Chapter Twenty-Three— Claimed

I got another dozen calls from Nash since the day before. I just didn’t know what to say to him. I had no experience with break ups and this wasn’t even an actual break up. I guess I just had to suck it up and do it. Maybe I was just unaware of all the details. There was a microscopic chance I got some of this wrong.

I deleted the voicemails without listening to any of them. Same with the texts I had. Maybe he would assume my phone was broken. I wish I never gave him my number to begin with. How did I ever want him?

I finished getting ready for school and I waited for Nickolas outside. He refused to let me walk and my other option was letting him buy me a bike. No way was that happening. I knew him well enough to know he would be ridiculous and buy me some crazy expensive one. He brought it up most days. The only reason he didn’t just get me a new one was because then he couldn’t bring me to school and home.

When he pulled up, I got in and buckled up. He had already dropped Dahlia off today, so I didn’t get to see her. At least I would later.

Nickolas had the half of his project that he’d done in the backseat of the car. It was a pleasant surprise, seeing that he did it. A sweet thing, I think. He didn’t even tell me that he was doing it and I wasn’t sure why he did it, he knew I would have done the whole thing.

“I probably couldn’t get you to skip today, could I?” Nickolas said as he turned out of my street.

“No, you couldn’t. I’d actually like to graduate.”

He pouted. “Wouldn’t you rather spend the day making out with me in my bed.”

“Well that’s hardly the point.”

That earned a look. “I kinda feel like I if I kept trying, you might go for it.”

I shrugged. “I might feel bad after.”

Another sideways glance. “Did you feel bad after what we did last week?”

I hesitated on answering. “A little.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you into anything.”

“You didn’t. As much as I hate admitting this, everything you’ve done, everything you do, I like when you do it. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t let you.”

His hand lifted off the wheel for a moment. “I just don’t understand you, Posey. You like me, you’ve told me that. You want me. You know I’m in love with you. Why isn’t that enough?”

“Because everyone leaves me, Nickolas. Everyone. You think you love me right now, and I bet my old family thought they loved me too. I always just get left in the end. I’m trying to protect myself the best I can.”

Nickolas pulled over and shut the car off. “Listen to me.” His eyes were intense and he held me so I couldn’t look away. “I’m begging you to hear me when I tell you that you have this all wrong. I’m not the people who left you. This, what I feel for you, that’s for life. It’s in my DNA, loving you like this. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. Mate to me means just that. Forever and always.”

I undid my seatbelt and crawled onto his lap. I buried my face in his shoulder and put my arms around him. He put his arms around me too. He held onto me until I was done. It was a very long time, but he was patient and kind, even though I wasn’t.

By the time we got to school, we’d missed two classes. We got out of the car, and I hugged him goodbye. “I’m sorry I made you late.”

“Couldn’t care less, Cupcake. If you need me, call and I’ll be with you in a heartbeat.” He kissed my forehead and my cheek before he left for his class.

I put my backpack on and started walking to third hour. I would be stuck walking into a class already in progress, but I didn’t have a choice. I trudged through the field wishing I hadn’t separated from Nickolas.

“Posey?”

My blood froze when I heard Nash’s voice. He was close, but I couldn’t tell what direction he was in. I was beside a building when I saw him come out from the side. He was smiling as he walked over to me.

“Nash,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering my calls. I thought that I should take a more direct approach.” He stopped in front of me. “Is there a reason you’ve been ignoring me?”

“Busy, sorry. I was dealing with stuff from my old foster family and my teacher’s been hassling me to get that project done.” I stretched truths, but I hoped it would make him less angry. If I was dealing with a crazy person, then I needed to be careful.

Nash nodded, but I wasn’t sure he bought it. “You smell like him.”

I blinked. “Like who?” My hands were on my sides as I crossed my arms over my body. An instinct, to protect myself.

“Nick,” he spat the name. “You smell like you’ve been all over him. What did you let him do to you, Posey?”

I moved back just a little. “I was upset. He just hugged me. That was it.”

He relaxed a fraction. “Why were you upset?” I saw the protective concern in his eyes. It was behind the annoyance, or maybe outright anger about me smelling like another man.

“Stress. Finals are coming up. It happens.” All lies I told him. If he were really nuts, then knowing what was happening with Nickolas would only make him dangerous. He could hurt me and everyone I cared about. I didn’t know what he was capable of.

He looked sympathetic. “Are you all right now?” He moved in like he would have comforted me if I needed it. Even if I did, I didn’t want it from him. The only person who could make me feel better was the same person that was hurting me in the first place.

