Chapter 205 Two Hundred & Five

Chapter 205 Two Hundred & Five
EMMA POV

Three months after I visited with Mia, I got another letter.

This time, it was lighter. Happier. She was talking about her progress in rehab. About the friends she'd made. About finally understanding herself.

I wrote back.

And we started a routine.

Every week, a letter from Mia. Every week, a letter back from me.

It was healing. For both of us. But I didn't have time to think about that now because Christmas was here.

My parents were at our house. Ryan's mom was at our house. Ryan was here helping with the food. Grace was here running around like a tiny tornado.

And I was throwing up in the bathroom.

Again. For the third time this morning.

"You okay in there?" my mom called through the door.

"Fine!" I called back, even though I was absolutely not fine.

What was wrong with me?

I came out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen where everyone was gathered.

My mom took one look at me and frowned.

"You look terrible," she said.

"Thanks, Mom," I said.

"Are you pregnant?" she asked bluntly.

Everyone stopped talking.

I laughed.

"Hell no," I said. "Absolutely not. We're not having any more kids."

Grace was three. Three and a half, actually. She was perfect. She was enough. We had decided we were done.

Ryan and I had talked about it. We'd decided that one kid was perfect for us.

"You sure?" my mom asked, not convinced.

"I'm sure," I said. "I'm just tired. Work has been crazy. I'm probably just stressed."

"When was your last period?" Ryan's mom asked casually, sipping her coffee.

I looked at her.

"Why does that matter?" I asked.

"Because you look like you might be pregnant," she said.

"I'm not pregnant," I said firmly.

But then I tried to remember when my last period was.

And I couldn't; my heart started to beat fast.

I always knew when my period was coming. I tracked it. I was organized about it.

But I couldn't remember when I last had it.

"When was it?" my mom asked, seeing my face.

"I don't know," I said. "A couple months ago? More?"

"More than two months?" my mom asked.

"Mom, I'm not pregnant," I said. "I'm just stressed. Periods get delayed.”

But I went to the bathroom and dug through my calendar.

I checked my tracking app.

And realized that my last period was almost three months ago.

Three months.

I'd been throwing up for a week.

I'd been tired. I'd thought I'd gained weight but hadn't cared because I was busy.

Oh my God.

I was pregnant. Nah, it can't be

I took out the pregnancy kit and did the test and the two lines… positive.

I was absolutely, definitely pregnant.

I came back out to the living room where everyone was eating breakfast.

"I'm pregnant," I said.

Everyone stopped.

"What?" Ryan said.

"I'm pregnant," I repeated. "I can't believe I'm pregnant. How could I be pregnant?"

"You said you weren't!" my mom said.

"I didn't know!" I said. "I thought I was just stressed!"

"How pregnant?" Ryan's mom asked.

"Like almost three months, I guess?" I said. "I can't believe I didn't notice."

"How did you not notice?" my mom asked. "You've been pregnant before."

"Last time I was actively trying to get pregnant," I said. "This time I didn't even realize it was happening."

Grace came running over.

"Mommy? Are you okay?" she asked.

"Mommy's fine, baby," I said, picking her up. "Actually, Mommy has something to tell you."

"What?" she asked.

"You're going to be a big sister," I said.

Grace's eyes went wide.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really," I said.

"Like a real baby sister or brother?" she asked.

"Like a real baby sister or brother," I confirmed.

She squealed and jumped up and down.

"Can I help?" she asked.

"You can help so much," I said.

Ryan came over and pulled me into his arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look numb."

"I am numb," I said. "We weren't planning this."

"Are you upset?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I'm... I don't know what I am. Surprised? Happy? Terrified?"

"All of the above?" he said.

"All of the above," I agreed.

My mom was already planning.

"When do you think you would be due?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I need to see the doctor. But probably sometime in September?"

"Oh, a summer baby!" Ryan's mom said excitedly.

"We're having a summer baby," I said, like I was still processing it.

Grace wanted to tell everyone.

She called her Grandpa … my dad, who was in the other room watching football.

"Grandpa! Grandpa! I'm going to be a big sister!" she shouted.

