Chapter 49
Summer's POV
I sat across from Lily Cross in the corner booth of Dunkin' Donuts, my heart hammering so hard I was sure she could hear it. Through the window, I could see Kieran in the café across the street, his dark head bent over a physics textbook, his left hand gesturing as he explained something to the kid sitting next to him. His right hand stayed hidden under the table.
"I'm Summer," I managed, trying to sound normal. "Summer Hayes. I don't think we were properly introduced last time at your mom's food cart."
Lily's face lit up. She had these huge honey-colored eyes that made her look like a little angel, even with the hearing aid visible behind her right ear. "I'm Lily. Lily Cross." Her words came out slightly slurred, but she spoke them carefully, like she'd practiced.
She tilted her head, studying me. "You go to St. Jude's, right? I saw the crest on your backpack."
I nodded, suddenly aware of how expensive my bag looked next to her worn Little Prince book.
"Thank you for helping me last time," she said excitedly. "With that drunk man at the cart. You were so brave." She touched my hand shyly. "And you're really pretty. Your hair is like a Barbie doll."
Something in my chest cracked open. I covered her small hand with mine. "You're very sweet, Lily. And you're beautiful too."
She beamed, then glanced out the window. "Kieran says I have to wait here while he works. He's teaching physics to Coach Anderson's nephew." She said it proudly, like tutoring was the most impressive job in the world.
I followed her gaze. Even from here, I could see the exhaustion in the set of his shoulders.
"Your brother takes good care of you," I said softly.
Lily nodded vigorously. "He checked my hearing aid battery this morning. He always makes sure there's no red light." She touched the device behind her ear protectively. "He says if the light turns red, I have to tell him right away."
"That's really responsible of him."
"He's the best brother." Lily's voice was matter-of-fact. "This morning on the T, there were so many people. Kieran stood in front of me so nobody would bump into me. And he made sure I got a seat."
The image made my throat tight. Kieran at seventeen, already playing the role of parent and protector.
"He's very strict sometimes," Lily continued, swinging her legs. "He won't let me eat too many donuts. He says they'll give me cavities." She leaned forward conspiratorially, though her whisper was still louder than a normal speaking voice. "But he promised if I finish all my homework this week, he'll take me to the library on Saturday and buy me a Disney night-light."
I felt something twist in my chest. The casual way she said it, like a Disney night-light was the most precious thing in the world. Because for them, it probably was.
"Some girls at school don't like to play with me," Lily added quietly. "They say I talk weird. They make me repeat things over and over."
My hands clenched into fists under the table. "That's not fair to you."
"It's okay." She shrugged, but I could see the hurt in her eyes. "When that happens, I just go find Kieran. He never gets annoyed when I ask him to repeat things. He says my voice is nice."
I had to look away, blinking hard against the sudden burn in my eyes.
"What if a stranger tries to talk to you?" I asked.
Lily's answer was immediate. "I yell for Kieran. He taught me that if I'm scared, I should shout his name as loud as I can. He'll hear me." She looked at me seriously. "Kieran is always there. He said as long as I need him, he'll come. Always."
Her absolute certainty made me want to cry. I thought about the future I'd left behind, Lily screaming Kieran's name in that funeral home, her cochlear implant lying discarded on the floor because she couldn't bear to hear the silence where her brother's voice should have been.
We sat in silence. I watched Kieran through the window, his left hand moving quickly across the page while his right stayed hidden.
"Summer?" Lily's voice pulled me back. She had gone very still, her expression confused. She touched her ear, her small fingers fumbling with the hearing aid.
"I can't hear you very well," she said, louder this time.
My stomach dropped.
Lily slowly lifted her hand to push back her hair. Behind her ear, the hearing aid's indicator light was flashing red.
"My battery died," she whispered, and the fear in her eyes broke my heart.
She was looking at me now, waiting for my reaction. Her hands twisted together in her lap, and I realized she was scared—not just of not being able to hear, but of how I would respond to seeing her disability.
I reached across the table and gently took both of Lily's hands in mine. "It's okay," I said clearly, making sure she could see my lips. "We'll figure it out together."
Her eyes filled with tears. "I forgot to charge it last night. I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize." I squeezed her hands. "Does Kieran have extra batteries?"
She nodded. "In his backpack. But he's working."
"Then we'll wait until he's done."
"Kieran says it's our secret," Lily said quietly. "That I shouldn't show people." Her voice dropped. "When I was in kindergarten, a boy grabbed my hearing aid and threw it in the toilet. Kieran skipped school to come get it. He cleaned it and helped me put it back on." She looked down at our joined hands. "He told me it was a secret. That only he and Mama should know. Because other people won't understand."
My heart felt like it was being squeezed. I thought about Kieran rushing to his sister's school because some kid had bullied her, cleaning her hearing aid out of a toilet, telling her to hide it because the world was cruel to people who were different.
"But I really like you," Lily continued. "So I forgot the rule."
"You didn't break any rule," I said firmly. "And I'm honored that you showed me."
Lily slowly smiled. "This hearing aid is just temporary anyway. Kieran says when he wins the USAPhO prize money, we'll have enough." Her eyes lit up with hope. "He's going to take me on the Amtrak to Boston Children's Hospital. The doctors there can give me a cochlear implant." She leaned forward excitedly. "Kieran says after I get the implant, I'll be able to hear wind and birds and piano music. And then I can be a scientist too."
The tears came back. I thought about all the weight Kieran was carrying, all so his little sister could hear properly, all so she could have a chance at a normal life.
Lily reached out and patted my hand. "Don't be sad. I'm okay. Really."
Through the window, I saw Kieran packing up his materials. The kid he'd been tutoring was counting out cash.
"He'll be surprised to see you," Lily said. "He talks about you sometimes."
My breath caught. "He does?"
"He doesn't say much. But I can tell he thinks about you a lot." She gave me a knowing look. "He gets this look on his face. Like he's trying to solve a really hard problem."