SHE

SHE
 “My first argument when I realized my feelings for my brother went beyond family love, was, Abed was the first person I knew and relied on, and maybe I was feeling thankful and misinterpreting my own feelings. I think that it is the same with you, he helped you when you had no place to go,  and when the world turned against you. I mean you never properly dated anyone back in school, and you definitely didn’t as an actress, all those pent up feelings had to go somewhere.”
 My stomach felt like it was being carved out, he was right, but I didn’t agree with him, Abed was the first man I felt this strongly for, my entire body reacted to him, and that included my heart. He had no right to interpret my feelings for me.
 “We are here for you though, everyone here will be like you, here is no place to find someone for me..” I gesture around us, the noise from beyond the gates tells us we were missing out on so much fun.
 “Well, thankfully, people like me, have brought people like you, people here to support them.” he says with a grin, a Richie grin, my mouth curves like it always did when he gave me the Richie grin.
 Walking into the... festival--the only word I knew to describe it, there were people everywhere, and the music thumped, it was so loud here I knew having a conversation would be impossible. I felt Richard’s hand slip out of my own, I try to grab him but I am met with his slippery fingers.
 “THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF THIS IS TO MINGLE, YOU SHOULD TOO.” he shouts over the music, a grin on his face, and a drink in his hand, where did he get it?
I open my mouth to object to us separating, but he had already disappeared into the crowd, panic immediately sets in, I try to move in the direction he disappeared into, but I am pulled backwards by the crowd, and after three tries to reach him, I give up, turning and twisting, pushing past people, looking for a denser area.
 I find it, there were very few people here, a few of them were making out, I turn away from them, and realize I can hear waves crashing, and from the salty sea breeze, it dawned on me that we were at the beach, a place I wanted to be, but couldn’t.
 Walking closer to the sea, I stand at the bank, tempted to take a dip, but no matter how much I missed the water, going in this late at night, while surrounded by drunk people would be suicide. Instead I opt for dipping my toes in, quickly slipping off my shoes, I wiggle my toes in the water, and watch how the water licks at them like puppies.
 All of a sudden, all is right with the world again, I twirl in the water, my eyes up at the inky sky, a small contented sigh slips out of my mouth, when all of a sudden I see a flash go off, instinctively I knew it was a camera, the paparazzi??
 My eyes search for the owner of the camera, sweeping the entire beach, but nobody was looking my way, until it landed on a guy in a white T shirt, and a sweater over it, he looked at me sheepishly, and he walks towards me.
 “I am so sorry, I promised Miya I wouldn’t work today, but I couldn’t resist, force of habit I suppose, Miya also says it is the reason I get ghosted all the time.” he offered a guilty smile.
 “You people have no shame, haven’t you done enough??”
His eyes widen behind his glasses, 
“What...?”
“What magazine do you work for?”
“Magazine? No, I am a photographer... usually I take pictures of nature, blame Miya for making me come to my natural habitat.” He chuckles,
I eye him for a second, weighing if I should believe him or not, he had a small camera in hand, and a face that screamed sincere, but then again, I thought Abed was sincere.
 “Why did you take a picture of me then? I am not a part of nature.”
“Of course not, you are even more beautiful.”
My eyes widen a fraction, but his turn into saucers, my cheeks burn, even when I press my palm against it, it is hot, despite the cool air.
 “If you want me to delete it, I would, although I would like you to see it first, see you through my eyes.”
I felt flustered, unsure what to do, at events, people flirted with me, but I ended up scaring them away by just smiling.
 “Let me see.” I ended up saying, tucking my hair behind my ear just before he hands the camera to me, I watch as the water licked his ankles, soaking his shoes and the cuffs of his pants. He doesn’t seem to notice, his eyes are on me.
 I find the picture he took and I actually gasp a little, it was breathtaking, I haven’t seen that side of me ever, my eyes were shut, my head tilted upwards, he catches me mid spin, I actually look peaceful.
 “It would be a shame to delete it, you went through all that trouble.”
“I did nothing, you did everything, clicking the picture is something anyone can do, but only you can look like this.”
Again, my face is flaming, I look everywhere but him, his words were beautiful, and if I have come here willingly to mingle and to forget Abed, then this photographer fixing his glasses and his hesitant smile would not be a bad idea.
 “Connor Law, more than a pleasure to meet you.”
He stretches his hand out, I hesitate, wondering if he knew me or not, and if he knew about my scandal, and what it would mean.
 “Rachel... Rachel Greene.” I say, waiting for realization to fill his eyes, make an excuse before running away, but his eyes never light up, instead he tests out the name on his tongue.
 I put his camera in his outstretched hand, before walking out of the water, it was starting to get really cold.
“Rachel Greene, it is my pleasure to meet you.” he says beaming, following me out of the water.
Usually, people’s response to hearing my name was, asking if I was named after the sitcom character, even Richard asked, but this Connor doesn’t.
 “Are you here with someone as well?” I ask as I scan the area, in case I somehow find Richard, I don’t.
“Yeah, Miya, my little sister, she would kill me if she heard me call her little.” he chuckled, he obviously loves his sister very much, like Abed... I catch my thoughts, no more of Abed tonight.
“I came with a friend, but is he really a friend if he ditched me the second we got here?”
He laughs,
“First time?”
“Is it obvious?”
“Not so much, but if your eyes keep wandering away from me, it might seem a little obvious.”
We pause walking, opting to face each other there, he was right, I was comparing the way he called my name to the way Abed called it, Abed won by a landslide, i had to stop if I wanted to make a change.
 Just then, someone drunkenly walks up to him, she collapsed against him, 
“Miya!” he gasped in horror,
“Is she okay?” 
He sighs, “She will be, but I have to take her home.”
 Disappointment fills my gut, he was leaving, and I didn’t have a phone to take his phone number.
“Would you like to do coffee tomorrow?” he asks, one hand around his sister, the other digging out his phone.
I wince, “I don’t have a phone at the moment.”
 His face crumples, I watch his lower lip tremble slightly,
“Oh, nice talking to you, have a wonderful night.”
He turns to walk away, I frown, wondering what he might, until I realize he thinks I was lying, I go after him, because of his sister, they haven’t walked so far.
 “I mean it, for some personal reasons, but i will call you if you give me your number.”
He beamed at me, and then got to work, he found a piece of paper in his sister’s bag, he wrote his number down, his name and his address, I chuckle.
 As I watch him walk away, I think to myself,
“I have a date tomorrow, and it’s not with Abed.”