Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen


Astrid;

Two things have always helped me with my mood ever since I was a child. The first one, and you guessed it right, was riding bikes. The second thing is eating. Although that one is a little problem since we didn't have much food growing up. But thankfully, that wasn't the case here.

The first thing I did after leaving the training room where Cornelius humiliated, was head over to the kitchen to eat. The good part was, I didn't have to worry about lunch and dinner after I eat to my fill. This place had an unlimited food supply.

I didn't bother to change out of my clothes, it was ruined anyway. I ate everything I wanted, mostly chocolate cake and other junks. It was the first time in my life that I was eating nice things without stealing it. It was amazing.

After I was done attending to my stomach, half of my anger had dissipated. The only thing I could do to waive off the other half was to speak to Hattie or hop on a bike. Since I can't do either of them, there was only one person I could pass this anger too.

Mummy dearest.

The last time I saw my mother was the day we arrived here. She had gone out of her way to avoid me, but not today. I asked one of the domestic workers to take me to her room.

I didn't bother to knock before going in. I might have borrowed a page from Cornelius book. But if she could keep a life-altering secret from me for so long, making me live the life I wasn’t meant to, then she could deal with me barging into her ridiculously lavish suite.

She was sitting by the window, her hair loose, a cup of tea in her hand like she didn’t have a care in the world. It almost made me laugh….almost. She looked like she was used to this life, like she belonged here. And that was yet another reminder that I was the only one who didn't belong.

Cornelius said it countless times, even my own mother was showing it to me. The anger I thought I'd waived off eoyh food came back in full force.

“You know,” I said, closing the door behind me with a soft click. “if I’d known that I was the heir to some criminal empire or whatever the hell this is, I might’ve prepared differently. Maybe learned to wield a sword before nearly getting murdered at a wedding,” I sat down at the edge of the bed.

My mum turned to face me, her hands slightly shaking as she placed the tea cup down. I didn't let myself think about it, because if I did, my anger would be meaningless. And right now, rage is all I have left. I couldn't let myself call into the darkness that awaited me after.

“So I'm learning everything here belongs to us.” She looked away from me without giving me a response.

The rage in me intensified, I welcomed it. Rage was a good reprieve. I stood up from the bed.

“I don't understand why you didn't think to tell me that. We went days without proper meal, I had to steal so we could eat.” I yelled.

“I never asked you to do that. I had it handled!” She yelled back.

Silence echoed between us, the truth out in the open. It was true. She never asked me to do that. Infact she punished me whenever I stole something, even if I had good reasons for doing it. But I was so fucked up in the head, so obsessed with finding any scrape of meaning to my life that I never listened to her.

And that obsession to being on the other side of the law was what landed us here. The Serpent found me because I was at the bar that night. I had gotten them to notice me because I was always getting in trouble.

All this time I've being blaming my mother, when I was the one who got us in this mess. She was right to blame me.

“Astrid—”

“No, you're right. It's my fault. It has always been my fault. I was the reason you left your life. And now, I was the reason you were back in it. You had it handled. If I hadn't always thrown myself headfirst into trouble, we wouldn't be here.”

She didn't answer but her silence was the only confirmation I needed. I scoffed, hiding the pain that had burrowed itself deep inside my mind. I turned ahd headed for the door.

“You have every right to be angry.” Mum finally said when I was almost outside. “But I hope when you calm down, you will see things from my perspective.”

“Angry?” I laughed, but it was the sharp, brittle kind that made my throat ache. “No, Mum, I’m ecstatic. Who wouldn’t be thrilled to find out their entire life was a lie? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me since we got here?”

“I didn't lie to you, I was protecting you. And I wasn't avoiding you, I just figured you might need some space to figure out…everything. It's a lot.” she said.

“Protect me. Because nothing screams protection lying to your daughter for years.” I scoffed.

“Don't you think I'd have been a bit more careful if Iyou'd told me the truth. That I would have protected myself and never let my guard down. Or do you think I'm not capable of protecting myself, just like Cornelius said?”

“Cornelius?” She asked, her tone laced with confusion.

“The one that isn't Leon. The asshole brother.”

“You mean Carter?”

“Carter, Cornelius, they're both the same name. They start with ‘C’.” I shrugged.

“Those two names are in no way similar.” she said.

“They are, and we're moving away from the point of conversation.”

I don't care what the asshole name is. Even if he had the most beautiful name in the world, he was still Cornelius. And now the nice Cornelius who carried my bag in preschool, this one was the devil's incarnate.

I realized then that I was mad at my mum anymore. But I was still going to keep my stern face. I needed answers.

“It's not because I don't trust to take care of yourself. It's just, these people are trained assassins. They managed to get to your father and he was the best Shadow there ever was. I didn't want them to take you too. I had to do everything to keep you alive.” Her voice cracked, but she was quick to swallow back the sob. That was my mother, never vulnerable.

That was the Caroline Wolfe that had been a Shadow. Not the Caroline that was my mother. The one who had waited table at a dusty diner back home. Honestly, I didn't know the difference between the two.

“Alive,” I said bitterly. “Not happy. Not informed. Just… breathing. Like that’s enough.”

Her shoulders sagged, and for the first time, I saw past the perfect composure she always carried. She looked… tired. Haunted.

“I thought that was enough. Even when we didn't have much to eat, at least we were alive. But you were right, you had the right to know about the truth. I'm sorry for keeping it from you for so long.” her head hung low with regret.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Because deep down, I understood why she did it.

“I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to fight back. You're stubborn, Astrid. You always think you're invincible, always looking forward to the next heist, the next time you'll get into trouble, and that scares me. I don't want you to end up like your father.” She broke down into tears after that.

I moved closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. I tried not to read too much into her words. I might be stubborn but I sure as hell didn't think I was invincible. No one is.

I did what I do best when faced with a conflicting emotion, I deflected.

“Well, the good news is, I'm taking lessons from Cornelius on how to protect myself. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm not going to let hurt you or me.” I said.

“I'm so glad to hear you say that because I can't hide you anymore.” She whispered and hugged me back. We stayed like that in silence for a few minutes before she broke the silence.

“And the boy's name is Carter, Rosa.” We both laughed at that.

“Nah, I like Cornelius better. The guy is an asshole.”

“Language.” Mum glared at me.

“Mummy, allow me to remind you that we're living asking hardened criminals. I think you can forgive me for calling a guy an asshole when he's one.” I smiled sweetly and batted my eyelashes.

She held out for about two seconds before tipping her head back and laughed. The moment was perfect. It was like everything was right in the world again.

Mum pulled me closer when the laughter died out. She hugged me tightly to herself.

“Things are going to be really hard from now on. You'll be expected to do a lot of things and sacrifice. But I know you can handle it. You're strong, my Rosa.” she said.

“Promise me you won't keep secrets from me anymore, even if the entire mafia world is after my head.”

My mum stroke my hair and kissed the top of my head.

“I promise. No more secrets.” she said.

“No more secrets.” I echoed back.