I'm jolted awake by a noise coming from the door. I don't have time to react when the door is opened and I hear someone enter the room.
Good thing my back is facing the person.
The bed dips and I hold my breath.
" Kea, I know you're awake." Joe.
I sigh out in relief, glancing over my shoulder at him." Why are you here Joe?"
"Joey, I'm here as Joey. Your friend, remember?"
I sigh again, rolling over onto my back, turning my head to him.
"What's wrong? "
" I ruined everything."
"And by everything you mean?"
"My friendship with Keith, I snapped and basically hinted in me being in love with him. Gosh I feel stupid, feel embarrassed." I groan out, now thinking about earlier.
"Well it was bound to happen."
"What do you mean?"
"You've been holding onto this truth for a long time, something was bound to push it out of you."
" I guess you're right but I don't like how it happened. I've ruined everything, now he won't look at me the same."
"Of course he won't , he'll start to see the right woman for him, the one who truly loves him." He tells me.
" I don't know about that, but thanks for trying."
"That's what friends are for." I smile at that.
"Hey do you want to get out of here, I mean we are in a different place and I'm sure you don't want to stay locked up here forever ."
"Yes please, the walls are driving me crazy." I say.
"Okay then, just get ready, I'll be downstairs." He tells me, rising to his feet and heading for the door.
"Um Joey?" He stops and glances over his shoulder
" I don't exactly have clothes near, could you- ."
"No problem." He nods , getting out of the room, leaving me with a sigh.
Minutes later he comes back with my suitcase, leaving right after and giving me space to get ready.
Finding the bathroom, I jump into the shower, get out, get dressed and look myself over at the full mirror, actually appreciating what I see.
Someone knocks on the door. I rush to open it, wanting Joey to see that I'm ready to go.
" Keith." I breathe out. surprised to see him right in front of me.
"Hey I...." He stops talking, taking me all in. "Going somewhere?"
"Oh yeah, I'm going out to eat with Joe." I say.
"Well I'm going with you." He suddenly says, making me frown.
"W-what - um why?....... I mean aren't you tired , it's been a long day."
" I'm fine. "
"But what about the people, won't they suspect something about us, being out together?"
"Then that's their problem, I want to enjoy a night out with my friend."
"Oh."
"You don't want me to come along don't you?"
"No no, I do want you to come along. "
"Okay good, let me just change and I'll be right down." He says, disappearing from view only to appear after a second." You look pretty tonight."
"Thank you." I murmur , though I doubt he heard me, because right after he complimented me, he disappeared.
Getting out of the room, I try find my way around here, till I find the stairs leading downstairs. Once down , I make way to the living room, remembering the time Keith carried me on his shoulder then bridal style and being witnessed by the lady.
A blush warms my cheeks at the thought. Gosh, how good it felt to be carried like that, what I'd give to just be in his arms again.
Gosh I'm hopeless.
I decide to look around. Rising to my feet from the couch, I walk over to where family pictures are and a smile takes over, looking at pictures of a young Keith and his mom. God he looked so happy.
There's him riding a horse, him playing soccer, him and his dad fishing, now as he's older and successful. He looked young and free, no pain but pure happiness.
I'd only spent and gotten to know more of his mom then his father, him on the other hand was never much in the picture. Things seemed a bit tense, especially after Keith's mom's death.
He isolated himself and just pushed everyone away.
It is sad really, and I wish I knew how to fix things for him, because what I'd witnessed in little time getting to know his family, is that the Salvatore's love family. It is important.
I sigh, my eyes skimming on more pictures when I stop at a certain picture, the one of him and Elena at the park. Keith is looking straight at the camera, arm slung casually on her shoulders while Elena, has her arm around his waist and she isn't looking at the camera but at Keith.
I would have looked away fast if only something about her eyes shining and the smile sent his way ,didn't give me a sense of weirdness.
'She's important to me.' His words.
'Don't give up on him.' Joe's words.
Gosh why is my mind working overtime over this?
I shake off all these thoughts and turn around, only to gasp and jump in fright when I see the lady from earlier, present.
When did she get in here?
"Gosh I uh, didn't see you there."I mumble, my hand against my chest.
" I'm sorry to frighten you Mrs Salvatore, it wasn't my intention."
"Oh so you too know." I mumble.
All she does is stare at me, making things awkward.
" Sorry for staring, is there anything you might need Mrs Salvatore?"
" Um no, I'm good thank you." I tell her. I look around for a second before looking back at her again." I'm sorry, who are you again?"
" Mrs Davies, I look after the house. It's finally good to meet you mam."
" Yes um, thank you. Can I ask you something?"
" Ofcourse mam."
"How long have you been working here?" I feel embarrassed just for asking.
" I've been here for quite a long time mam, this home belonged to Mrs Salvator until she passed it down to him as a wedding gift." Wedding gift?
My heart sinks. She truly believed in this marriage and even gifted him with such a beautiful home. I feel so foreign being here, his true love should be standing right here and experiencing Aspen and his beautiful home .
