Chapter 34

VANESSA

I did what I knew best, I ran from the situation.

"Vanessa, get back here now!" I always hated taking demands, like I was a child. He knew that's one way to tick me off.

"We are supposed to be partners, and you're plotting behind my back." He finally caught up to me and grabbed my arm to spin me around to face him. I honestly didn't know what to tell him. He was right, but there were things that were better left unsaid. Everyone around me was going to get hurt if I opened my mouth.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" His face looks surprised. He wasn't dumb, actually Asher was a lot smarter than most. He was an Alpha before he met me. He cared about his pack a lot.

"When you choose me to be your mate, I choose you. I choose your kingdom. My pack is part of that kingdom too." We've never really fought before. This was something that was bigger than us. That could not only save us, but generations after us. This is a fear I'd never want my kids to suffer.

"You're playing dumb with me, as you had your mind link blocked for a while. I heard what you were thinking. Now tell me what you have planned." I looked into those beautiful red eyes, and could see how mad he was, I always had a way of destroying everything that I built. This could be the end of us.

"Asher, some things are beyond us don't you think? I tried to keep a straight face, but I was always told I had a tale.

"No lying isn't beyond us. We are supposed to be mates. Yet you lie, and sneak, and plot. You don't include me into that. I am so sick of feeling like I am nothing but a bed warmer." The problems with not being with your mate, is the lack of affection. The mate bond never dies and will always pull you. But not for a chosen mate. I rested my hands on his chest, as my wolf purred along with his.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. These pregnancies have always made me feel disconnected. I hope you know all I do, is for the best. I have ruled by myself for a long time. I don't work the best in a team. Can you just trust me for once?"

ASHER

Asher had taken a deep breath in, as he is trying to keep his composure to his hormonal mate. Thoughts started surfacing through his mind if this was all worth it. What if he actually decided to choose his mate. Would it be this complicated? The love would be so much more. Yet being with Vanessa, things feel right. His pack would have died out of hunger, and poverty. He hated when these thoughts crept in his mind. How can someone so close, feel so far.

Now he is bound to her. She is carrying his daughter. Drew is his son regardless of what a test would say. Alias isn't dad to him; I am his dad. He hated thinking how miserable he feels, and he is stuck with her. Not like he can leave. He looks up, and notices her eyes are watery. Fuck she read my thoughts. My words were so much more hurtful.

"You can leave. I don't need you Asher. I don't want you unhappy. I can raise my child all by myself. You are not obligated." Those words felt like fire in his ears. Vanessa was slowly breaking apart, as she realizes her mate only loved her because she came with things that would change his life.

"Baby please, I didn't mean it" Asher managed to spill out.

I felt so horrible looking at the hurt that was on her face. I hated that we had no rules to the mind reading, she has given me so much more than I deserve. Yet these thoughts were in my head. I didn't mean them, but the constant distance was having a strain on us. At least for me. She gave up her mate for me, who she watches every day and rejects the real mate bond. She's given me her kingdom, my kingdom everything, sacrificed her life, and she gave me a son who is the best damn one you can have. Why am I so selfish? She stood there just staring blankly on the ground. But didn't take long before she darted off into the woods.

VANESSA

After hearing how he really felt, I felt disgusted at myself. This could have been Alec and me. I could have been extremely happy with my mate. But yet I choose him. I chose to be with him. Now I am what? A sugar mommy, what kids call it these days. I ran off, and he didn't dare find me. I shifted into my wolf and headed off to my favorite hill right on top, near the lake. My fur showed white, pure as can be with this baby inside me. You know there were times I could have quit being this leader, and just settled for the normal. Or just be human. Things would be so much simpler, but yet I gave everything to everyone who crossed my path.

"Someone is down" I heard a mind-link. I was so lost in thought I didn't even hear Alec creeping up in his black wolf form. I was always so memorized as he had this big brown patch on his neck. He came and laid right next me, and we both just looked out into the lake.

"I heard what happened? Are you okay?" There were so many things I wanted to say to that. So many thoughts that ran through my mind. Being around my destined mate, gives me a sense of calmness. I choose to stay away when I can due to the fact, I would be throwing myself at him. That didn't seem so bad knowing my chosen mate didn't want me. I will break the bond if I want to.

