43. Love And Forgiveness

**Avery**

I turned around. “Yes?”

Conroy kept his head down. He folded his arms.

“Bianca likes little notes written by hand rather than printed ones,” he said. “She likes when you add them to gifts. That’s all I wanted to say. You can leave now.”

Conroy was taken by surprise when I hugged him. I made sure that everything I was feeling was transmitted through my touch.

“Everything will be alright,” I told him. “You don’t have to put up a face. It’s just us here. Not the paparazzi, not total strangers. Just us.”

I didn’t think anything of it. It just felt right. I forgot why I was so worried in the first place. In the end, all I wanted to do was be there for him.

Conroy hugged me back. His hands trembled.

“I… I don’t know how to feel. My parents and brother are gone forever, and it’s all because of *her*. I’ve lost them, my marriage, my girlfriend and my sister. All of my emotions are battling each other inside me. Inside my head! My thoughts are all over the place and I can't focus on a single thing. Forcing myself to eat only works if I have a timer set up on my phone. I absolutely despise getting up most mornings. I’ve been ignoring my desire to shift. A lot of the time I can’t even add cream to my coffee without blanking out. All that to say, I’m finally, utterly alone.”

“They might not be coming back, but that doesn’t mean you’re alone.” I started rubbing his back. “You have your grandparents and uncle. They’re back in your home state, ready to accept you into the pack at any time. You have your friends, including me. We never went anywhere. We were just waiting for you to reach out when you’re ready. So, you’ll never have to face the future alone. Not for a long time. We won’t let you.”

“I want to leave this place and vanish from existence.”

“No matter where you go or how long you stay there, you will always have people waiting for you.”

We stayed like that in complete but comfortable silence. Conroy’s shaking had slowed down to a halt. Just to fill in the silence, I started humming and patting his back.

“Don’t even start,” Conroy mumbled. I chuckled.

“Nah. I’ll baby my best friend all I want. Want some of Papa’s milk?”

He punched me in the stomach. Despite the pain, all I could do was laugh. When I sneaked a peek at his face, he was smiling.

The smile shrank. “How is Bianca?”

I knew what he actually wanted to say so I answered the question he didn’t have the courage to ask.

I pulled away just enough for him to see me clearly.

“To be honest, she hasn't completely forgiven you yet.” I straightened my expression. “But she’s willing to talk to you if you tell her that you want to meet beforehand. I can give you her new number. She already gave me permission to do so. What do you think about it?”

________

**Bianca**

My intention was to take only what I needed. The rest of my inheritance, besides what my grandmother left me, would be transferred to my account by the end of the week. My parents’ lawyer had a long, good talk with mine, and the result is promising.

I glanced down at my red open suitcase from my place on the sofa. The pale pink color of the walls around me reminded me of the fact that I’ve never painted it a different color since my highschool days.

A knock sounded at the door, breaking me away from my thoughts. I sighed. “I don’t want to be bothered, Nickoya,” I said.

She took every opportunity she could to try and goat me into telling her what happened the night of the fight at the park. She knew that something went down that night. I couldn’t tell how she found out that I was there on the last night that anyone saw Jasmine alive. Someone must have told her.

Ever since then, she’s been like a dog with a scent, hounding me for even a hint of what went down, if I noticed anything strange, or the likes. I’ve been dodging her as if she had bad breath.

Which is sad, considering this is the most she had spoken to me since my return.

It shows that she’s happy to engage in conversation if it's something she cares about.

Nickoya knocked a second time. I ran my fingers through my straightened hair as I forced myself to stand up. I didn’t let her know that I was coming.

If I was lucky, then she finally realized I had nothing to say to her and left.

Conroy was on the other side when I opened the door.

My breath caught in my throat.

His arm hung in the air as if it were about to knock a third time. He avoided my gaze, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck.

“Hi. Remember when Avery told you I was coming to see you? Well, here I am.”

_________

I led him away from the upper floor, past inquisitive ears, and into the sun room.

One wall was entirely made of glass, providing a clear view of the backyard garden.

Imported palm trees towered over the house. I occupied the round, white sofa with my back facing it. Conroy sat across from me, his elbows on his knees with his fingers joined together.

I kept my expression straight.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

Conroy stared at my feet.

“When was the last time we sat alone like this without arguing?” He asked.

A slideshow of all the moments we interacted in the last couple of months played in my mind’s eye. I grimaced. “A long time.”

He chuckled. Meeting my eyes, he asked, “Does he make you happy?”

I didn’t need to think on that, but I raised my eyebrow just the same. “Yes.”

“Yeah, I believe that. From the moment I saw you two standing side by side willingly for the first time, I knew that you two had bonded, forming a connection that was as strong as steel.”

He looked down. “I already knew the answers, but I still had to ask for the sake of asking. In all honesty, I don’t know what I’m going to say. Despite how many times I’ve prepared, I’m lost for words. I have no right to come talk to you as if we were close friends during all this. We were, but I destroyed the connection we had by listening to tall tales without proof. I don’t expect to be forgiven, but I wanted my regrets to be known. And I know exactly where to start. Bianca, I’m sorry.”

As soon as he was finished talking, Conroy lowered his head once again. Seeing his expressions and reading his body language encouraged me to lower my walls a bit. My shoulders released their tension and my arms rested lazily by my side.

This was what I wanted from him, for him to realize his mistake. And yet, my mouth could only remain open for less than a second before gluing itself shut.

The anger, the pain of being misunderstood, the hurt. There are still phantoms of it left inside me, but they’re not as strong as they used to be. The strongest emotions I could feel were pity… and love.

Our time as lovers had ended. Maybe in another world we would have been a happy family, but not this one. Yet I don’t hate the end result.

I’m no longer the only one who has lost something. Rather than that, I’ve only gained. And someday I know Conroy will too. From the moment I met him, I knew how strong he could be. Now, he only has to realize it in himself.

Due to my silence, Conroy pushed himself off the couch.

“I wish you the very best. Maybe I’ll see you again in the future,” he said before taking his leave.

As he walked by me, I reached out and grabbed his hand. He gingerly turned around to see me staring up at him.

“Send me some pictures of the places you go.” I smiled.

He smiled back. “It’ll be my pleasure.”

________

**Author’s note: ok, I’m getting emotional. Just one more chapter left. I will miss these guys.**