You're the first love I know, mom
Coming home with her daughters was another challenge for Deanna, but if it weren't for Daniel's experience, she would surely lose her mind.
"I don't understand what you're so worried about, babe."
"I want to do it right."
"And you will. You always do. I get that it's natural for women to take care of babies... Though I don't know how it works," he said, leaning over one of the girls' cribs.
"You're not helping, Leonard."
"But I can learn, and if I can, so can you. Besides, that idiot knows a lot more than we do."
Deanna watched her father for a moment, the look of wonder on his face.
"It seems like you've never seen a baby before," she said.
"I have, but not ones this beautiful. It's... incredible."
"Have you thought about having kids with Susan?"
"Huh? At my age? No... Susan told me she doesn't want kids, and I respect that. Honestly, I don't know if I'd be a good father... I don't know if I'll be a good husband."
"What if she changes her mind one day?"
"Well... I guess you'd have a brother... I don't know... I'd give her anything, I swear."
"But you have to want it too."
"Yeah... Do you think they'll inherit your talent?"
Deanna laughed a little.
"I don't know... It could happen, or it might not. They're still so small."
"I hope they do," he replied thoughtfully.
"You know, you never told me about her."
"About who?"
"Your mother, my grandmother."
"She was a witch. What more do you need to know?"
"I'm sure she was more than that..."
Leonard thought for a moment. It had been a long time since he talked about his mother, a long time since he remembered her. The only link to his painful past was his daughter's voice, so similar to his mother's. But with her own mark, Deanna had made a wide difference from her grandmother.
"My mother, from what little I remember, was a smiling and beautiful woman. She had long blonde hair and sang with the same power you have. I was very young back then, but I still hear the arguments between them, the sounds of things breaking, the crying and the yelling... Sometimes I think they hated each other. He hated her, I'm sure, otherwise, he wouldn't have forced her to leave the opera..."
"That's sad..."
"That's why I told Crusher that if he held back your career, I'd break his legs, and I stand by it... She gradually let sadness take over, singing was the only thing that made her happy... My father ended up molding her into what he wanted, and she let herself be dragged by him... A miserable man and a witch... Terrible parents life gave me! When I turned 6, they left me in a boarding school. I used to go home for summer vacations, but it was always the same crap going back to that house. I stopped going when I turned, I think, 13, and they didn't care."
Her heart tightened listening to him, not because of the story, but because he told it as if it wasn't his own, as if all of it had been something natural and common.
"I didn't have siblings. Then my father sent me to college, he wanted me to continue with the business. While studying, I met Philippa, I really fell in love with her. Really, Deanna... And then Alice and her family appeared, and they agreed among themselves that I would inherit her father's business too. That disgusting old man didn't have any other children either. And I was a coward. My father threatened to leave me with nothing, and your witch grandmother, instead of supporting me, conspired with Alice because she was 'more suitable' for someone like me," he made a face of disgust, as if he considered himself less than nothing.
"Didn't you do anything?"
"Nope... Just missed her and was a coward. Don't even ask me why; I guess I wasn't like I am now back then. I was easily intimidated and deep down I didn't want to disappoint them... I don't know... They were terrible parents and even so, I wanted them to be proud of me."
"Because despite everything, you loved them."
"Ha! I don't remember a single word of encouragement from him, and she stopped being affectionate to become a harpy. She never lacked derogatory names. She had plenty! Bitch... After I married Alice, she died. A year later, my father, and that's how I took over the company. Then it was just a matter of time before Alice's father followed them to hell, and I was left in charge of everything."
"Did you never have a good relationship with Alice?"
"Are you kidding? Do you know who she was like? Like that idiot's ex, she was like Laura. The sly smile, the regal presence, and inside, a black pit. We never had any bond; she didn't even show love or affection. From the beginning, she made it clear that she didn't marry me because she loved me. It was a capital alliance, not a marriage. I wanted to divorce many times, but she always had a clause, a committee of lawyers, a rule from her father's will. In the end, I got tired and started being like you knew me and doing what I did... And then I didn't care... I was ashamed to face your mother, I could have looked for her, but I knew I couldn't stand her contempt... If I had done it, I would have known about you sooner. At least I had something good."
"You have more good things than you see... I see them, and Susan does too. Your love for music is one of them. And if you doubt it, you're a great father, at least to me. You've helped me since we met, you helped me step on stage for the first time, you supported me when I separated from Daniel, and you brought us back together."
"Because you let me in, Deanna. You saw all my mess and still accepted me... I had forgotten what affection was, since your mother."
Audrey moved a little and made a faint sound, and Leonard looked at her again with that surprised expression.
That conversation with her father left Deanna with a strange feeling. The coldness with which he had recounted all the lovelessness he had endured. She grew up without him, yet she never lacked her mother's love and respect; all those words encouraging her to do more because she knew she could, had given her self-confidence, a desire to fight, empathy for others.
She looked at her daughters sleeping; their being complete and happy people depended a lot on how she would raise them; on how much love they would get from their parents, how much they would be supported and accompanied. Parental love is the main ingredient that shapes children's lives; she imagined Leonard's pain growing up hearing those fights, hearing the insults, and how lonely he must have felt, unprotected.
But not everything was the fault of those disinterested parents; one also reaches an age where one can make their own decisions and choose whether to continue with the sorrow, as Leonard had done, or heal the scars and seek happiness.
Grace and Audrey would not only have the unconditional and respectful love of their parents, their siblings, and the rest of their family; they would also learn about affection and confidence to face life. Just as Ethan was about to do.