"It is a lovely home, a place to make memories. " I look around, a small smile on my face.
" And build a family." She adds.
" And build a family." I mumble, repeating her words.
" Are you ready to go?" My head snaps in Keith's direction, where he enters the living room.
"Yes, we're just waiting for Joey. I mean Joe, Joe."
" Excuse me." Mrs Davies says, excusing herself and leaving us alone.
" Thank you Mrs Davies. " I call after her.
" He's not coming." Oh no, It'll only be the two of us.
" What but why not?"
"Something demanded his time and attention."
" Oh, well let's go." I tell him, already walking past him to where I believe the front door is.
" Kea?"
" Yes?" I glance over my shoulder.
"The doors that way," he points to a different direction.
"Right." I walk on to the right direction, my cheeks warm in embarrassment. A smirking Keith right behind me.
Aspen. Here we come.
The trip is rather quiet and I don't have much to say to him. I feel like when I open my mouth, I'll either embarrass myself or find myself visiting earlier and I don't want that. So I'd rather stay silent.
Again. He's driving and thank God for the music playing softly, awkward silence has never been a good thing.
Maybe it was better when he'd ignored me, never even given me a second glance, it was better detecting his mood then. I knew when he didn't want to be bothered, I was a silent watcher.
But now that we're friends or what's left of our friendship, after ruining it earlier, I'm awkward and have nothing to say or do. Gosh if I had my phone right now, I'd be distracting myself with it, but he has it. I should probably ask for it later, I'll also have a chance to call my friends, I miss them now.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea coming here, what was I thinking? Oh right. I wasn't thinking, I only based off feelings.
I break out of my thoughts when the car suddenly stops. Looking ahead I see a nice restaurant. The lighting is beautiful and bold, totally inviting.
We've arrived.
He gets out of the car, coming over to my side where I'd already taken off the seatbelt. Once the door has opened, I get out and immediately regret not bringing a jacket. Damn the air is quite chilly.
I start to shiver.
"Here." He starts to take off his jacket but I stop him." It's okay, let's just go." With that I walk past him.
The small hand on my back has me tensing a bit, despite being cold, his touch is able to give me warm chills.
We continue on until we finally make it inside and are led to a private section at the back, a few eyes on us as we pass. Seated, the waiter attends to us, giving us the menus and five minutes to decide on what we want. He comes back right after with our drinks.
The restaurant alone is small and intimate, the theme cozy and comforting. What I love about it, is the live entertainment.
Being left alone again gives me reason to look around and wander about, not look at him.
I hear him sigh." Kea."
"Mhm?" I look at him.
"You've been silent the whole trip here, what's wrong?"
" Nothing, I'm just a little tired." I lie, avoiding eye contact.
"You've been asleep the whole day."
I frown, looking up." How do you know that?"
"It's our house, I think I'd know what happens in there? "
"Right..." I trail off, repeating his words.
He said ours.
I open my mouth to correct him but then the waiter comes back. We both order and once he leaves again, we are left in silence.
" I can't handle this, please talk to me Kea, I want to hear your beautiful voice."
I blush." Don't say things like that ." I mutter, my eyes dropping to my feet.
"Why not?" I don't answer.
" I have a right to compliment my wife." My eyes snap to his.
My heart flutters. Stop it heart.
"We are talking now." I mention.
"No, I want us to talk talk."
" I think I know everything there is to know about you."
"Nope, there's always something new to know about someone."
"How is it possible to jump into the new when you haven't given me indication of knowing much about me?"
Silence.
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.
He opens his mouth to say something when I speak up first. Cutting him off.
"How was your day Mr Salvatore?"
"It was okay apart from my wife not speaking to me."
" Keith please, let's not go there." I sigh, taking a sip of my drink.
"Let's not go where, because I was telling you about my day." He shrugs.
"You know what I mean."
"No I don't actually. Why don't you tell me?" Why is he making things difficult for me.
I huff, looking away.
I'm relieved when the waiter comes back with our food.
"Thank you." I tell him and he nods, walking away.
" Kea." I don't say anything, don't even look at him but start eating.
It would have been better if I came with Joey.
I hear him sigh before he follows suit and starts eating.
We eat in silence, the air tense and unbearable. Well I won't cower, I just need to get this night over and done with.
My eyes move from my food to my surroundings, everyone around us is having a good time, people communicating and being in deep conversation, while couples are in their own bubbles. They stare into each others eyes, love evident and sending secret messages with their eyes.
How I long for that, to be loved in return. To sit proudly in a crowd and be in love, not caring what people say. A love that is confident and people envy, your other half showing you off and people have no choice but to watch, knowing what the two people in front of them have, is real and strong.
I internally sigh, returning back to my food.
I feel eyes on me and when looking up, I realize that Keith is looking at me.
I can't handle looking at him tonight, my hope, wait and love is just being smashed in my face, it feels like. I don't know why I feel like this, why everything seems so unbearable and suffocating.
' That's because you want to blurt out that you love him, you want everyone to know , that your heart belongs to him.' My consciousness tells me.
