You're my son, but you're not me
Ethan Crusher approached her slowly, watching her first from the doorway as she rocked his little sister and sang to lull her to sleep. Deanna looked up and saw his curious and bright gaze, the same as always. A young gentleman; and he was so grown up now.
He entered, encouraged by her smile. To him, she wasn't a mother like she was to Jonathan, she was a friend. Emily was always present in his memory and heart. From her, he had inherited the eyes and the smile, the hair and the elegant manners. His build and stern expression were from Daniel.
"How are they?" he whispered.
"They're fine..."
"And you?"
"I'm fine too."
He sat nearby, taking one of the pink bunnies in his hands.
"Tell me what's going on," Deanna said.
"I have doubts... about college."
"What’s the matter?"
"I'll have to go far away... It's exciting, but also a bit scary. I don't want to disappoint Dad."
"I doubt you could do anything to disappoint him, you’re his pride."
"Yes, and that's a bit of a burden, you know? What if I don't like the course?"
"Then you leave it and find something you do like," she said plainly.
"But... what will Dad say?"
"Have you talked to him about it?"
"No..."
"Ethan, your dad just wants you to feel good about yourself, that's all. He wants you to do whatever you like and enjoy it, to be happy. You don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations but your own. If you go to college and feel it’s not for you, then it’s not for you."
"He was always very studious and did everything Grandpa expected him to do... and he did it brilliantly..."
"But you’re not Daniel, you’re Ethan. You don’t have to follow in his footsteps if you don’t think that’s your path, and your dad will still be proud of you. What he expects is for you to find your own life and for it to be what you want; he loves you and that won’t change because you choose to be something different or find different horizons. Do you know why?"
"No..."
"Because you are a wonderful young man and his pride is not based on the achievements you reach, but on the quality of person you are. And believe me, you are such a good and kind person, a gentleman, considerate, attentive; always willing to help. He sees all that you are as his true achievement in life; he taught you the best he had to teach. Besides, he always says it: he expects nothing more than your happiness."
Ethan smiled a little, perhaps regaining some confidence in himself.
"Talk to him. He loves you more than anything in the world, he will listen and understand you, and you will know from his own words that it’s okay not to continue if it’s not your thing."
But that same night, Deanna realized for the first time what was about to happen: Ethan was going to leave.
She snuggled up to her husband a little closer than usual, seeking his warmth, and he hugged her as he always did. Something was bothering her.
"What’s wrong, Deanna?"
"Ethan is going to leave..." she said.
"Yes..."
"He’s going to leave."
"Not too far."
She buried her face deeper into his chest, and Daniel understood. The children were starting to fly, maybe not great distances, but still, Ethan would be the first to spread his wings. Then Naomi would follow, and eventually Jonathan, though that was still a long way off. And they still had a longer path ahead with their daughters.
But Daniel trusted him, just as Charles trusted Daniel. And even though they would be apart, the safety net would always be beneath the boy, watching over his flight. If he ever wanted to stop and rest, his father would be waiting for him. Because that’s what parents are like; that’s how Charles and Camila were, that’s how Daniel and Deanna were: no matter the miles, no matter the time, they would always be there to take his hand again.