It's been a few days since I last saw him.
I want to run up to him and give him a big hug because I did miss him, Theresa and James, but I know that things are still a bit awkward, with everything that happened.
To add to that awkwardness, Keith is here and he wouldn't be too happy about me talking to London as of yet. All I need to do is talk to him and let him know that I intend on talking to London, because at the end of the day, he's my friend.
My friend. The last time we spoke, he'd told me that he'd had feelings for me. I just hope that once we talk, we can clear the air and look at the way forward. I hope our friendship won't be ruined because of misunderstandings.
I'm pulled back whilst my eyes are still on London. I want to say something but can't find the words.
" Come on." Keith says, leading me to the building, tugging me under his arm, my suitcase in his other hand.
I try my best to peek a glance at London, who slightly shakes his head and gets in his car, driving off. My heart clenches at thought of actually losing my friendship over miscommunication. What if he'd tried reaching out and because my phone was not with me, he'd thought I was avoiding him. Oh gosh, I need to get my phone back.
And that's what I do, the minute I step into my apartment, is ask for my phone.
" Do I really need to give you now?" He says, looking around as if it's the first time being in my apartment.
" Keith I need my phone." I hold out my hand to him.
He turns to me, sighing once he notices my serious face.
He takes out his own and calls someone." Alex, bring me my wife's phone." He says, looking into my eyes.
"Thank you." I tell him the minute he hangs up. " Um, do you want anything to eat or drink?" I ask, walking over to the fridge.
"You want to talk to him don't you?"
I don't say anything but take out a yoghurt before turning to face him. " Yes." I continue on to take a spoon and then walk over to the living room, taking a seat on the couch, one leg tugged under the other.
" Why?" He stands before me.
"Because he's my friend."
"The same one who tried to kiss you?" He argues.
" " I start eating my yoghurt.
" Why are you doing this when you know I won't be happy about it?"
I frown, looking up at him." Keith I love you but not everything is about you. He was there for me when I thought I had no one, when I actually thought you'd divorce me!" My voice rises.
He takes a step back like I've just slapped him." So is that how it's going to be, you reminding me of my faults?"
I open my mouth to speak but the knock on the door interrupts me. Keith heads on over to open the door, letting Alex in.
Alex nods at me in acknowledgment before handing over a box to Keith.
" Thank you Alex, I'll be right down." Alex nods before walking out.
"Here." Keith hands me the white box.
Taking it from him, I open it and instead of seeing my phone, a new big, grey shiny phone is in here.
" Where's my phone?" I ask, still looking at the phone.
" That is your phone."
" No, I mean the one I gave you, where is it?" This time I look at him.
" I replaced it with this new one, that one was old."
" Not up to your standards right?" I'm upset right now, I don't appreciate him making decisions for me.
"What?" He frowns in confusion.
" Keith." I sigh. "I liked my phone, I had everything in it, my memories are stored in there and you thought you can just - you can't just make decisions for me" I rise to my feet now.
" Kea why are you so upset? It's just- ."
"Just a phone right, well not to me. I've had it since I was 16, it is sentimental to me and you didn't even take that into consideration."
" Okay okay, I'll get it back. At least take that one." He says calmly.
I look at him for a moment before sitting back down, now calm.
We remain in silence for a while before he joins me." Kea?"
" Hmm?" I turn to look at him.
" What did you mean by standards?" I tense up a bit.
" Nothing." I mumble, taking my yoghurt.
"No, that was not nothing, tell me."
"Just forget about it Keith and go on, shouldn't you be at work or at a meeting?"
" Kea, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on with you. Wait I know, it's that London guy isn't it?"
Oh my God, here he goes again .
" Can you please leave London out of this?"
" So you're defending him now?"
" No, I just want you to stop involving him in our problems."
" Well I didn't know we had problems!" He snaps, getting off the couch again, now pacing.
" Ofcourse you wouldn't, no, Keith Salvatore will do something and think all will be forgotten the next day just because he's more calm and collected." I say.
"Oh , so in not so many words, there's a part of you that resents me for what I did, you didn't actually forgive me, did you?"
" Keith I forgave you, I just think that we just got on the okay too fast. We acted like we've been happy and dory in our 2 years of marriage, when we didn't even sit down and talk about the deep stuff, the problems."
" What's the fucking problem here?!"
" The problem here is that a part of me doesn't trust you, I feel that you are two different people with me, in private and in public. I can't help but doubt that if the incident with Jason and Riley didn't happen, you wouldn't have done that statement. You would have denied me in front of everyone."
Emotion swirls in his eyes while my own moisten.
" I wouldn't- ," he takes a step forward, but I hold up my hand to stop him.
" I love you Keith, I really do, because you own my heart and my every being. But I can't deny my feelings, I cant deny how I feel, that I'm your dirty little secret." I choke on the last sentence.
" Kea- ."
" Please leave. I just need to be alone right now." I push back my tears before taking a minute to look at him, wanting him to see that I'm serious.
He sighs before nodding and leaving.
The minute the door slams shut, I release a breath, closing my eyes but not crying.
I had to be honest. Even with my paining heart, I had to.
A part of me wants to call him and ask him to come back and that we need to sit down and talk. But the bigger part says no, I have to stand by what I've said. Maybe it's insecurities bubbling in me, I don't know why I snapped like that.
I just couldn't hold it in anymore, too much is in mind and I'm feeling a little stressed, with going over my chat with Riley, the event involving Jason, what Elena mentioned when she came by and of course, the fact that there's question of whether Keith will ever acknowledge me on paper and in public.
That no longer will I be a secret, a two year secret.
A knock on the door takes me out of my thoughts.
Could it be Keith, he's come back?
" Kea!" A scream is what I hear the minute I open the door, following with someone launching themselves onto me.
I stagger back a bit, holding both Theresa and I up. Damn this girl.
"Hello to you too ' Resa' ." I pay her back before she steps back, a smile on her face.
"Gosh I missed you and before you say anymore, I'm joining you to the hip today since I missed you, so cancel all plans today because you are all mine." She points her finger at me, serious expression on.
" Okay." I trail off.
"Yes. So what did you bring for me?" She says, walking past me and entering inside.
I chuckle, turning back to close the door when I freeze in place, seeing London.
" Hello." I breathe out.
"Hi Kea, can I come in?" He says, hands in his pockets.
" Ofcourse, you're my friend, you're always welcome here." I say, frowning.
He nods, averting his eyes to the floor for a second, before pushing off the wall and closing the distance. I have no time to react when his one hand rests on my cheek and he plants a kiss on my forehead before walking past me, entering.
I'm left speechless.
What just happened?