' But then he'd reject me and break me.' I respond, everything in me sinking.
" Kea." I see his mouth moving yet I can't hear him.
A hand envelopes mine and I jolt out of my thoughts. " Kea you're crying."
"What?" I frown.
"You're crying. " I touch my hand under my eyes to feel actual wetness.
These are the results of my inner thoughts.
"Oh um, I must have been staring too hard, caught air in my eyes. " I try explain, dabbing at the spot with my napkin.
" Kea."
"Excuse me please." I say, rising to my feet and quickly walking away, not waiting for him to say anything.
Not wanting to be lost, I ask a passing waitress the direction to the ladies before making way to it. I lock myself in a stall and release a shaky breath. Sitting on the toilet seat, I close my eyes for a minute, trying to calm myself down.
I don't think I can do this, I don't think I can carry on with this friendship any longer, when all I want is to be more. He's divorcing me and moving on with another. It's not right for me but it's best for him I suppose.
He will never see more to us then the girl who helped him out, maybe this friendship is out of pity, not wanting the divorce to end on a bad note.
My heart keeps breaking and he'll never hear it, he'll never see it, he'll just see wife on the paper and nothing more. It's sad really.
I think coming to Aspen was a mistake, I should have stayed back at home and tried fixing things with London but no, I went with my over excited heart, only for it to be disappointed once again.
I don't know what I was expecting on this trip, maybe I expected too much or maybe I didn't expect anything at all.
I don't know much anymore.
Realization of me being here for too long convinces me to rise up on my feet and get out of the stall. Washing my hands and staring myself in the mirror, I mentally tell myself to be strong.
I should just tell him. Yes I should tell him that I'm leaving tomorrow.
Drying my hands, I walk out of the bathroom and head back to our table, only to find him texting on his phone. Like he senses me coming, he looks up from his phone, his eyes following my movements till I sit back down.
My eyes drop to my lap, preparing myself for what I'm about to say. I look up again, seeing him put his phone away.
" Keith."
"Alright wait here, I'll be right back." He rises up.
" But I - ."
" A minute please." He quickly says, walking away and meeting a man in a suit. I think it's the manager.
I watch their interaction curiously, wondering what this is about.
Instead of coming back, he goes over to the stage, he is given a microphone where he remains on the stage. "Good evening everyone."
There's a chorus of good evenings, he's earned everyone's attention now.
What is he up to?
" I apologise for interrupting your evening but I just want to send a personal message to a very special and amazing woman." Right when he says this, a waiter comes over to our table with a full chocolate cake, words written in cursive and pink on top.
My beautiful Angel.
My heart hammers against my chest, especially when a song begins to play and Keith comes over to me.
"Dance with me." He holds out his hand for me to take.
" Keith, people are watching." I tell him, looking around at all the curious eyes.
" I don't care, let them watch me dance with the most beautiful girl here, my wife."
I gulp, taking his hand, rising to my feet and letting him lead me to the dance floor.
Nervous as I may be, I wrap my arms around his neck, his fingers trail down my sides and I shiver under his touch. I feel his hands land on my waist, pulling me a bit close and I rest my chin on his shoulder, letting him take the lead.
People start joining us and it's no more us alone present, but other couples.
A small squeeze on my waist has me gasping in surprise, his hot breath warms my neck and the side of my face.
"You think I don't know anything about you but I do. Don't be fooled by my silence Angel, because I'm an observer and yes, I've observed far enough to know when I'm in the presence of an angel." A barely there kiss on the underside of my ear gives me pleasurable tingles, my eyes automatically close.
" I know that you have the kindest heart, you hate conflict and causing others pain. You love cake, especially chocolate cake, you love white orchards but roses are dear to you heart. Your mother has always been number one in your heart. You care, you listen and you hear. " I lean back to look at him, my eyes getting moist as he's speaking.
Our eyes meet as he continues." You are the most committed person I know, you've never given me reason to ever doubt. "
I open my mouth to speak but he cuts me off." I said those awful words to you out of anger and jealousy, it was stupid, mean and unforgivable yet still you forgave me. "
"Jealous, jealous of what?"
"Jealous of seeing another man making you smile." An unknown emotion passes his eyes, for some reason it scares me.
I drop my eyes to my feet, my forehead against his shoulder. Taking a breath. We stop dancing, and he tilts my face up, our eyes meeting.
" I'll spend my days apologising."
" I never want you to be silent on me. I never want a day to begin or end without you speaking to me. I never want you to cry anymore, no more tears. Because when you cry, it hurts my heart." He kisses my temple.
A tear slips out, trailing down my cheeks.
"No, no more tears." He wipes away the tear.
" I want to hear your voice every chance I get, I want to see your eyes smiling and I need your heart happy, not broken, I want when I see you, for your heart to reflect in your eyes, reflecting peace, contentment and happiness. That's what I want ."
"Why are you saying all of this?" I say, with my voice just above a whisper.
" Because I never want you to doubt your value in my life." He says.