Chapter 48
Kieran's POV
I stood outside our triple-decker, breath fogging in the November cold, watching Mom unload supplies from the storage unit. Burger patties, hot dog buns, industrial-size condiments. The cart's wheels squeaked against the cracked pavement.
"You should sleep more," Mom said, not looking at me. "It's Thanksgiving break. You don't need to help with this."
I grabbed the heaviest box with my left hand, tucking my right against my side out of habit. The weight made my shoulder burn. "I've got a tutoring session this afternoon anyway."
She paused. "Tutoring? Kieran, you're seventeen. Is that even legal?"
"Coach Anderson set it up. Private physics help for his nephew. Eighth grader." I shifted the box to my hip. "Fifty dollars an hour."
I'd done the math. Four sessions a week through December, plus the winter break intensive, and I'd have enough for Lily's next round of audiology appointments. Maybe even a down payment on the cochlear implant consultation.
The screen door banged open. Lily appeared in her too-small winter coat, the one with the broken zipper. Her little backpack bounced as she hopped down the stairs.
"Are we going to the city?" she asked, her words slightly slurred around the consonants. The hearing aid in her left ear caught the morning light.
"Yeah, munchkin." I crouched to tie her shoes. "You're gonna wait at the Dunkin' while I work, remember? With your book."
She nodded seriously, clutching the worn copy of The Little Prince I'd found at a library sale.
Mom watched us with that expression I'd learned to hate—the one that said she knew she was failing us. I stood up quickly, avoiding her eyes.
"We should get moving. The Red Line gets packed on holidays."
Mom pressed a crumpled five-dollar bill into my hand. "For lunch. Both of you."
"I've got money on my CharlieCard." I tried to give it back, but she'd already turned away.
The T station stairs were slick with ice. I kept Lily on my left side, my good side, and tried not to think about Summer Hayes's strawberry-scented hair or the text messages I'd been ignoring. The ones that said are you okay and I'm sorry and please let me know you're safe.
She didn't understand. The only way to survive being someone like me at St. Jude's was to be invisible. To keep your head down and your damaged right hand tucked safely out of sight.
But then she'd gone and filed that complaint. Made me visible.
And now everyone knew.
The Red Line car was nearly empty this early. Lily pressed her face to the window, watching the tunnel lights streak past. I slouched in the seat, my right arm throbbing with the phantom pain that never quite went away.
When we reached Kendall Square, MIT's buildings loomed gray and imposing. Students hurried past in their North Face jackets, looking like they belonged to a world I'd never be part of. Lily stared up at them.
"Are they all scientists?" she whispered.
"Some of them." I steered her toward the Dunkin' on the corner. "But scientists started out as kids too. Just like you."
Her face lit up. "Could I be a scientist?"
"Yeah." The word came out rougher than I meant it to. "Yeah, Lily. You could be anything."
If I could just keep her safe long enough. If I could just make enough money for everything she needed to have a real shot at life.
I bought Lily a free kids' milk and found her a corner booth near the window. She settled in with her book.
"I'll be right across the street," I told her, pointing to the café. "You can see me through the window. If anything happens, you come get me."
She nodded, already absorbed in the story. I watched her for a moment longer than necessary, then forced myself to turn away.
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Summer's POV
The Quantum Tutoring classroom was nothing like St. Jude's. Sleek, modern, all glass and steel. Ten students, most looking like they'd rather be anywhere else. Designer bags. Tiffany jewelry. A guy in a rowing team jacket who kept checking his phone.
I'd paid two thousand dollars for eight sessions. Two thousand dollars to sit in a room with people who clearly didn't care, taught by a tired-looking MIT grad student.
But it was close to Southie. Close to where Kieran might be.
The next two and a half hours were torture. My brain felt like it was leaking out my ears. Every time David asked a question, I forced myself to raise my hand, even when I got it wrong. The rowing team guy actually turned around to stare at me after the fourth time.
But I kept thinking about what Kieran had written once. Physics isn't about being smart. It's about being stubborn enough to keep asking why until something clicks.
So I was stubborn. I took notes until my hand cramped. I stayed after class to ask clarifying questions, even though my head was pounding.
When I finally stumbled out at four-thirty, my brain was fried and my stomach was eating itself. I'd been too nervous to eat breakfast, too focused during lunch.
I needed food. Then I could... what? Walk around Southie hoping to run into Kieran? Show up at his apartment like some kind of stalker?
No. Food first.
The Dunkin' Donuts on the corner was warm and smelled like sugar. I ordered hot chocolate, two donuts, and a chicken wrap, then found a corner booth. My phone buzzed—Mom, asking when I'd be home. I sent back a quick just finished, grabbing food, home soon and tried to ignore the guilt.
I wasn't going home soon. I was going to sit here and try to figure out how to accidentally-on-purpose run into a boy who was clearly avoiding me.
God, I was pathetic.
I unwrapped the chicken wrap and took a huge bite. The girl who used to nibble salads and count calories was long gone. This version of me ate like she was starving, because sometimes she was.
Halfway through my second donut, I heard it. A small voice saying "Thank you" to the person behind the counter.
I looked up.
And there, in the corner booth near the window, was a little girl with a hearing aid and a mushroom-cut hairstyle, sitting alone with a copy of The Little Prince.
Lily Cross.
My heart stopped. Then started again, too fast.
She noticed me staring and gave a shy little wave. "Hi," she said, the word slightly slurred.
I walked over to her booth. "Hi," I said softly, crouching down. "Are you here by yourself?"
She shook her head and pointed out the window, toward a café across the street. "My brother's working. He said to wait here."
I followed her finger and saw him. Kieran, sitting at a corner table with a younger kid, explaining something with his left hand while his right stayed hidden under the table. His face was tired but focused.
Something in my chest cracked open.
"Do you want to sit with me?" Lily asked, her eyes hopeful. "While we wait?"