Chapter Sixty

Chapter Sixty
Lincoln

I was nervous.

I wasn’t nervous before, but I was nervous now.

Elli and I were unfortunately stuck together for nearly an hour until my excitement finally swelled down enough that we could pull apart. I felt bad because Elliot didn’t even get to finish, but according to him I had all the time in the world to repay him back when we actually had the chance and weren’t surrounded by a household of people. The smile on my face from that alone wouldn’t go away.

Seeing him wince and walking carefully to my jointed bathroom in my study should have made me feel even worse but the feeling of complete satisfaction was more accurate than I wanted to admit. When I tried to help him clean up he pushed me away with a growl,

“Don’t you fucking dare, Lincoln Nolan. I swear to the lord above I will kill you if you so much as touch me right now.”

“I was just trying to help.” I mumble with a hidden grin behind my smile.

He gives me the stink eye while leaning against my bathroom counter. “Help is a strong word. You’re more rubbing than helping to clean your mess up.”

“I was just making sure you were okay. You’re pretty sore after all.”

“Why did that sound like pure joy than actual concern?”

“Elli, I would never wish bodily harm on you-”

“Except when its from your own doing from sex-”

“Only when you’re enjoying it too.” I finish for the both of us.

He gives me a deadpan look that I missed more than I ever thought I did. Seeing him so casually carefree with me again only made me lean in and kiss him breathless, standing there still butt ass naked. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to not touch him for more than a few seconds now that he was back in my grasp.

Finally letting him go, his eyes closed half mast, lips puckered and swollen, cheeks slightly flushed, I knew it was going to be hard to get anything done around here anymore. “You sure you don’t want to keep going? You’re cock is pretty loud down there.” I whisper, looking at his full hard on that was already leaking substance.

“Ugh.” He moans, pushing me away. “Definitely tonight. Right now you need to officially meet your son.”

And that sobered me up in an instant.

Now, after both getting washed up, dressed and looking somewhat presentable, we both stood at my door taking a deep sigh. Looking over I could see the glow about him that wasn’t there when he first arrived.

“He already knows who I am?” I ask again.

He nods. “Yes. He does.” He softly whispers.

“I guess that’s something. I feel like I’ll be more nervous than he will be.”

“He’ll be shy for sure. He’s been wanting to meet you since the day I told him who you were. Trust me Lin, that little boy wants you in his life. But he’s scared.”

I frown. “Scared?”

He nods, looking a little pensive. “He’s scared you’re going to reject him.”

My eyes widen in shock. “I would never in a million years reject him. He came from me. He’s mine. But most of all, he came from you. He’s ours Elli. I’ll want him forever.”

He gives me a smile that made me feel so whole. “He’s a lot like you. Even if I wanted to forget you, he makes it impossible. I literally have been living and raising a mini you. He’s stubborn as you are and just as fierce when it comes to his morals. Your traits are strong within him even without you being present.” He admits.

“I don’t like that I haven’t been. I wish I had been there since the day you found out. But I understand why.” I quickly state as I watch his features turn into guilt. “But from today onward, he’ll be raised and loved by the both of us.”

His eyes become a little misty, with his smile wavering a bit. Clasping my hand in his, leaning his body firmly against mine he whispers, “And I hoped for that since the day he was born.”

Taking another deep breath I open the door, squeezing his hand tightly where I didn’t plan to let it go. “Okay, it’s time for me to go and meet this little mini me of mine.”

We walk out into the hall and back into the foyer. I hear laughter in the music room, so we head that way. Axel was the first to see me. Quickly coming to my side he stares at mine and Elliot’s joined hands and his face softens.

“So, I guess our family just got bigger, didn’t it?”

I couldn’t help the brightening of my eyes when I look at him. He nods to the piano where Cyan was sitting trying to play little notes here and there, my birth father sitting beside him. My breath catches as I watch him stare down at Cyan with such love that it didn’t take a scientist to figure out what my mother obviously already did.

“Did you know?” Axel asks me, looking over to Elliot who flushed even more.

“No.” Was all I could say knowing exactly what he was asking me.

“Perhaps you would like a minute alone with him then.” He nods to Tristan who was carefully watching Zachary pull the strings on one of the guitars we had.

He reaches over and taps Cameron, who finally showed up with Sia, who just looked confused. Together they all slowly gather the kids and other adults and quietly left the room. I slowly walk up to my birth father and gently tap him on the shoulder; Cyan completely focused on the keys.

Andi looks up at me with a watery smile. Looking back at his grandson, he didn’t know had, he gives him a gentle stare before carefully moving off the seat. Cyan didn’t even notice, his little fingers messing up on the keys. He doesn’t huff like kids his age do when they make a mistake. His lips thin, his brows furrow and he goes back to doing it again reminding me of myself when I had to sit here for hours learning how to play.

Biting my lip, my heart pounding erratically in my chest, I look over to where its just Elliot now. He stood right where I left him, looking at the two of us with a mixture of hope and nervousness himself. Looking back at Cyan, who I was now associating as my son, I carefully say,

“Would you like to learn how to play?”

He jerks at the sound of my voice, swinging his head to look up at me and instantly pulls his hands back into his lap.

He blinks. I could instantly tell he was throwing up his walls, looking guarded and trembling just a bit probably from his own nervousness. I instantly wanted to appease his fears and anxiety. The strong feeling of protectiveness I have never felt before, even with Elliot, overcame me in that very moment.

“I could teach you. It’s not that hard once you learn the keys.” I continue to softly say, desperately not wanting him to fear me. “Would you like me to show you?”

He sucks in his bottom lip as he nods slowly.

“May I sit?” I point to the spot next to him and again he nods.

Once I sit down, my body hums with the recognition of his own. The feeling of wanting to gather him up into my arms and hugging the crap out of him overcame me so strongly that I had to take another deep breath. I place my hands on the keys. “The first thing we have to learn is the basic keys.”

I play the notes where a soft simple tune plays out. I look over to him completely focused on my hands and for a moment I see the joy radiating off him. “Certain keys have letters to learn from. As a beginner I’ll place the letters on here for you to practice with so you can get used to which ones are which.”

“Will I be able to come here often?” His small voice reaches my ears.

I stop playing to stare at him, his little eyes round with hope that I never wanted to extinguish. “I was actually hoping that you and your mommy could live here with me.” I tell him, hearing a small gasp from Elliot. But neither of us look over to him as we continue to look at one another.

“In this big house?” His eyes brighten up even more and I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. This little guy was my twin through and through. No mistaking that he was definitely mine. “Does that mean you’ll be my daddy?” He carefully asks without any filter.

I turn my body to fully face him. “If you’ll have me, I would love to be just that. So, what do you say, will you be my son?”

Tears sprang into his eyes as he vigorously nods. “I always wanted you to be my dad, so of course I do.” He suddenly stands up on the seat and throws his little body against me. I instantly wrap my arms around him, feeling how small he truly was.

My heart swelled with something I didn’t even know I was missing, something this little being in my arms could only fill. Squeezing him tightly, I never wanted to let him go and planned to never do.