Tears threaten to fall as I stand alone in the living room, with an envelope in hand.
This is it, I'm moving out.
I didn't believe I could do it but here I am, about to leave this place like I never lived here. This was bound to happen, I know but it still is hard. There's still that twinge in my heart telling me that I'm giving up but then I need to do this, not because of James's words yesterday but for my own peace of mind.
A big decision yet again.
Keith isn't even here to see me off, not that I expect him to. He's out of the country, he has a business conference to attend to in London and won't be back till three days. I've tried to get ahold of him today but his phone is off and that's why I've written this letter, I hope he receives it and know that I didn't mean to leave this way, I would have waited but for this one time, I couldn't.
Placing the letter on the glass coffee table, I take a breath surveying my surroundings, taking each detail into memory. I've already said goodbye to everyone and had everything delivered to my new place. Clutching my bag , I start heading to the door, each step hard and my heart feeling heavier yet I still move, until I'm out the door, this time not even looking back.
No one bothers me, not even the security, Sarah or Joe as I make my way to James's car, which is parked just outside the gates. For some reason , the security were extra hard on people coming in, aka James, I don't even understand why they're doing this.
I offer a small smile to them as I walk past, a small kind gesture.
" Are you ready?" That's the first thing James says when I meet him .
" I'd rather not say now." I mumble, eyes on the ground.
He leads me to the passenger seat, where I lean back on the seat, head turned to the window as the first tear decorates my cheek.
When James enters , he doesn't say anything but starts the car and drives off. Not long, I feel his hand covering mine and though tempted to remove it because of the reminder that I'm married, I don't. A small squeeze on my hand is enough to draw out all kept tears, my heart heavy yet my mind peaks at the weight of the freedom I'm approaching.
Okay so moving is no fun, I've already gotten a taste of it but now as I'm sweating, moving things around, placing dishes in their rightful places, sweeping and all...I can definitely say the freedom hasn't sunk in, with how hard I've been pulling at my muscles. If I move anymore heavy stuff, I swear I'll pass out.
" Okay I'm done!" I cry out, throwing myself on my brand new cream white couch.
" Hey we haven't even - "
" Don't even say it, I'll cry!" I warn James , who appears from my new bedroom.
" Oh you look like the dead." He says, shaking his head.
" I feel like it." I tiredly say.
" It would be better if we do things at one go "
" Tomorrow." I say, my eyes already drooping low, exhaustion weighing on me.
He sighs." You're lucky I adore you," he grumbles.
"Thank you." I call out. A smile making its way onto my face.
" Lazy ass." He mumbles, walking away.
" I heard that!" I call after him.
" Good and you owe me lunch!" My eyes pop open at that.
" Where's the heart!" I call out.
" Never said I had one!" He calls back before groaning as I hear something heavy being pushed against the floor.
Oh I totally forgot how grumpy he can be, well if it takes lunch to get off on heavy lifting, I'm fine with that.
Later on , once we're done with everything and this apartment now looking and feeling like a home, James and I sit on the couch, relaxing and taking in my new home.
It's not much but it's still my home. Gosh, my home, it feels surreal.
" Hey what's that smile for?" James asks, and when I'm pulled out of my thoughts , I realize that yes I am smiling.
" I'm appreciating my new home." I say, smile still intact.
" Yeah, for two people we sure did good. Hey, why don't we go out and celebrate your first night here, maybe go eat out." He suggests.
Thinking about it, I am a bit tired. Okay maybe a lot but a little bit of fresh air will do.
Before I can actually say anything, there's a knock on the door.
" Expecting anyone?" He asks and I shake my head no.
I rise to my feet and head to the door.
"Hello new neighbour." That's the first thing I hear when I open my door, the second being the cake shoved in my face. Okay I was not prepared for this.
I take the cake from her hands and take a step back.
Standing before me is a girl my height, auburn hair, green eyes, pale skin with little freckles on her nose and a bright smile. Wow she's pretty, in a fantasy kind of way, she's one of those rare beauties. There's something about her.
" Hi....neighbour?"
" Yes, can I come in?" Wow, so direct.
" Uh yeah sure." I say uncertain, moving aside for her to come in.
" You look like a vampire." That's what I hear come from James, making my jaw to drop.
" James!" I gasp in shock of what he just said.
" It's okay, I get that sometimes....especially from him and my brother."
" Wait, you guys know each other?"
" Yep, met when we were both late for a shoot. We got stuck in the same lift and made out." James says shrugging.
" What?!" Both me and the girl exclaim.
" Yeah I - "
" Yeah that's not what happened, though he wishes. Anyway, yes with the late shoot and lift but no to the making out part. We got to know each other on the lift and let me tell you...this one , totally annoying." She whispers the last part.
" Hey I'm quite fun to be around." He almost whines.
I stare at him in amusement.
" I'm Theresa by the way." She says, holding out her hand.
" Akiandra but most people call me Kea for short." I shake her hand." Well thank you for the cake." I tell her as I head to the kitchen to place the cake in the fridge.
"My pleasure. Anyway how do you guys know each other? " She asks, sitting down next to James.
" Burger King." Both James and I say.
" Can I get you anything to drink, water, juice.....I haven't really done any grocery shopping." I sheepishly admit.
" Oh I'm fine thanks, so tell me about Burger King. "
" Well we worked there together two years ago and I guess a friendship happened. "
"Yeah then I had to move away. We lost out on contact and two years later, here we are...reunited." James says proudly, bringing a smile to my face.
Making my way back to them, I sit on the coffee table, staring back at them." So how long since you've moved here?" I ask her.
" Oh just for a month now.. It's actually temporary, until I find my own place. Can't imagine living with my brother for a long period."
I nod in understanding, even if I've never had a sibling.
" Oh wow...is that - I thought you guys were just friends." She suddenly says, her eyes on my ring.
"We are...um I - " I don't know how to explain. I'm tongue tied at the moment, not quite sure how I could explain living here while married.
" She's married." James blurts out, my eyes widen at his action.
" Oh wow. Where and who's the lucky guy?"
" He's out of town." I mumble, avoiding her eyes.
" Oh......Well I hope I meet him when he gets back, so what were you guys up to, I'm kinda bored and - "
" Say no more, we are going out."
" No club." I quickly warn, making their faces to fall , my serious and adamant face seems to do the trick because soon their shoulders slump and they nod.
" Okay good, well let me just freshen up and we're good to go. " I tell them before heading to my room.
" The innocent kind right?" I hear her say behind me.
" You have no idea." James says.