Chapter 50

Elise POV:

I have so many conflicting feelings. My mind seems to keep wandering to Ezra. It’s been two days and I haven’t been able to pick up the journal again.

Everyone is getting things ready for us to go see this seer. A replacement for Juliangelly arrived late this evening. We’ll be leaving in the morning.

Things have been tense with everyone. They have all noticed how quiet I am. But I have so many thoughts spiraling in my head that I can’t focus on the here and now.

I’m hoping seeing this seer will put me in a different perspective. I need answers. I don’t want to believe what the journal says. But at the same time I get this sense of peace and calm while holding it in my hands.

What does it mean if I really am this long lost faerie princess? What will happen between Kyros and I? Am I really going through a transition? But the one that is on repeat a lot is, what if I hurt someone? I can’t control whatever is going on around. What if I truly am the one doing this?

Things just seem to get more complicated by the day. I wish I could just sleep it all away but that is wishful thinking.

I’m currently laying out in the garden letting the flowers hide me from everyone. The sky has turned dark and stars begin to line the sky. They shine down bright and beautiful.

“A penny for your thoughts,” I hear Ezra say softly. I sat up in alarm not expecting him to be here. “Don’t alarm them. I just wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you were still okay.”

“You need to leave,” I say. I decide I don’t have the fight in me today and I lay back down. The others aren’t far away. They would hear if Ezra tries to do something.

“Something feels wrong. I know you don’t want to hear about that. I wish you would just come back with me but for now I won’t force you. I want the decision to be your own. But if I sense any change here I am taking you back with me,” he says. Then he does the last thing I expected. He lays down right next to me.

We stayed there in silence for a long while. The silence is actually very comforting and that's when I realize it's his doing. I turn and stare at him in curiosity.

“I could feel how nervous you felt. How scared and the turmoil going on in that pretty head of yours. I wanted to give a chance to relax,” he explains. He turns and gives me a slight smile.

My heart skips a beat. Oh fuck. This cannot be happening right now.

“I know I’m an asshole but everything I do is for you. You are meant to be mine and it kills me to smell Kyros’ scent on you. But you will realize soon enough that he’s not the one for you. He can’t help you the way I can,” he says. His eyes are full of worry and something else I can’t quite recognize.

“You’re wrong. I don’t know how to get you to understand that,” I say softly. I feel bad for him. He lost his destined partner before he could even meet her. He’s been holding onto this hope that he would one day find her. Then I showed up. Someone new and not from here and he immediately latched into the idea that I was her.

“You will see one day and you’ll realize how right I was,” he says as he stands up. “I’ll be back in a few days to see how you are doing.”

And just like that he is gone, almost as if he wasn’t here. His words ring through my head. If I am his destined partner then he must feel so hurt by me choosing someone else. Especially someone that hates him.

No, I can’t think like that. I need to make sure my head is clear. I can’t let him get to me. I know I’m not wrong. Just being in this place is making things change.

But then I can’t help and let myself wonder back to his smile. He seemed so genuine. And the worry in his gaze. The way it made my heart feel. I shouldn’t feel this way. I shouldn’t be thinking these things about a fucking psycho.

He’s not Kyros. He’s not the one holding onto my heart. He’s not the one who is here.

But he would be if I let him. He would drop anything for me. He would burn the world for me.

Ugh. I can’t. I need to do something to distract myself from his thoughts. I need to find Kyros.

I stand up but stumble as a feeling of nausea hits me. I have a hard time sucking in a breath of air. The air around me has a stale smell to it. Like something is here that is not good. I feel like I’m being watched. I look out into the woods but don’t see anything.

That’s when I hear the voice. Oh fucking hell. Great, another stupid hallucination.

“Neither of them will save you. Don’t get too comfortable. I will have you in my hands soon enough,” his voice says. The same demon voice from my nightmares.

“I’m finally going to kill you,” his voice rings out from all around me. His laughter floats my way and sends shivers down my spine. “You won’t get away this time, Elise.”