Few Days Later
RUSSO EL MASSIMO
For the past few days, Rosaline has been acting like I no longer existed in her world and I have been fully reciprocating her actions. Acting like she no longer existed in my world too but the truth was that right now, she seemed to be the only thing in my world.
I thought of her every fucking minute. The thoughts of her occupied my head effortlessly and there were countless times when I just wanted to yank her close to me and take control of her until she admitted that she wanted me. But each time I wanted to do so, the thoughts of her crying like she did the other night stopped me.
I had made her cry so much and this time not from pleasure but from pains. I didn't want a repeat of that and so I was maintaining my distance from her just like she so wanted it.
I had stopped going to work too because well, Cara was the reason I was going to work so dutifully anyways. There was no reason to go to the company every fucking day when I wouldn't even be able to say a word to her. And also, I couldn't stand seeing Cara and that bastard together. My self control would eventually snap if I keep seeing that shit head close to her.
"What are you even doing, Russo?" I groaned at myself and looked at the half done painting in front of me.
A painting of Caramia and this time, a painting edging towards perfection. I knew every curve of her body, I knew every mole she had, I knew exactly how her body felt. I knew everything about her face... I knew everything so the painting was easier this time around. Easier and better.
"You are so fucked up" I got up from the chair, dropping the painting brush. I pulled off the apron and headed out of the atelier, slamming the door hard behind me.
I had to meet up with someone tonight.
ROSALINE
I watched as the black car zoomed away, my gaze fixated on it until it was out of my sight. Russo had gone out and I was left alone at home, it wasn't like there was much difference when he was home anyways.
We have never been this distant from each other. Even before any of this happened, we at least talked for a few minutes everyday but not anymore.
Now, Russo walks past me without a single word and everytime it happens, my heart hurts. It hurts to be ignored without a single piece of emotion written on his face. He doesn't say a word to me, he doesn't look at me and it's so obvious that he has moved on already.
Good for him though. Very good for him. I am the fool who is incapable of moving on as fast as he did. I think about Russo all the fucking time. Time heals but the more time I spend away from Russo, the worse it becomes. Time isn't doing a very good job healing me up. Just last night, I had only being able to stop myself in front of his door. I had left my room, just wanting to throw myself in his arms but I had managed to stop myself eventually.
I ended this myself and I had no right to try to continue it, especially when Russo clearly wasn't interested in me anymore. The thoughts of what woman was pleasing him now messed up with my head.
I sighed as I walked past the atelier like a forlorn soul, seeking for comfort. I stopped a few steps after the door and looked back at it.
I knew Russo had been spending some time in there these days. He was usually in there whenever I returned from work.
I moved towards the door and held onto the knob, wondering if I wanted to see what he was doing in there. What if was the painting of the new woman in his life? What if...
"I'll just take a look and leave. It doesn't matter anyways" I assured myself and pushed the door open. I walked into the painting room and my eyes softened at the sight in front of me.
An unfinished painting... Of me! Russo was making another painting of me.
I felt my eyes get wet as I shut the door behind me and walked further into the room. The painting was so beautiful and so... I didn't have the mind of an artist but I knew the difference between this painting and the first painting of me that he had made.
The first painting had clearly focused on my body and making me sexually appealing but this painting... I could feel emotions just staring at it.
How could he ignore me so well, act like he didn't care about me anymore and yet be in here, creating this masterpiece?
"Russo" I brushed away the first tears that rolled down.
Russo clearly still wanted me. I was definitely wrong, thinking he had moved on completely already. If he had moved on, he wouldn't have done this.
"I am..." I struggled with the words to say as I sat on the stool in front of the painting.
I hated this. I hated that we couldn't be together so easily. I hated that my family ever adopted Russo into the family. Why didn't another family do it? Why didn't we meet under different circumstances?
I palmed my face, soaking my palms with my tears. I wanted Russo by my side so much. I needed him so much. It was hard living without him. It was so hard that I wondered how I had ever lived without him before.
"Why can't this just be a bit easier? Why..." I found myself breaking down.
After days of trying hard not to shed a tear while thinking about Russo, I was finally letting the tears flow freely.
I was hurting myself and from this painting, it was obvious that I was hurting Russo too but he was just too good at hiding his hurt.
"I am sorry, Russo. I am really sorry" I cried. It hurt me more that we couldn't get back together, that the only solution here was to draw further and further apart until when all of these would become plain, old memories.
*
I was back in my room after quietly exiting the painting room. I had settled down and done a few things on my laptop to get my mind off everything once again.
I was thinking of taking a cold bath when my phone rang. It was Rick calling. Rick had been there for me all through this and I enjoyed his comfort but the fact that he made his advances still made me feel a bit uncomfortable too. His advances were mostly subtle but even the tiniest advances made me feel uncomfortable at the moment.
I picked up the call, a blank look on my face.
"Hey Rosaline"
"Rick" I tried to call his name with some enthusiasm but I wasn't sure if that worked.
"You sound down"
Okay, my attempted enthusiasm definitely didn't work.
"It's nothing. I am good" I assured him.
"You don't sound like you are good. I knew letting you stay home alone all day was a mistake." He sighed over the phone.
"It's been some days now and you are still not over him and his manipulations completely. Let's go out."
"Rick, I'd rather just stay home tonight."
"No, let's go out. I will take you to a nice, luxurious restaurant. The environment and the food will definitely make you feel better"
I knew Rick would not give up on trying to convince me so I decided to give in easily anyways.
"Alright then. I will get ready and come over to your place." I was avoiding anything that would have Rick come over to this place. I didn't want anything that would make Rick and Russo meet, especially now that I knew Russo wasn't over me yet.
"Awesome. I will be waiting for you."