A Queen Among Blood: Chapter Fifty-Two - Yildiz

A Queen Among Blood: Chapter Fifty-Two - Yildiz
“Yildiz, meet Oshmin, the God of Life and Death.”

Those words keep repeating themselves over and over in my head. Every single one ringing with truth. My animai is the God, Oshmin? But… that can’t be. He’s a sanguidae, he… he’s called himself Osiah several times and never have I felt him lying. This doesn’t make any sense; this has to be another trick.

“You really are a fucking prick, Jartre,” Morrtemis hisses.

“Oh, I’m the prick? I may have caused this one some trauma, but I never lied. I told her from the beginning her animai wasn’t who he said he was. I admitted this was all about my revenge on him. I don’t deny any of what I’ve done, but unlike all of you I wasn’t dishonest about it.” He lets me go leaving me frozen in place. I can’t even will my body to move. I just stay here stiff as a statue as I listen to my world unravel.

Jartre walks over to the barrier around Osi… now I’m not even sure what to call him, and leans against it, “You’ve done a fine job shielding her from me but were you really trying to protect her from me or protect her from the truth?” he mocks, his words making my blood run cold. Could that be true?

“I protected her because I love her! Surely, even you can understand,” he says spitefully.

“And yet you lied and deceived her every chance you got. Doesn’t sound like love to me,” he snorts.

Suddenly all the barriers drop and Osi… Osh… WHOEVER, is shoving Jartre aside and sprinting over to me. He reaches out to touch me but I back away, my feet now remembering how to move.

“Yildiz…” he whispers, hurt and shame clear in his voice.

“It’s true, isn’t it?” I say, tears pricking my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

“I can explain,” he pleads.

“You told me your name was Osiah, you told me you were the first sanguidae and not once did I sense you lying,” I say, my voice confused and bitter.

He takes in a deep breath, “I go by Osiah now, so I wasn’t lying about my name, and I am the first sanguidae. It’s what I became when Jartre cursed me,” he spits in indignation throwing a look in Jartre’s direction.

“You just omitted the part where you’re a God! The God of Life and Death! The creator of the nagata!” I screech, my chest heaving as hurt and betrayal burn through my blood.

“I’m not that person anymore,” he sighs.

I scoff, “What’s sad is you believe that. I knew you were hiding something but I never in a million years thought it was this. I told you I love you and the truth is I had no idea who I was saying it to. All this time I gave myself to someone and I didn’t know who they really were because they didn’t think I was worthy of the truth,” I spit.

“That is not how I feel at all. You are worthy of so much, so much more than me. If I could go back and fix what I’ve done I would,” he says in a pained voice as he goes to hold my face, but I smack his hands aside, ignoring the protest in my hands.

“Don’t you dare touch me! I told you that lies, and deception are things I cannot live with, and still, you chose to hide the truth from me. So don’t you dare touch me. Sanguidae, God, whatever you are, just get away from me,” I spit out as my voice shakes with hurt and fury.

“What a mess you’ve made, Oshmin,” Jartre laughs.

“And you can go to hell!” I shout at Jartre.

“Aren’t we feisty?” he says in amusement.

“You son of a bitch, I’ll kill you for this!” Osi… Oshmin shouts as he lunges at Jartre, but he’s halted as a wall of fuchsia energy appears between them.

“ENOUGH!” My mother shouts making the very earth beneath our feet shake, “I have had enough of this. How much time has to pass before the two of you grow the hell up?! How many lives have to be lost before you pull your heads out of your asses?” she says, her tone getting angrier. From the moment mother made my sisters and me, not once have I witnessed her get angry. Until tonight. I guess even the Goddess of Peace and Love has her limits.

“Now look what you’ve gone and done, you went and pissed off Zarseti, and that’s not easy,” Morrtemis chastises.

“I didn’t start this,” Jartre argues.

“No, Apaki did, so allow me to hit you with a cold dose of reality because I have held my tongue long enough. Apaki. Never. Loved. You,” she says putting emphasis on every word, “The Goddess of Desire and Mischief, a deadly combination if ever I saw one. You loved her, Jartre, I know you did. She was your world, but you were never hers. She never loved you or Oshmin, you were just playthings to her. She loved that you both desired her and believe me, she couldn’t wait for the day you two found out. She was looking forward to it and it bit her in the ass.”

“Neck, technically,” Morrtemis corrects. Mother turns to look at her and Morrtemis raises her hands in surrender, “Shutting up now.”

Mother turns back to Jartre and sighs, “You were hurt and betrayed, and we understand that, but none of that was Oshmin’s fault. He was as clueless as you were, but you punished him all the same. Cursed him and turned him into a monster and had him kill the woman you loved, and still to this day you blame him for her death because you can’t live with the guilt that it was your fault, but let’s face it, what the hell did she expect? But you couldn’t leave it at that, could you? No, you let your darkness build to such an extent that it nearly decimated this world. You could have gone to Merlos for help, but no, you knew better and what did we all end up with as a result? Azadou. And even in your darkest moment, Fretez still held out hope for you, and what did it get her? Killed. Apaki’s actions led to the deaths of two Gods, and one being cursed and a mess we are all still cleaning up to this day, but enough is enough. It is time you accepted the truth. She never cared about you, and she is dead because of your actions. Fretez is dead because of your actions, and you can either continue to live in denial or accept it and move on with your existence,” says mother in desperation.

I stand there in shock as I’m hit with wave after wave of shocking information. It’s like truth vomit just pouring out of my mother without an end in sight. The story I thought I knew about my animai being the first sanguidae ended up being so much worse. I’m somehow paying for some love triangle among three Gods that resulted in Gods being killed and cursed. The very Orraikam I protect, the remnants of Fretez’s magic, only exists because a Goddess thought screwing over two other Gods would be amusing. I’ve always defended the Gods, but fucking hell, no wonder most people hate them. We’re all suffering because of their petty fucking drama. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

“You. Fucking. Bitch,” Jartre seethes as his aura grows in size.