I nodded. “Good. I want to take you to dinner later.”

Here we go. “Nash, I just can’t do this anymore. I am the worst person to try and have a relationship with. You’re going home soon anyway. I think we should just end this right now.”

It processed on his face and I knew he wasn’t going to accept my rejection. “You can just come with me. My leader already has welcomed you into our home. We’ll go back, I’ll marry you, and we can start making a family. Didn’t you always want one of your own?”

Not with you, psycho. “I can’t be with you.”

Nash didn’t bother hiding the anger in his voice anymore. “It’s Nick. He thinks he has a claim on you. He’s wrong. You’re my mate and I’m taking you home with me.”

I backed up again. “Nash, please go. I’m sorry you think that we should be together, really I am. But I am not your mate and you aren’t mine. I’m no one’s and you need to accept that.”

How come out of nowhere did two guys need to decide to want me? Those girls that like when guys fight over them, well they’re crazy people.

“I know you were in my room,” I said. “Were you planning on telling me that you broke in? What were you planning on doing? What did you do?”

There was no guilt in him. “You weren’t home yet. I was waiting for you. Since you refused to talk to me otherwise, I did what I had to do.”

“You broke the law.”

“So?”

I scoffed. “We’re done, Nash. I’d like you to leave me alone now.” I started walking past him.

He caught my arm. He wasn’t hurting me, but I was held tightly. “Posey. We will never be over. You’re mine and you always will be.” He let go and started leaving the field.

My heart was pounding from fear and I didn’t know what to do, so I ran. I ran into the building and I locked myself in the girl’s room. I pulled my phone from my pocket and I texted Nickolas.

Me: Come get me. Nash came.

I told him where I was hiding and to hurry.

Nickolas: On my way. Are you all right?

Me: No. Just get here.

I waited until I heard him knock on the door. I unlocked it and pulled him in.

“What the fuck happened?” he asked.

I told him everything. Every single thing that’s ever happened between Nash and I and every thought I had. I made sure he was all caught up before I stopped to breath.

His face was somehow both blank and angry. “There a reason you didn’t tell me that he broke into your fucking bedroom before this?”

“I thought you might kill him.”

“You are correct." He started to leave but I stopped him. I stood in front of him and put my hands on his chest. “Cupcake,” he warned.

“Don’t you Cupcake me, buddy. You think I’m letting you fight a puma? Wolves are great and all but he’s a PUMA!”

“I don’t care. He’s trying to take my mate. So he dies.”

“You are seventeen! I’m not letting you kill anyone.”

He stilled and looked at nothing. “What if I can make a call?”

My brow arched. “To who?”

“My mother’s old menagerie. She knew the leader fairly well; talked about him enough. I think his name is Icarus Griswold. She has his contact information somewhere. He might be willing to help us. But there’s also a chance he won’t. This could start a war with his people and Nash’s.”

A whole group of Luciens on our side. It was a tempting call. But I didn’t want lives to end because of me. Not Nickolas’ and not any of Icarus Griswold’s people.

“What would they do?” I asked.

“Honestly, I don’t have a clue.”

“So what do we do?”

His arms crossed over his chest. “I think I need to find that number. At the very least, maybe the man can give me some advice on how to handle this. Mom always said he was a good man. Cold, maybe a little sad, but a good man. He wouldn’t just leave us out to dry.”

I nodded. “Okay. Should we go back to class?”

He rubbed his jaw. “No. I’m going to take you home. I can’t leave you alone until this is taken care of. I don’t know if Nash is the kind of man who’d just take you and hope you’ll come around.”

Instinctively, I moved closer to Nickolas. He keeps me safe. My body knows that. He put his arms around my waist, holding me against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

His hand stroked my hair. “Why? What do you have to be sorry for?”

I didn’t look at him. “Ever wanting him. I knew something was wrong the first time he kissed me. I didn’t feel anything at all. Then I kissed you.” I smiled. “And it was all different. It made me want more of you. I only wanted less of him.”

He was still for just a moment. Then he turned my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eye. “Do you love me, Posey?”

Don’t look! my head screamed at me. Don’t look and you won’t see what you know is there. Too late. It was far too late. Because in the end, you can not look and you can pretend that it’s working. Lie to yourself and you might even start to believe the lie.

I didn’t. I knew the truth and I didn’t have to look to see it. It was never something to be seen. I knew that now. I knew.

“Nickolas,” my voice was a whisper. “Please don’t do this to me.”