My dad came running like something was wrong.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Emma's pregnant," my mom said calmly.

My dad looked at me excitedly “congratulations honey.” He hugged me” You don’t look happy. Are you happy?”

"I think so?" I said. "I'm still shocked."

"It’s amazing news," he said, pulling me into a hug.

That night, after everyone had left and Grace was asleep, Ryan and I lay in bed.

"I can't believe we're doing this again," I said.

"Are you still upset?" he asked again.

"No," I said. "But I thought we were done. I thought Grace was it."

"Maybe the universe had other plans," he said.

"I'm going to be huge," I said. "I'm going to be pregnant all summer."

"You were beautiful pregnant last time," he said. “You ace it, babe. You’re going to slay this time.”

"I’d looked like a whale," I said.

"A beautiful whale," he said teasingly

I hit him with a pillow.

"This time is going to be different," he said. "We have money. We have help. We could try picking countries you want for childbirth, Paris, Japan, wherever.”

"We weren't prepared," I said. "We didn't plan for this.”

"So we'll plan now," he said. "We'll buy stuff. We'll prepare. We have time."

"I'm going to have to take time off work," I said, suddenly panicking. "I just became co-chair. I can't take time off."

"You can and you will," Ryan said. "You're going to have a baby. And then you're going to take maternity leave. And then you're going to come back more powerful than ever. I think Ethan would understand"

I knew he was right.

But it was still scary.

The next morning, I called my boss Ethan.

"I have news," I said.

"Good news or bad news?" he asked.

"Depends on your perspective," I said. "I'm pregnant."

There was a pause.

"Congratulations," he said. "When are you due?"

"September," I said.

"Okay," he said. "Here's what we're going to do. You work through your second trimester. In your third trimester, you work from home part time. You take maternity leave starting in August. You come back three months after the baby is born. And we promote you to full partner while you're on maternity leave as a show of faith."

I stood there shocked. I couldn’t believe my ears; I almost cried.

"Really?" I asked.

"You're one of the best lawyers I have," he said. "A baby isn't going to change that. We want you back. We're going to make sure it works for you."

After I hung up, I told Ryan.

"See?" he said. "You're going to be fine. We're going to be fine."

That night, I wrote to Mia.

"Dear Mia," I started. "I have news. I'm pregnant. It came as a surprise. We weren't planning it. But I'm happy about it. And I wanted you to know because you've been such an important part of my healing. Your letters mean so much to me. And I wanted to share this with you."

I told her about Grace being excited to be a big sister. I told her about how scared I was.

I told her about how grateful I was that my boss was being supportive. And I told her that I was building a world where mistakes became miracles.

Where trauma became strength.

Where forgiveness opened doors.

A week later, I got a letter back.

"Hey friend," Mia wrote. "I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy that you're going to have another baby. I'm so happy life is treating you kindly. And I'm so happy that you let me be part of your healing. Someday, when I get out of here, I want to meet your beautiful babies. I want to be in your life. Maybe not so close as before. But as someone who cares about you and wants to see you happy. Thank you for forgiving me again. Thank you for showing me that acceptance is possible. Your faith in me has changed my life."

I cried reading that letter.

That night, I sat with Grace and told her about the baby again.

"Will the baby be a boy or a girl?" she asked.

"I don't know yet," I said. "We'll find out when we go to the doctor."

"I want a sister," she said.

"You might get a sister," I said. "Or you might get a brother. Either way, you're going to love them so much."

"Will I teach them to play hockey?" she asked.

"If you want to," I said.

"I want to teach them everything Daddy taught me," she said.

My heart melted.

"That's very sweet, baby," I said.

"And I'm going to teach them about forgiving people," she said. "Like you forgave that lady."

I pulled her close.

At three years old, Grace was already learning about forgiveness. Already understanding that people could change. Already knowing that love was more important than anger.

That was the legacy I wanted to build.

Not just surviving. But thriving.

Not just getting through. But building something beautiful. And now I was going to do it all over again.

With a new baby.

With Ryan and Grace by my side.

Sometimes the best things in life were the ones you didn't plan for. Sometimes the universe knew better than you.