“This is getting us nowhere,” Morrtemis sighs, “Ezillus!” Not a second later a bright neon-red aura with a ring of silver around it appears between everyone.

“You called,” says Ezillus cheerfully.

“Get Jartre out of here, and whatever you do, don’t let him out of your sight,” Morrtemis warns.

Ezillus sighs and walks over to Jartre slinging an arm around him, “What the hell have you gone and done this time? I can’t leave you alone for five minutes.” And just like that both Ezillus and Jartre’s auras disappear from my vision.

I’m still trying to process everything that has just happened. I keep hoping I’ll wake up and this will all have just been another terrible nightmare. But much like the day I found Nuray’s body, I’m painfully awake. This is all really happening. I’ve just been some toy for the Gods to play with. One God manufacturing my love life, one torturing me and another lying and deceiving me. And thinking about it, I can’t believe a selfish, psychotic, egotistical jerk like Jartre made the pure and good beings that are raitruums, like how does that make any sense?

“Thank you, he needed to hear that,” says Oshmin softly.

“Don’t you dare thank me, you’re not any better. Jartre was right. You lied and deceived my daughter. You had every opportunity to tell the truth and you dodged it at every turn. To show her so much disrespect when she has shown you nothing but love and patience. I should kick your ass myself,” she rants indignantly.

“I’d pay to see that,” chimes in Morrtemis.

“It’s not like you told her either! And you’re the one who paired us together. You started all of this,” he snaps.

“Oh, grow up! I did you a kindness, and it is not my job to sit her down and give her your biography, you should have respected her enough to do it yourself. So get off your high horse, you’re not as innocent as you think,” she huffs.

It’s true. I asked my mother for answers, and she gave me none, but she was right, it wasn’t her place to tell me his truth, it was his. If you love someone and respect them, then you don’t deceive them. You don’t betray their trust like this. My mother was giving him the chance to do the right thing by me and he failed. I wasn’t worth the effort. Truth matters so much to me, it’s a fundamental part of who I am, and he denied me the right to the truth at every turn and for what? Because he claims he’s not that person anymore. I think all the power he possesses is more than proof that that’s not true no matter what he feels.

Suddenly everything begins to make perfect sense and I find myself laughing hysterically. The power, the differences between him and other sanguidae, the scent. Hell even the flecks of silver in his aura if I think about it. I’ve only ever seen silver in the auras of the Gods. The unnatural colour hair that Jartre allowed me to see when he took Oshmin’s form. I imagine before his curse his aura was different. Probably azure blue with a ring of silver. What a moron I was. How did I not put it together? And now that night finally makes sense.

“I think she’s lost it,” says Morrtemis in a worried tone.

“Yildiz?” says Oshmin, slowly walking over to me.

“That’s why I caught your scent that night. I thought it had just wafted in on the breeze,” I laugh.

“What are you talking about?” he asks in confusion.

“The day we met, wasn’t when I discovered I had an animai. It was a month and a half before that when I was at the Tian Pack. Setia and I were in the throne room and two nagatas had just crossed the border, one of them heavily tortured and on the edge of death.” He sucks in a breath, no doubt knowing exactly what I’m talking about, I mean, he made the nagata after all. “Mei and Chris came in and when they did I caught your scent. I didn’t understand where it was coming from, since it was just a scent with no person, and I saw whisps of colour around Mei which I’d completely forgotten about because I didn’t understand it, but now it makes sense. Mei told us later on that, that night she’d been visited by the God, Oshmin, who showed her kindness and compassion and told her of a bright future,” I say as tears fill my eyes, “So don’t you dare stand there and tell me you’re not him anymore. You showed yourself to Mei, you didn’t call yourself Osiah or tell her you were a sanguidae. To her, you were just Oshmin, her creator. The God who ignored her prayers begging for help,” I say bitterly as tears fall from my eyes.

Oshmin lets out a deep sigh and scrubs his hands down his face, “I was going to tell you.”

“You told a complete stranger who you were, but me, your animai, wasn’t worth telling that you’re really a God,” I say with a quivering voice.

“I may be a God, but I’m still a man,” he says softly, as he reaches out placing his hands on my shoulders.

I pull away in disgust, “You’re not a man. A real man can admit when he’s wrong. A real man doesn’t lie to someone they claim to love! You’re not a man, you’re just a coward,” I say acerbically. He takes a step back and I wipe the tears from my face. “I want you to leave.”

“Please don’t do this,” he begs, “Just give me a chance to explain everything.”

“I can’t bear to be around you, so I want you to go. Now leave,” I say coldly. He stands there for a moment before finally disappearing, only leaving whisps of his aura behind. I cover my mouth to hold back a sob that threatens to pass my lips.

“Yildiz…” my mother says softly.

“Don’t,” I say holding my hand up to stop her, “I understand why you didn’t tell me, but I can’t talk to you right now. I’m standing here feeling like a fool because everyone knew the truth but me. So just don’t. I need to be alone.”

She nods slowly, “As you wish.”

“For what it’s worth, he truly didn’t mean to hurt you,” says Morrtemis before she and my mother disappear.

The moment they’re gone I fall to my knees and let the tears fall freely and begin sobbing uncontrollably. Each sob feels like a blade piercing my heart. So this is what a broken heart feels like. I trusted him. I gave him every opportunity and he threw it in my face. Who does this to someone they love? People were right; the Gods truly are cruel.