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

My eyes were wide and I couldn’t look away from him. “Please,” I said again. “Stop.”

He shook his head. “No. Why won’t you say it? Do you love me? It’s a simple yes or no.”

I blinked away tears. “If I say it, then it’s real. When you leave, it’ll kill me.”

He held my face between his hands. “Never. Never will I leave you can never will I let you leave me. You’re my mate. I want to give you everything I have and I want everything from you. I’m not giving up all we can have together. I’m keeping you, and we’re going to get married, and make an ungodly number of kids. But for now, we need to go home and try to survive this mess we’re in.” He took my hand and led me out of the bathroom.

The bell rang when we were in the hall. The students filled the space around us and Nickolas was able to ignore the stares we got as we moved hand in hand franticly. Some snickered at us like they thought we were leaving for another reason. I didn’t care in that moment. I just wanted to not be here.

We got to Nickolas’ car and he flew out of the parking lot at a terrifying speed. We went straight to his house. Dahlia was safe at daycare for now. I didn’t think Nash would hurt her. He still wanted her to come back with him. And he knew if he hurt her, I’d hurt him.

Nickolas brought me to a room I’d never been in before. Something used for storage. I guessed because it was full of unmarked boxes. He went to the corner and sat on the floor, putting one in front of him.

He looked up at me, already seeming spent. “Cupcake, this might take a while.”

I ran my fingers though his hair as I stood beside him. “Sleepover?” I guess I was lying to Candy again.

He nodded. “We need soda and food.”

“On it.” I pulled my phone out and started combing through places that delivered. I ordered for us and sank to the floor beside the boy I loved. I watched him for a few minutes, memorizing what it did to his face when he was worried beyond words. Every line it made and the stress making his shoulders slump.

“Is there anything I can do?” I offered.

He mustered up a smile for me. “You can keep me company. These boxes are a mess and I don’t even know what I’m looking for.” He went back to going through the box in front of him and I scooted closer to him.

When the food got there, Nickolas insisted on paying. I wasn’t surprised. He was in good enough spirits to make a joke about me paying him back in sexual favors. I told him I would just take the trash out.

“Surely you realize that I’d be the one doing stuff, right?” he said. “I just need you to lie there and make a lot of noise.”

I rolled my eyes and opened my soda. “I’d smack you for that comment, but I’m going to be nice.”

“Stretch for you, huh?”

My eyebrow went up. “Just for that, I’m wearing shorts to sleep tonight.”

He frowned. “Please don’t.”

“I’ll only hurt you if I don’t.”

“It won’t. I think you should even go as far as to sleep naked. Then we’ll both be happy.”

“Sounds uncomfortable.”

He smiled crookedly. “It’s not. It’s wonderful and one day, I will show you.”

“I don’t want you to show me.”

I was ignored as he started going through a new box. He’d been through more than three, and wasn’t finding what he was looking for. Nickolas seemed convinced his mother kept the contact information.

When it was time to pick up Dahlia, we got a break. We were careful to make sure she didn’t notice a thing wrong with us. She got her snack, her movie, and her nap. Then Nickolas and I went to the storage room and started in on more boxes.

Kim came home and didn’t even notice I was here. She went to her room to work and didn’t even check on Dahlia.

I tugged on Nickolas’ shirt and yawned. “It’s one in the morning. Can we go to bed now?”

“You can, Cupcake. I need to do this.”

“You can do it tomorrow. I’m not going to bed without you.” I was half alive, but I started pulling at his tie. He hadn’t even taken his uniform off. I had an excuse, he didn’t. He was so out of it that he didn’t even notice I started undressing him.

When Nickolas still didn’t move, I went to grab a pillow. I set it on the floor and lay down. My eyes closed in a second, but I didn’t fall asleep.

I heard him sigh. “Will you at least let me give you something to wear?”

I mumbled some kind of agreement, and he left. He came back with more pillows, blankets, and one of his shirts. I took the clothes and changed in his room. When I got back, he’d made a little bed for me. It was soft and warm and I wished he would just get into it with me.

I watched him fight a yawn off and that was it. “Nickolas, just sleep for an hour and I’ll leave you alone. I’m sleepy enough that you might get away with cuddling.”

He looked intrigued. “Fine. An hour.” He took off his socks and his pants before he got under the blanket with me. I moved back so that we were pressed together, then he put his arm around me. “I’m gonna keep you safe, Posey. I promise.”

I turned around and snuggled up to his chest. “I know you will. Just keep yourself safe too.”

He kissed the top of my head, but he didn’t make the promise.