Chapter Three

Seven years later

Saem Choi, Bangkok Thailand

Kieran was feeling bored. He was in his room. The door was shut. His life was on a boring coast. He doesn’t want to see any friends on that hot afternoon. A wave of memory came over him as he threw himself in his bed. He thought of seven years ago. He thought of his long-lost best friend— Hardin.

Yes, Kieran clearly remembered his name. Kieran was bewitched. No matter how hard he tried to shake his head and ignore Hardin in his mind ay palaging nakarehistro pa rin ang kaguwapuhan nito sa kanyang isipan. It struck like a light and blue sound that debilitated his soul.

He misses Hardin.

Kieran’s heart longed for him.

He wants to spend his whole life with Hardin. And still, Kieran knows that it’s impossible since the latter is straight. Paano kung katulad din ito ng kanyang daddy? Hardin will not give a damn lalo na’t pareho lamang silang lalaki at ‘yon ang nasa isip niya habang nangilid ang isang butil ng luha niya.

Paano ba siya mamahalin ni Hardin kung pareho lamang silang lalaki? At ngayon pitong taon na ang nakalilipas ay sigurado siyang nasa isang seryosong relasyon na si Hardin.

Ang mundong ginagalawan niya ay mapanghusga. All kinds of hate were thrown at him. He was not a robot na hindi nasasaktan, minsan nga ay lihim na lamang siyang umiiyak. Ngunit kailanman ay hindi niya sinisisi ang sarili kung bakit nagkagano’n siya.

He clearly remembered that Hardin asked him to study at the same university at Bang Mot, Sub-district, Thung Khru District, Bangkok Thailand. They promised each other that they will study at the same university.

Nasasaktan siya dahil sa isiping pitong taon na pala at ni isang beses ay hindi siya naisipang tawagin ni Hardin, o gumagawa ng paraan para magkita sila. Hindi siya nito naisipang kamustahin through Line or any social media platforms.

Paano naman niya malalaman kung nakapag-aral na ro’n si Hardin o hindi kung wala silang komunikasyon? He shook his head hard and tried to think of something. But he was bewitched with Hardin’s perfect feature. Bakit hindi niya makalimutan ang lalaki? alam niyang nakalimutan na siya nito dahil napakadali para kay Hardin na gawin ‘yon.

He successfully closed the open memories with  Hardin and they slowly fade like a star during daytime. He took the opportunity to think of something. He thought of the best day of his life, probably the happiest day of his entire life, when he was taking the entrance exam for engineering at the university two months ago. At sa araw na ‘yon ay lalabas na ang resulta ng exam. He has full hope that he passes the entrance exam.

May naalala siya. Noong araw ng kanilang exam ay tumambay siya sa canteen ng university. He was waiting for his two friends, Ayne, and Pharm. May isang engineering student na lumapit sa kanya at nagbigay ng snacks at Nom Yen o Pink Milk. Natural na nagulat siya pero nagpasalamat na lamang siya sa estudyanteng lalaking ‘yon. Pero sabi nito ay hindi ito ang nagbigay niyon sa kanya kundi ang kaibigan nito. Tinanong na sana niya kung sino ang kaibigan nito. But the guy immediately turned his back and walked away.

Curios pa rin siya hanggang ngayon. If someone gives you a Nom Yen that means you’re special to that person. Sino kaya ang nagbigay ng Pink Milk na ‘yon sa kanya? Gusto niyang isipin na si Hardin iyon. Pero kung si Hardin iyon ay bakit hindi ito nagpakita sa kanya? and Kieran wasn’t even sure if Hardin was studying at that university. Kaya negative ang hinala niyang si Hardin ang nagbigay ng Pink milk. Pero umaasa ang buong pagkatao niya. His nerves, unstrung, were quivering. He stared at the ceiling.

Ang gusto niya ay magkulong sa kanyang silid hanggang sa hindi pa lumabas ang result ng entrance exam niya sa araw na iyon. He knew if he was unfortunate to pass the exam his dad will compare him to Arthit, the doctor of the Sutthiprapha family. He will not give a damn. Sanay na siya sa gano’ng eksena. Tanggap na niya na hindi siya tanggap ng daddy niya. Tumagilid siya at niyakap ang unan nang mahigpit. It’s where he confides all his feelings, it was like a trustworthy friend. Maemosyonal na kinagat ni Kieran ang pang-ibabang labi niya.

His cellphone suddenly rang. Bumangon siya para alamin kung sino ang tumawag. It was Pharm his friend. He gave a long profound sigh. But he has to answer him. Malay ba niya ay yayain naman siya nitong lumabas. He wants Pharm to take him to each province of Bangkok. “Sawatdee khrub.” He threw himself again in the bed. “Sabaiidi mai?” (How are you?)

“Have you checked the university’s official Facebook page post?” tanong nito mula sa kabilang linya.

Minamasahe niya ang sariling noo. Pakiramdam niya kasi ay nahihilo siya at sumakit ang ulo niya. “Hmm... not yet.”

Malaki ang naging tawa nito mula sa kabilang linya. “Nong Kieran I don’t want to spill the tea. Go check it.”

Huminga siya nang malalim bago niya nakuhang sumagot. “Okay khrub, I will check it. If it was not a piece of good news, we will not be friends anymore. You always prank someone. I bet this is not a prank. The other day you asked me to touch and rub one leaf of the damn grass in my leg, and it kills me to death. You bast*rd.” He cursed as he remembered how he suffered itchiness.

He laughed. “That was nettle rash, fool.”

“But I don’t know it was itchy,” he sadly said.

“Sorry Nong.”

“Perhaps next time you’ll ask me to travel by foot on the rocky mountain in Chiang Mai like what you did to Ayne so that he has a bright future. But he got twenty over eighty-five on his exam. Bad joke.” He grinned.

