Chapter 51 Desire
We make it to Ryan’s apartment, the soft click of the door barely registering before I hear the unmistakable sound of Ember meowing as if she’s been waiting to give him a piece of her mind.
Ryan hasn’t even gotten the door all the way open, and she’s already there. She practically jumps into his arms, meowing in what I can only describe as a full-on hissy fit. Clearly pissed off at being left behind.
Ryan drops to one knee, pulling her into his arms with this look of pure affection. He murmurs apologies to her in that soft voice of his as he cradles her against his chest, her purring so loud it almost vibrates through his body. She snuggles in closer like she owns him.
For some reason, the way she trusts him, the way she needs him... it’s a goddamn punch to the gut.
Finally, he stands, still holding Ember, and turns to me. "I’ll go feed her," he says. I nod, but I follow him anyway. When we get to the kitchen, he slows his pace, then stops dead in his tracks, and I know exactly what he's looking at.
"What’s that?" He asks, his voice a little distracted. I follow his gaze to the automatic feeder I bought for Ember a couple of days ago.
"Convenient, right?" my voice is casual, but the undertone’s there. "Now you don’t have to worry about her when you’re not around."
I gesture around the apartment, "I watered the plants too. Well, I may have overdone it a little. Murdered one in the process. But the rest of them should be fine. Hopefully."
He looks at me like he’s trying to piece something together. He places Ember down on the counter, her paws lightly padding against the surface as she starts sniffing around.
The look in his eyes is something I can’t quite place, something raw, something between gratitude and something else. I don’t know what it is, but it gets under my skin. He steps a few steps closer, his gaze never leaving mine, then he mutters, "Thanks."
I just nod, trying to keep my cool, but something inside me always tightens when he’s this close.
"No problem," I say, "I take cash....or Venmo."
I give him a quick, teasing smile, my gaze darting over him. The air between us is thick again, crackling with heat like it was never gone. My eyes flick back to his mouth, the way his lips part just slightly, the way his chest rises and falls with every breath he takes.
The space between us is small, barely a breath’s worth of distance, but it feels massive. His eyes locked on mine, like he's daring me to make the next move. I can feel the pressure building again, that wild tension running through me.
"Come closer," I murmur, my voice rougher than I intend, but it’s all I can manage. My heart's racing, my pulse jumping with anticipation.
He holds my gaze for a long moment, "What for?" he asks, his voice playful, like he knows exactly what he's doing.
"You'll find out when you get closer."
He shrugs like he’s not fazed. "Maybe you should come closer."
The look that spreads across my face is a mix of amusement and hunger. I take a small step forward, closing the distance just a little, and then I gesture toward him. "Your turn."
For a split second, it’s like he’s deciding whether he should take that final step. Then, after a beat that feels like an eternity, he does. He closes the gap, and the moment he does, I move fast.
I grab him by the waist, pulling him flush against me, my chest crashing into his. His breath escapes him in a soft, sharp sound, like he wasn’t expecting the sudden move, and I love it. I slide my hands lower, gripping him harder, my fingers tightening on him as I pull him even closer, the heat of his body sinking into mine.
A short, amused chuckle escapes him, his voice thick with that same desire I can’t deny. "Impatient," he whispers.
“I can’t help it. Not when you look at me like that.”
He tilts his head back slightly, his gaze sharpening, the intensity in it flickering for a split second before he asks, "Like what?"
I don’t answer him with words. My hand shifts, cupping him through the fabric of his pants, my thumb brushing over the growing bulge there. I stroke once, and his body tenses under my touch, a breath escaping him like I’ve just set off some kind of switch.
His hand shoots out, grabbing my upper arm, and his forehead falls against my shoulder like he’s trying to ground himself, to keep control. But there’s no control here. I tilt my head down, my lips brushing against his ear as I speak. "You want me to make you fall apart, Ryan," the words are heavy, thick with something dark and sure. "But you don’t know how to ask for it, do you?"
I can feel the tension, the way his body reacts to the words, like they’ve sunk into him. His gaze drifts lower, falling to where I’m touching him, and I feel the heat of his eyes on me like a physical touch, making every nerve in my body light up. Then, without saying a word, he places his hand on my chest....just above my heart. It’s a slow movement, but it carries a kind of quiet authority I can’t ignore. And he pushes against me, guiding me back, step by step, until I hit the wall.
His fingers grip my shirt, the fabric bunching in his hand as he leans in. His breath is warm against my lips, and I can’t help but tilt my head slightly.
"Consider this me asking," he says.
Before I can react or say anything, he crashes into me, his lips smashing against mine. It’s not soft. It’s not gentle. It’s carnal....and deep, completely fucking wild. His mouth is demanding, his kiss urgent, like he’s trying to consume me whole. His hands move to my neck, pulling me in. It’s like he’s been holding back, and now he’s letting go, letting everything spill out in one single, heated kiss.
I can feel the desperation in it....the way his body presses against mine like he needs this just as badly as I do. I let him take control, letting him lead as his tongue brushes against mine.
I break the kiss first, needing air, my chest is heaving, and I try to steady myself, but all I can focus on is the fire between us.
Ryan’s face is flushed, his eyes darker now.
Without a second thought, I shift, turning him around and pushing him up against the wall. His back hits it hard, but I don’t give him time to recover. I’m already unfastening his pants, fingers working quickly, pulling them and his boxers down just enough to get what I need. And when I do, I can finally see him....really see him....for the first time. The heat, the pulse of him in my hand. It makes something inside me snap, like I’ve finally gotten what I’ve wanted, and now I can’t stop.
I wrap my hand around his length, firm and slow as I stroke him. I can’t tear my gaze away.... the heat of him in my hand is intoxicating.
His eyes flick down to where my hand is wrapped around him, and I catch how his chest trembles with the effort of keeping control. But I know he’s losing it, too.
"I want to feel you hitting the back of my throat,” I say, no hesitation in my words. My voice rough, like it’s coming from the deepest part of me. “I need to taste every bit of how much you want this....swallow everything you have to give and leave you completely empty."
The soft sound that escapes his lips makes everything inside me tighten.