CHAPTER TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-ONE: HE DIDN’T STOP

CHAPTER TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-ONE: HE DIDN’T STOP
My eyes stung.

But I had promised myself yesterday never to cry for Ethan again, so I held it back.

My breathing was heavy as I tried to control myself.

I held the paper by the edge.

The small cut already tearing its way through ready to divide the paper into two, but I stopped myself.

Unlocking my desk drawer, I pushed it inside, and then locked it after.

This hurt more than I expected it to.

It hurt worse because I could still remember this very day clearly at the back of my eyes.

That was the very first day Ethan had hurt me. 

The next day, I walked into my office to see another rose on my desk with a note attached.

And this time, I did not bother to ask my assistant who sent it because I already knew the answer.

I sat on my desk in the afternoon during lunch break as I found myself unfolding the paper not able to hold myself back.

And then, I read the words.

“I have come to peace with the fact that you are never going to reply to any of my notes.

Although they seem more like letters with how long they are.

I swear I try to shorten them every single time, but the words just keep flowing.

Look, I’m doing it even now.

Please do tell me if the letters I’m sending seem too medieval for you.

I promise to look for another way to pass my message to you then.

Although I doubt you’ll ever reply to me.

But I like to think that you actually read my notes, Leah.

I hope you really do.

By the way, I saw you last night with that bastard Killian.

I’ll kill myself before I ever call him your fiance.

But you looked very happy with him, Leah.

My children did too.

I saw the way they smiled and laughed with him.

It made me furious even when I had no right to be after how I had treated you.

But I couldn’t help it.

I still pray that you leave him though.

He’s not worthy to have you, Leah.

No one is.

And yes, I pray these days.

Infact, I started praying a long time ago.

The day they told me you were dead actually.

When I couldn’t find you anywhere, so I turned to God.

And maybe it was my prayer, but I doubt it was.

It’s hard to believe God would have listened to the prayers of a sinner like me.

But then, that doesn’t matter as long as you are alive today.

I love you so very much, Leah.

So much that I cannot breathe just thinking of a life without you.

Even if I deserved it.”

“My dearest Leah,

I’m so sorry for not believing you that day at the company, Leah.

I foolishly let the cops arrest you for stealing the money.

I should have known you’ll never do something like that.

I’m sorry, Leah.”

I squeezed the note in my hands, unlocking my drawer, the same exact one I had kept with the previous note, and I locked it away.

I could hear his voice in my head as I read those words.

And I hated every bit of it.

That was the second day he had hurt me.

It felt like there was a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

One I wasn’t going to let it ignite anymore emotions in me so I swallowed, moving Ethan to the deepest part of my head.

Day Twenty-six.

I still flinched as I picked up Ethan’s note from my desk.

One would think I should have gotten used to it after twenty-six days.

But with Ethan, it was nearly impossible.

Taking a deep breath like always to calm myself, I unfolded the paper.

“I heard your wedding was postponed to next month yesterday, and I couldn’t be more happy.

It seems God does really answer my prayers.

I’m going to pray harder this time that it gets cancelled.

I’m sorry, but not sorry for my words.

I’ll be a hypocrite to hope you get married to that bastard.

I’ll still pray and hope that you don't love him either, and there is only me in your heart.

Even though I know that’s near impossible, especially with how much you hate me.

But there’s no harm hoping.

I should probably ask how my twins are doing.

But with twenty-seven letters gone unanswered, I don’t want to delude myself.

I still and will forever love you, Leah.

Until the day I die.”

“My dearest, Leah,

I’m so sorry for not standing by your side that day at the company’s party when our sex tape was released.

I should have supported you.

You never deserved to go through all that alone, and I’m so sorry for that Leah.”