“Well, it was not a damn joke. Just check the post of the university posted just a few minutes ago. You’ll be surprised.”

“Okay khrub, I will. Hep! can I have coconut rice dumplings? Nah Nah khrub. Please tell your Mae. I love how she prepares coconut rice dumplings,” aniya sa nagsusumaong boses.

“Perfect, she was in the kitchen and cooking dumplings and Thai Roti you’ll also love it.”

He suddenly craves food, for dessert Pharm mentioned. Hindi pa siya kumain kaninang umaga. His mouth began to water as he imagine the dessert prepared by Pharm’s mother waiting for his hands to break them into pieces and throw them into his mouth. He woke up from his daydream. “Can I have some? deliver it to me.”

“Sure khrub, it’s free my friend.”

“See you, I have to check the university post.” He smirked and end up the call.

Pagkatapos magpaalam kay Pharm ay mabilis niyang binisita ang official Facebook page ng university. His eyes widened as he read the caption. Here are the lists of the new students who passed the entrance exam for Engineering. Congratulations. Huminga siya nang malalim. His fingers trembled as he clicked the post. Oh, God, his name was on there he belonged to the top five with the highest score. Tumayo siya at tumatalon-talon sa saya.

He want to run down and tell the crowd, and announce it to his dad, but he realized that his dad and mom weren’t there. They’re in the Philippines, sa Baguio City. Samantalang si Arthit ay nasa hospital ito, at minsan lang umuwi sa kanila dahil tumira ito sa condo sa City.

Kahit nando’n ang daddy niya ay hindi ito matutuwa lalo na ang balitang ‘yon ay mula sa kanya, para sa kanyang daddy, isa siyang malaking kamalasan sa pamilya. His existence is a curse for the Suttiprapha family.

He bit his lower lip in agony. Hindi biro ang pinagdaanan niya sa kamay ng kanyang homophobic na daddy. Sa tuwing ipinagtanggol siya ng mommy niya ay ito naman ang sinaktan ng daddy niya. Mental, pisikal, at emosyonal na pang-aabuso ay naranasan niya sa kamay ng daddy niya. His dad’s side hated him for being gay. Si Arthit lang ang kinilala ng mga ito bilang anak ni Mr. Pornthip.

Nang bumaba siya sa sala ay nagulat siya nang makita si Arthit. Hindi niya alam kung ano’ng ginagawa nito roon. Hindi niya alam kung may duty ito o wala sa araw na iyon.

“You passed the entrance exam, right?” tanong agad nito.

“I did. How did you know?” he deadpanned.

“Good to hear, I just knew it. Congratulations.”

Napatingin siya sa suot nitong puting T-shirt, it was stained with blood. Hindi pa siya nagtatanong ay nagsalita na agad ito.

“There was an accident on Rama bridge.” Arthit sighed.

“Doctor must stay in the hospital.”

“I’m off duty today but when I drive my car to cross Rama, I saw the accident, the car flipped. So, I got out of my car and checked the situation. It was pretty bad. The man has a serious injury. If I wasn’t there he might lose his consciousness,” salaysay nito.

Bakit ba ito nagpaliwanag at isinalaysay ang pangyayari? wala naman siyang paki-alam. “Rama VIII is my favorite bridge,” he said. He loves the bridge because of some reason, and because that was where he met Hardin.

“Kieran, we are not talking about favorites. We are talking about an accident.” Arthit reminded Kieran and smirked.

“Then open it to your friends in the hospital.” Umupo siya sa single sofa.

“Aw,” Arthit muttered.

“Well-”

“So, you can do everything since dad wasn’t around,” mabilis na sambit nito.

“I’m tired of everything, Pee.” He looked on the floor.

“You know, Dad is old-fashioned,” said Arthit.  “Bye for now I’ll go to my room.” Tumayo ito at nagsimulang humakbang.

“So? You plan to seek out a man too?” tanong niya sa kapatid.

Arthit shook his head. “Certainly no.” Ipinagtuloy nito ang pagpanhik sa itaas. “Dad will kill me for sure if both of us give him son-in-law.”

Lumingon siya sa pinto nang biglang may kumatok doon. Nang buksan niya ang pinto ang masayang anyo ni Pharm at Ayne ang sumalubong sa kanya.

“Congratulations to all of us,” masayang sabay-sabay na sambit ng mga ito.

He smiled and greeted them back. “Come in.”

Nang umupo sila sa sala ay inilapag ni Pharm ang mga dala nito. Ngumiti siya. Parang gusto na niyang buksan ang mga dala nito at kainin ‘yon.

“Thanks.” He smiled.

Pharm beamed. “Welcome, Nong.”

He sighed and looked at them with his sad looks. “The truth guys, may I know, did you find yourself sometimes getting rid of me or even disgusted? Other people throw hate and insult me for who am I. Whenever I met people in the street or any place, they looked at me and laughed, they said I am an immoral, scourge, pestilence, and a hoodoo or my parents' bad luck. I’m f*cking tired listening to people saying, I’m a f*cking fag and likes to get f*cked in the ass.”

“No, we are not like them,” mabilis na sambit ni Pharm. “We are your friends, your sexual orientation is not ours to decide. Don’t care about what other people say about you, don’t give them a damn. What do people know about the world and coming years?”

“Thank you,” Kieran said, pausing to rest for a moment. “Thank you, guys.” Yumuko siya para buksan ang lunch boxes. He was lucky that the two exist and were meant to understand him. They are his green flag friends.

“Aw, I forget to bring cold drinks. I gotta go out now and buy.” Pharm stood up, walking to the door but then he suddenly stopped.