"Well things could be better. I somehow know how to choose the ones who really want their mates," I laid my head on top of my crossed paws. He stared at me with those eyes, and my wolf was just enjoying this moment.

"I should have chosen you. For some reason if after the child in you, you have always been there by my side. This would be our kingdom. Our land." I let those words come out. He plopped his head up, and just stared at me, unsure of how to react. I looked back into his red eyes, as a purr came from his wolf.

"You made the right choice, you know?" Maybe he didn't want me either. I just will die alone forever.

"I was far too young, and still growing. I wasn't at the level you were. It took me a while to see it. I took you for granted, and never saw how much you loved me. This is why I chose to stay single, until my second chance arrives." The thought of that made my stomach churn. But I rejected him for way too long. He deserves someone, but maybe I want to be a little selfish. I jumped towards Alec, where I landed on top of him. I quickly shifted into my human side, where his wolf was staring at me with so much adoration.

"Shift" I used my Alpha voice which made his wolf shudder. He was fighting against it but lost the battle. Alec's naked body laid under me, and just stared at me.

"Don't do anything you will regret. You are mated to the king." I saw the plea in his voice.

"He doesn't want me. He wants his mate. He was using me only. You loved me. I want to be loved, not just a ruler. Just say no if you want me to stop." I let desire and hurt make this choice for me. I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. He didn't reject it, instead gave in to temptation. His tongue slipped into my mouth, and together we went into a motion. Until he pushed back.

"Vanessa, this isn't right. You are mated, and this is playing with my wolf's emotion. I can't do this." He set me aside, and quickly stood up to walk away. He had every reason for it. I was selfish.

"I'm sorry, I just needed to feel loved, desired, wanted. Not used so I get what I want." I felt a tear escaping my eye, but I wiped it before it fell. He came over and wrapped me with his arms.

"He was having doubts. He loves you, as it's a petty fight. I will not get myself killed unless it's only me you want. I am not here to play your side dude, until you both make up." I suddenly missed the warmth of his arms, as he parted ways with me.

"You're right, I didn't consider your feelings. It wasn't right for me to play with your feelings anymore. I will give you that space." I shifted into my wolf and darted off to the palace.

DREW

"You did what?!" I was looking at Asher who was completely hurt from what he did. The things he thought, and my mom heard. I've seen her broken, battered, and bruised. I wanted to hit him. I looked over where Alias was leaning against a dresser, and he was just as mad.

"You know the rejection she felt caused her decades of hurt. I chose my mate, who rejected me. At the end of the day she is a female, and they are more emotional than men. She is also pregnant. Dude you fucked up." Alias stated his opinion, and you could see how distraught Asher was, He knew that it was going to take a lot to make up for what he did.

"I am allowed to have thoughts, but I didn't mean them. I just wish she would stop hiding things from me. She said some things that were concerning, and she somehow turned things on me to avoid it. You know how she is, she is closed off, and her affection isn't how mates should be." He finally took a breath from everything he said.

"You aren't destined mates, the bond doesn't work that way, you’re basically how humans feel. It has to develop, and if both of you aren't trying it won't work. I hate to bring it up, but Vanessa and my relationship was amazing. We were basically attached to each other’s hip. We did everything together. Even when she was in her office planning things, I just sat in the office, to have her in my presence. She is hard to love, but it is so worth it. I lost that chance when I tried to kill her. After that we shared one night together and that was it." You could see the envy that he carried listening to Alias talk about their mating. But he sighed out in the end.

"How do I fix things then?" He looked at Alias which showed how desperate he was.

"You need to give her space, and you need to keep her from Alec. She is impulsive, and petty. She always found herself with him, when her and I fought. Regardless the mate bond will always be there to remind you that you always come second. She is a hot head, and she needs space. But she also needs something that shows how sorry you are. Show how you really feel and prepare to do a lot of sucking up. She will forgive, but she will never forget," The door slammed open, as Alec had stormed up the pack house to his room. He was really upset, as he didn't even acknowledge the king. But then it came to us.

Alias, Asher, and I had exchanged looks. The smell of my mom lingered on him. It was faint, but it was there.

"I think it may be too late" Was the last words Alias said. Didn't take long before Asher was heading upstairs where Alec was.