”